SleekArchitecture Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 The He Nevers are the things that your affair partner never did, that looking back you are pretty astonished you put up with. I have thought today that through the years he never once called me to just randomly talk and ask me how my day was. To check in for a chat. I look back and I get dread in my stomach that I ever wasted one minute of my life with a man like that. I do believe that I wasted my time on this because I was at throes end of a terrible marriage to a diagnosed malignant narcissist and was not ready to face the real world and date anyways. But there it is an embarrassing and degrading admission of what I put up with.
Auspecial Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 This wasn't an affair, but the last person I dated, I'm astonished that after he indicated that he was embarrassed by my lack of prestigious job, I actually went out with him once more. I guess I was a little dubious because he really was acting like he was into me. At this point I have told him its over but he still texts me every other day asking to see me, because he accepts me as I am. Gee wilikers, thanks.
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 This wasn't an affair, but the last person I dated, I'm astonished that after he indicated that he was embarrassed by my lack of prestigious job, I actually went out with him once more. I guess I was a little dubious because he really was acting like he was into me. At this point I have told him its over but he still texts me every other day asking to see me, because he accepts me as I am. Gee wilikers, thanks. That is so insulting. I am glad you gave him the quick boot. I should have many moons ago, although you can bet there were many times he asked to meet that I did not go and watched re runs or something else less exciting because I have always had a queasy feeling about the whole relationship.
bentleychic Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Ummm...I really don't have one. My only "he never" was "left his wife". lol 5
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Another never was gifts. He never bought me a gift. He more than has the funds. I have extraordinary taste, but he could have tried. That is another deal breaker. I really need to get into a great relationship, because the looking glass is making me pretty upset at myself for wasting so much time in such a dead end relationship.
cocorico Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 He never: * spoke badly of the BS. Or of anyone else. * lied. * made promises without keeping them. * let me feel I was anything short of his no. 1 priority. * let me down. * hurt me. * disappointed me. * neglected his kids. 3
lookingforclosure Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Ummm...I really don't have one. My only "he never" was "left his wife". lol I'm with you on that one hands down. I got small gifts, he also made things for me, fixed things for me Called or text to check in He Never followed through....
Ronnie33 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I don't have one either except he never made me any promises But it still hurts so bad 3
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 I am not sure his words met his actions, his actions met his words. There were times I said what we did was screwing and his look was that of confusion of why I said it, and he said no it is not that, it is more. But, than again, the actions, words, non action, it really became a huge burden to me. Near the end, I was completely exhausted, I told him nonchalant, I give you a hard time all the time, like a bad marriage, maybe more than a bad marriage, I complain and nag almost 90 percent of the relationship. I think you should find someone who is into this type of thing and he was, no thank you, well you know so and so seems like they would be into that, no thank you. I am just writing things that, rambles, I suppose. I am tired.
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 He never.... did anything but hurt me. They do tend to do that, don't they.
Doublegold Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 He never was anything but my best friend, passionate lover, and the kindest man I have ever met. I never was anything but his biggest supporter, confident, forever passionate and loving. Talk? We talked for hours and texted all day. I never called him, didn't have to. We emailed. Gifts, I have cherished gifts--and he has so many gifts from me, thank gosh he has an office. My gifts were so very special, one was created especially for him and I had it sent from another Country. Another gift I tracked to Switzerland and arranged With the establishment to have it brought back via a traveler since it involved a rare wine. (Couldn't import) Seeing one another-- we are an hour half apart yet we saw one another weekly. We traveled together, that was incredible. I have many wonderful memories of us.
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 He never was anything but my best friend, passionate lover, and the kindest man I have ever met. I never was anything but his biggest supporter, confident, forever passionate and loving. Talk? We talked for hours and texted all day. I never called him, didn't have to. We emailed. Gifts, I have cherished gifts--and he has so many gifts from me, thank gosh he has an office. My gifts were so very special, one was created especially for him and I had it sent from another Country. Another gift I tracked to Switzerland and arranged With the establishment to have it brought back via a traveler since it involved a rare wine. (Couldn't import) Seeing one another-- we are an hour half apart yet we saw one another weekly. We traveled together, that was incredible. I have many wonderful memories of us. That is a wonderful story, quite beautiful to share those special moments with a special person, the thoughts, and the love. It helps me to open my eyes to the facts. The facts that my own long engagement in my own affair was one that made up the worst of bad relationships. It was no where near that of which yours was truly a beauty. I have been writing down a list of nevers and may share them at some point. I am going to rest before yoga, to spiritually connect to good feelings apart from the pain and acceptance that I excepted the smallest morsels of breadcrumbs and am ashamed in myself.
Doublegold Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Thank you Sleek, it was nice to remember the love, TY for your kind words. Don't be too hard on yourself, for every day is a new way to make yourself content and you obviously are doing that by working on finding peace within. Please don't focus on the negative behavior he exhibited when looking at yourself. You obviously are an intelligent woman, and worthy of great love. Which starts with oneself. Find your peace. 1
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Thank you Sleek, it was nice to remember the love, TY for your kind words. Don't be too hard on yourself, for every day is a new way to make yourself content and you obviously are doing that by working on finding peace within. Please don't focus on the negative behavior he exhibited when looking at yourself. You obviously are an intelligent woman, and worthy of great love. Which starts with oneself. Find your peace. Thank you and I hope too!
Genieve Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 He never kept his word at the end of six years. He broke me. He told me he'd told her the truth. He didn't. He told me he wished he'd met me before her. He loved me and he will regret it for the rest of his life because HE NEVER had balls 1
Author SleekArchitecture Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 He never kept his word at the end of six years. He broke me. He told me he'd told her the truth. He didn't. He told me he wished he'd met me before her. He loved me and he will regret it for the rest of his life because HE NEVER had balls Are you open to sharing your story? It helps to write it down. 6 years is a long time and I understand the struggle.
Genieve Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 All I can say is that after every day contact for years including weekends and now lc... Or none right now. Since over ten days I don't know when I'll see him.. He said he'd come and didn't show which is really horrible. . I'm so empty and sad. He said he would never stop seeing me even when it all came out. I'm so destroyed. He's always there in my head. He was (is) like my male opposite. I tried to keep busy and do stuff but I'm falling into depression. The yearning is driving me to look for him sometimes and that's not good. I'm losing control through grief. We used to meet in regular places so I go there sometimes. Crazy really. I'm crying writing this so I'm going to stop.
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