Boyfriend of 1.3 years broke up with me. Think it might me due to fight with my dad??

[Princessm29]

So, i'm going to try to keep this as short as possible.

My dad is an extremely hard headed guy that can be a huge ******* most of the time, but I've never let if affect me. He comes from a family that has never struggled and owned their own business, so growing up I was spoiled (yes, I can admit that and i'm not proud) and today I still am. I've never been one to be a show off and all my friends respect that.

Anyway, two months after my boyfriend graduated college and moved back home, my dad thought he and I were becoming lazy together. We would always be hanging out and never applying for jobs, so one day my dad and I got in a fight about it and I did an awful, awful thing and invaded his privacy by reading his text messages to my mom the next day (i know this is such an awful thing to do...trust me). He was going on and on to my mom about how my boyfriend and I were so lazy and that he's really worried about us because he thinks my boyfriend doesn't have any motivation and that we are going to live a low-income life and be miserable. Technically, he was talking about the both of us, but I got so upset that I showed my boyfriend and he took it as it was all him. We got in a huge fight saying, which we didn't break up though but he went into a depression. A few days after the fight, I told my dad what I did and he was upset with me, but sent an apology text to my boyfriend, which he never got a response from.

Over the past two months, my boyfriend would never come to my house and always talked bad about my dad, but I just didn't say anything back. We got in fights here and there about stupid things from then on and still ended up not doing much with jobs even though we would set a side time a few days a week and study/apply (or at least I would while he was on netflix or didn't feel like it). This wasn't the boyfriend I originally knew because I know how hard of a worker he is and what he wants out of life. On our anniversary, he had a talk with me saying he wanted to patch things up with my dad but said he would still dislike the guy, which I was okay with.

Last week, we got in a huge fight on my birthday when we were drunk and he ended up breaking up with me 2 days later. He said we need to work on ourselves and he is just ready to be alone right now since our relationship was unhealthy the past two months.

I've been so upset that his mom reached out to me and we are really close so we met up yesterday. I told her my whole opinion on the situation with my dad and that that is where I think our relationship turned from good to bad. She agreed and said it had a big part in it. She said that his biggest fear in life is to end up like his parents and not being successful (his family is not poor at all, they are doing very well so I didn't understand) and that the thing with my dad just sent him downhill.

tl;dr: I don't want my boyfriend to throw away our relationship from the past 1.5 years because of this. We had talked about everything from moving together to marriage later on down the road. His family and his friends all agreed that I was so good for him and that I really turned his life around when we were together and I believe he did the same for me. Right now I know we need space, but is this something that people can overcome and come back closer?

[d0nnivain]

Your dad his a nerve.

 

Many relationships do not survive the transition from school to IRL. Your BF's statement that he needs to work on himself is valid. You two can't just "hang out" for the rest of your lives.

 

Being independent & not in a relationship may be the motivation he needs to move forward.

 

I would not chase him but I would make it clear that you are around if he wants to come back but you won't wait for ever. Take some time. Get your own life together. Get a job & then see where this. In his absence you may learn that you don't need him.

[WonderWoman911]

I think that it is something that people can overcome from. I didn't find anything your father saying to be disrespectful or abnormal. He was being honest based on his observations and he don't want you to lose focus in life and go downhill.He just wants the best for you and he don't want anyone to be a hindrance in your life. Your boyfriend pride may have gotten hurt, but Im sure that it's helping him to become more motivated for his life. Things should still be able to work out for the two of you,in my opinion.

[d0nnivain]

Your dad his a nerve.

 

That actually should have said dad HIT -- with a T -- a nerve.