NGC1300 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I've heard that the more physically attractive a woman is, the less men should directly acknowledge this with compliments on her appearance. Any thoughts on this?
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I'd say to save a compliment on her looks till you are on a date with her. It's also fine to give a compliment to a woman you know when she has obviously dressed up. Though telling a random girl you met at Starbucks that she looks pretty/cute, waste of time. 2
Author NGC1300 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 Though telling a random girl you met at Starbucks that she looks pretty/cute, waste of time. Ah, got it. That's mainly what I was inquiring about.
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 every person on earth should be complimented......for who they are and appreciated for that..not merely the outer self they live in....it does no harm or foul to compliment any woman or man ...however ...some women and men are not used to being paid a compliment and dont know how to take it...... there should be more appreciation of people in general worldwide not less appreciation....... when people feel they are noticed and of worth it can perk up flagging spirits........a compliment costs nothing to give and can make a grey day blue skies..... for someone who deserves to feel good about themselves regardless of what they look like.... attractive or not......find something to compliment a person about and just say it if you find them attractive or not.....be that change to someones day based on wanting to make someone feel good.......with no ulterior motive ...just simply to make them feel good........in turn.....i have always found to give a compliment makes me happy...i like to do it.....for no reason at all.........deb 9
loveweary11 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 every person on earth should be complimented......for who they are and appreciated for that..not merely the outer self they live in....it does no harm or foul to compliment any woman or man ...however ...some women and men are not used to being paid a compliment and dont know how to take it...... there should be more appreciation of people in general worldwide not less appreciation....... when people feel they are noticed and of worth it can perk up flagging spirits........a compliment costs nothing to give and can make a grey day blue skies..... for someone who deserves to feel good about themselves regardless of what they look like.... attractive or not......find something to compliment a person about and just say it if you find them attractive or not.....be that change to someones day based on wanting to make someone feel good.......with no ulterior motive ...just simply to make them feel good........in turn.....i have always found to give a compliment makes me happy...i like to do it.....for no reason at all.........deb This. Exactly. 2
stillafool Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Actually they will probably like it if you don't comment on their looks. They already know they are goodlooking. It gets boring when someone goes on and on about how goodlooking you are.
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Depends on your motive. If you simply want to make somebody smile, compliments are a nice thing. If you are using it as an opening line, perhaps something more original. 5
darkmoon Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 they are not universally a good idea, too much limelight, too intrusive, unless you like the complimenter too, not easy to handle
ThaWholigan Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Nothing wrong with occasional and appropriate compliments but don't trip over your cock relaying epithets of how gorgeous she is ad infinitum - you'll look like a simp. Right now I'm trying to master the art of complimenting a woman without saying a word . 4
preraph Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 It's completely futile to use a compliment about looks as an opener or come-on. She's so sick of guys drooling over her. Doesn't mean you be mean. You just either wait until you have something else to talk to her about or keep your mouth shut. Briefly worked in retail with an amazon who looked like Christie Brinkley, blond, big busted, All American type. It was before anyone paid any attention to sexual harassment in the workplace. The night manager would just openly slobber over her to her face, staring at her chest the whole time, I guess thinking he was being charming by being so enamored of her breasts. He'd go up to her and act like he was having a hard time maintaining in the presence of her boobs and she'd look down on him with slitted eyes and say, "You worm." Unfortunately, it didn't deter him.
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I've heard that the more physically attractive a woman is, the less men should directly acknowledge this with compliments on her appearance. Any thoughts on this? Do you really believe that there are useful rules or strategies applicable to a thing like this? 1
Auspecial Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Don't say anything about their looks. Look for other things you like about them and tell them those things. 2
carhill Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I've heard that the more physically attractive a woman is, the less men should directly acknowledge this with compliments on her appearance. Any thoughts on this? I compliment as I feel appropriate, regardless of how the woman may be generally perceived. 3
SycamoreCircle Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 It makes no difference. As Satu pointed out---all this ridiculous strategizing men do, as if women were some kind of Rubik's Cube. Any person worth their salt will take a compliment for what it is. 5
Phoe Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I don't think it's something someone "should" or "shouldn't" do in the sense that it seems obligatory, but if someone feels compelled to compliment another person, I think that it's okay for them to do so, so long as it is done respectfully. 2
Auspecial Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 It makes no difference. As Satu pointed out---all this ridiculous strategizing men do, as if women were some kind of Rubik's Cube. Any person worth their salt will take a compliment for what it is. Yes, and no..... I always enjoy a compliment and I am grateful. Additionally have a long history of having a lot of unwanted attention based on what I was born with and not for who I am. I have wasted a great amount of time with people who had no other interest than physical aspects. If this makes me a Rubiks Cube, so be it. I didn't ask for it. I am much more than whatever dna combination happened upon me. 3
KatZee Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Of course attractive women should be complimented. Everyone has a story: can you say for certainty that you know every physically attractive woman's story? No. You don't. All you have in your head is this red pill, "alpha", player, BS generalization that attractive women are all bitches and skanks and that they need to be taken off a pedestal and that their egos are too big and blah blah blah. Attractive women are people. People like to be complimented. Most genuinely good people, attractive or not, will appreciate a compliment. There are TONS of attractive women out there, that if you looked at them, you would have NO clue that they were former nerdy, ugly ducklings, bullied individuals who struggled with teasing, struggled with making friends, struggled with confidence. *waves* I'm truly confused as to what the mindset is here. Attractive women aren't worthy of compliments? I don't get it. 2
