SleekArchitecture Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 If anything has sealed the deal that I will never go back into the affair, is that it has finally affected what I love most, my children. I have been juggling life, kids, everything on my own. I have been stressed over the affair. They have been tough lately, argumentative about everything non stop, demanding, and talking back constantly. It is difficult everyday. I usually hold all in and take everything in stride, and have had many comments from many how I so easily handle it as if it is nothing, but I blew a gasket, and ended up yelling. I told them to look at me, really look at me, do I look happy. I told them I hate my life, I hate it and so on. They looked shocked. I think they think it is them. I feel so guilty and upset. I cannot stop crying. They have been quiet for once. Has anyone else lost it for a moment.
gettingstronger Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Raises hand- I do not know of one person that has not totally lost their **** around their kids at some point (I admit to more than once)- the key I guess it to recognize the root cause, forgive yourself and move forward- children are the purest form of unconditional love and they will forgive and be OK- if this becomes a "habit" you need to seek some help-but tonight, you just need some peace and to remember you are human- 1
Poppy47 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 That's life. Don't wrap your family in cotton wool They will never be resilient in the real world. Poppy.
dubliner Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 How old are your children? It doesn't hurt them to see you are human, children need to know that parents have bad days and get through them, it's a fact of life, it's not all unicorns and rainbows, putting yourself on a pedestal isn't healthy for anyone. I would talk to them, let them know it's not them that you dislike about your life and your outburst is regretted. Explain you are going to be happy, you're working on it, without going into detail or burdening them with your issues but in a reassuring sense... Mum will be fine.
blue963 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Well just accept that you are human too and even though we dont like to do that in front of our children it does help them to see that we have feelings too. Hope today starts looking better. 1
Ruffian1 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Your children didn't know about him I hope. We Moms all have those moments. Apologize to them, do something nice, (cook a favorite meal, etc) and keep plugging on with life. 1
Minnie09 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 If this was your first and only outburst, then you're doing really good. Happens to me, too, and I feel like **** doing it. But sometimes I just can't help it - I have to yell.
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I am so relieved to read these responses. I expected to get pummeled. No, I am more of a pushover with the children who all have strong personalities. I usually can endure the back talk, but they were insulting me yesterday, not listening to any directions, over the top sassy, and then one insulted me by calling me Ms. Fancy Pants, and the other snickering and I lost it! I did talk to them and ensured them they had nothing to do with my breakdown. You are right, they forgive so easily, unconditionally, and have so much love to give.
gettingstronger Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Not to turn this in to a parenting thread-but don't allow a "strong personality" to be an excuse for disrespect from a child-or really anyone- the gift of learning time/place and respect will do them good for life!
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Not to turn this in to a parenting thread-but don't allow a "strong personality" to be an excuse for disrespect from a child-or really anyone- the gift of learning time/place and respect will do them good for life! Of course, thank you, I have been working on it, not extremely successful as of yet, but will not give up.
Minnie09 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Of course, thank you, I have been working on it, not extremely successful as of yet, but will not give up. Ha. I'm the same way. Strong-willed child, mother a pushover. Occasionally. 2
the_artist_1970 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 If anything has sealed the deal that I will never go back into the affair, is that it has finally affected what I love most, my children. I have been juggling life, kids, everything on my own. I have been stressed over the affair. They have been tough lately, argumentative about everything non stop, demanding, and talking back constantly. It is difficult everyday. I usually hold all in and take everything in stride, and have had many comments from many how I so easily handle it as if it is nothing, but I blew a gasket, and ended up yelling. I told them to look at me, really look at me, do I look happy. I told them I hate my life, I hate it and so on. They looked shocked. I think they think it is them. I feel so guilty and upset. I cannot stop crying. They have been quiet for once. Has anyone else lost it for a moment. Don't beat yourself up. If you have children and have never "lost" it by blowing up, you must be the Virgin Mary. You are only human. Forgive yourself because you are in a better place. 1
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Don't beat yourself up. If you have children and have never "lost" it by blowing up, you must be the Virgin Mary. You are only human. Forgive yourself because you are in a better place. Thank you, yes I have a well adapted force, a gift, of zoning out a lot of craziness. I do well with keeping my cool with my children, if I could only adopt this attitude toward others as well. I could then be Mary Poppins.
summerdowling87 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Not to turn this in to a parenting thread-but don't allow a "strong personality" to be an excuse for disrespect from a child-or really anyone- the gift of learning time/place and respect will do them good for life! I agree. My mom has done some really outrages things she all ways tells me that she's surprised that I never ever disrespected her in any fashion.
awkward Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Yep I've lost it before too. It is hard work being a mother and we all make mistakes. Congrats for realizing your mistake and working on it. That right there is great parenting. 1
jwi71 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 (edited) Gah....replied to wrong thread! So sorry Edited March 13, 2015 by jwi71 wrong thread
Popsicle Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Yes I have but not because of MM. The good news is that theyll see that mommy has feelings too. The bad news is that you'll all go right back to how things have been, lol. 1
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