PJ1234 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I am just going to put everything weighing on my soul out here. I feel 100% alone in this world and have no idea what to do. I would like to start by moving to a bigger city and trying to make friends. What I so deeply desire is a loving relationship with a man and to have a family, but I feel it would be best to focus on making friendships first. Every single one of my friends is married and far away and really has no time for me. My family is far away and, I love them but we do fight when together. I basically have cried every single day for the past year because I don't see anything getting better for me. Will I ever not feel lonely? Knowing that my ex is married hurts because I wonder if he'll be the only man I ever loved my whole life. I'm scared, sad, lonely, low self-esteem, and just want friendships and a boyfriend so badly. I have no idea which way to turn in my life, but I do know if I keep things the same they will stay the same.
preraph Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'd start by seeing a therapist. You have been depressed for a year. You do not have to be depressed. Go see a psychologist or psychiatrist and tell them you are tired of being depressed and you want to be tested and then meds. You are in a spiral. You are too depressed for anyone to be drawn to you, which is only perpetuating your problem here. So you need to go get that fixed and once you do things will start looking up. You want to find a man to fix you, but a man can't fix you. A therapist can, and then you can find a man.
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 *What I so deeply desire is a loving relationship with a man and to have a family, but I feel it would be best to focus on making friendships first. If you want the answer, this is it: To be loved, be loving. To find peace, be peaceful. To find forgiveness, be forgiving. To be cared about, be caring. To be treated kindly, be kind. To be understood, be understanding. To have friends, be friendly. Etc. You can have what you want, if you also give it generously to others. Good luck. 1
Author PJ1234 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I think what I'm saying wasn't expressed correctly. I am by no means looking for a man to "fix" me. In fact, I want to find individual happiness before letting any man into my life. I am just so lonely and really don't have anyone in this world and that's what I am going through. I just don't know if it's even possible to restart my social life. What I want is a close group of friends to be there for and vice versa. 1
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I think what I'm saying wasn't expressed correctly. I am by no means looking for a man to "fix" me. In fact, I want to find individual happiness before letting any man into my life. I am just so lonely and really don't have anyone in this world and that's what I am going through. I just don't know if it's even possible to restart my social life. What I want is a close group of friends to be there for and vice versa. I was in exactly the same situation in the past, and it's very difficult. It takes time to develop new relationships, but it can be done. You have to extend yourself to others. Give others exactly what you want to receive. Honestly, that's all you have to do. 1
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you for this encouragement. May it come, may it come, the time you will fall in love with.
MGX Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I am just going to put everything weighing on my soul out here. I feel 100% alone in this world and have no idea what to do. I would like to start by moving to a bigger city and trying to make friends. What I so deeply desire is a loving relationship with a man and to have a family, but I feel it would be best to focus on making friendships first. Every single one of my friends is married and far away and really has no time for me. My family is far away and, I love them but we do fight when together. I basically have cried every single day for the past year because I don't see anything getting better for me. Will I ever not feel lonely? Knowing that my ex is married hurts because I wonder if he'll be the only man I ever loved my whole life. I'm scared, sad, lonely, low self-esteem, and just want friendships and a boyfriend so badly. I have no idea which way to turn in my life, but I do know if I keep things the same they will stay the same. You should turn your life to yourself. Stop living for other people. Quit crying and be proactive with your own entertainment or enjoyment. Go out and see a movie. By yourself! Go to your favorite restaurant. By yourself! Lose yourself in a book or a video game. Your self-worth isn't dependent on others.
Author PJ1234 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 You are absolutely right about that and I do do everything on my own. It is normal to need people in your life and that doesn't make one "needy". Good luck to you enjoying doing everything in your life on your own.
Timshel Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 You are absolutely right about that and I do do everything on my own. It is normal to need people in your life and that doesn't make one "needy". Good luck to you enjoying doing everything in your life on your own. I have been where you are. Honestly, you have to learn to be ok with being alone. You are saying that you are scared and lonely. Go through it. I feel for you but I can't be with you. This is a part of your journey and it is your own. Don't be afraid of it, learn from it. So this is a time of solitude. Another day will be filled with noise. Everything changes and this too shall pass.
Author PJ1234 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you. I really needed to hear that. The thing I struggle with most is the horrible belief that this will never pass. I actually enjoy solitude in a way...in a way it does help you to grow. I really just don't want to be alone the rest of my life though.
Timshel Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you. I really needed to hear that. The thing I struggle with most is the horrible belief that this will never pass. I actually enjoy solitude in a way...in a way it does help you to grow. I really just don't want to be alone the rest of my life though. You won't be alone for the rest of your life. You do hear how dramatic that sounds? Of course you won't. Yes, it will pass. This is only a time in your life. That's all. No more, no less. It's what you make of it. Well...what will you make? Go get your dream.
endlessabyss Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I'd start by seeing a therapist. You have been depressed for a year. You do not have to be depressed. Go see a psychologist or psychiatrist and tell them you are tired of being depressed and you want to be tested and then meds. You are in a spiral. You are too depressed for anyone to be drawn to you, which is only perpetuating your problem here. So you need to go get that fixed and once you do things will start looking up. You want to find a man to fix you, but a man can't fix you. A therapist can, and then you can find a man. I think this is bad advice. imo. 1.) A therapist will probably be a waste if you want anything other than someone to vent to about your problems 2.) Meds are a horrible idea. You'd be better off exercising than taking that garbage. The stem of the OP's depression is her loneliness. Yes, loneliness causes depression. Will taking faulty meds build relationships, or give you the skills to build relationships? No. Get around people, and your depression will fade. 1
Author PJ1234 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Thanks girl, you are the best! Yes, it does sound ridiculous, but this is the belief that's been crippling me, haha. #girlpower #thanx
Author PJ1234 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Thanks endlessabyss! I have been trying to think of ways to get myself out there. I can't give up.
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