MissBee Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I've heard that the more physically attractive a woman is, the less men should directly acknowledge this with compliments on her appearance. Any thoughts on this? I don't think any woman of substance wants a man who seems to be mostly enamored by her looks as the primary thing but I think avoiding any compliments altogether is another extreme. If we are dating of course I want you to compliment and tell me I'm beautiful, but over doing it will make it seem like that is all you care about and never saying anything will make it seem like you aren't attracted or are deliberately not doing it out of some weird motivation on your part, neither of which goes over well. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 As a man you've got to be careful with superficial compliments with women in general that you don't know, to avoid being pigeonholed as just interested in her for her looks, even though that's why you're looking at her...unless you are quite good looking. Especially since this is most guys go-to opener when they find a woman attractive...it's just not all that complimentary or flattering in the end. You have to avoid simply being another guy telling her how attractive she is. More attractive women, unlike men...tend to know when they're attractive because of the extra attention or special treatment they get when they're dolled up, it's something some women can take as an ego boost and a nose in the air kind of thing. Personally I avoid giving those women any attention whatsoever if their attitude sucks, but if they're actually kind and attractive then I wont necessarily compliment but I'll flirt. I think it also pays to be genuine and not just trying to pick her up, if it's done in good taste and not aggressive or predatory I don't think you'll have too many problems, but as a guy you have to be careful, there are those women that believe they are all that...so try to assess their attitude first, or you just add another strut to her step as she already thinks highly of herself. Avoid complimenting the average girl on her looks just for the sake of lifting her spirits, often times they are the worst at believing they are something out of this world even if you were just trying to make her feel better because she just seemed kind of average to you. I would advise men to use compliments sparingly unless you know the woman and have already broken the ice. It starts to work different after that stage.
SleekArchitecture Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Everyone enjoys a compliment unless there are some related internal issues going on. The more attractive you are, the harder people are on points about how good looking are you really, that they are not all that and people are much more critical. It is strange that it is that way, but attractive people get slammed much more than others.
SolG Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I like compliments :-) But compliments about my looks are my absolute least favourite. I much rather be complimented on a detail. My shoes, my scarf, my pendant... Or even better yet, the book I'm reading, what I'm eating, my choice of Scotch or wine, my scent... I appreciate these type of compliments far more, and find them far more flattering to boot. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 The most attractive woman I know doesn't seem to know or care how attractive she is. She works as a dental nurse at my local surgery and, saying this as a straight woman, getting a glimpse of her puts me in a good mood!! It's good fun seeing how the guys' eyes light up when they talk to her - and that's most male patients!! One time I was in there she was being complimented by a guy who was paying her all kinds of compliments and she didn't seem all that flattered. She just smiled politely and thanked him but she didn't look like she was enjoying the attention that much.
GemmaUK Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 every person on earth should be complimented......for who they are and appreciated for that..not merely the outer self they live in....it does no harm or foul to compliment any woman or man ...however ...some women and men are not used to being paid a compliment and dont know how to take it...... there should be more appreciation of people in general worldwide not less appreciation....... when people feel they are noticed and of worth it can perk up flagging spirits........a compliment costs nothing to give and can make a grey day blue skies..... for someone who deserves to feel good about themselves regardless of what they look like.... attractive or not......find something to compliment a person about and just say it if you find them attractive or not.....be that change to someones day based on wanting to make someone feel good.......with no ulterior motive ...just simply to make them feel good........in turn.....i have always found to give a compliment makes me happy...i like to do it.....for no reason at all.........deb Deb, If I could I would 'like' your post one million times over! Compliments should not be for gain, they should be sincere. Anyone who has been complimented for gain...knows it..body language etc is a tell all. Being complimented for gain really isn't that nice as it's a form of manipulation. There's a lady at work and she has by her own sentiments rubbish hair. She got a wig a couple of weeks ago..and she has been open about it and had compliments. I saw her today and she was talking to someone, I stuck around and waited to speak to her. She has a new wig - it's absolutely beautiful on her - the colour, style, everything - so I wanted to let her know. She left work tonight with the hugest grin! It was lovely to see! : 2
Quiet Storm Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Due to my Irish/Cherokee heritage I have an unusual combination of tan skin and blue eyes that I have always gotten compliments on for my entire life. My darker skin makes my eyes really stand out. I do appreciate the compliments, but since I have heard it so much, it always had more impact if I got a compliment about my personality, talents, accomplishments, etc. When I met my husband he said "Your eyes are so bright it looks like you have batteries in your head" , which stood out to me because it was funny and he made me laugh, unlike the usual "You have beautiful eyes & complexion". 3
GemmaUK Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 For the record.I love someone having a jokey dig at me too. In fact - I like it more! : I remember like it was yesterday that my Dad came home after seeing his friends. They had a few beers, Dad was early 60's. I was late teens. He got really upset that the guys had been joking at him. I gave him a massive hug, told him I loved him but also told him that those who never take the mickey out of you just don't love you. They don't notice you or don't want to interact with you. All the guys had been on at my Dad that day and he had joked along. He was just worried that they actually didn't like him. He was so very wrong. And yes - I checked - to make sure my thoughts were right. My Dad was adored by his mates..and I so love that! He listened to what I said and recalled banter after with me often. He ended up safe in the knowledge that he was indeed loved by far many more people than he really knew. He was just a lovely guy always, fun and friendly. I'm biased..but you can ask his friends.. 3
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