wantnotshould Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 So, my ex still has stuff in my apartment. I packed most of it up. I get a text from a mutual friend that she wants to pick up her clothes. I unblock her. Tell her to go now. I will be home in 30 minutes. She takes an hour to pick up stuff. I'm waiting in my car on the other side of the building, to make sure that I don't see her. I tell her to hurry up. She then asks me if I could bring up the dog so that she can see it. I tell her that I'm not ready for that and to hurry up. She finally leaves. I get an "i'm sorry" text. She also wrote "I'm sorry on the whiteboard I have." and said she left a treat out for the dog. I texted her asking if I could throw out our mutual memories things (Cards, pictures, a scrap book, and little things that had sentimental value in our relationship) as I had told her to take them and she left them. She said she didn't have space in the car but not to throw it out. Right before I block her I get a text saying that she hoped I had fun at the festival that I was going to with some mutual friends. I got pissed and blocked her. I don't like that she knows what I'm doing, much less that she wishes me well. I already explained that I need space and time, yet the moment she has access to talking to me she keeps saying "I'm sorry". It pissed me off. I'm not sure exactly why. This was a couple of days ago. I contacted a mutual friend and asked her if she could pick up the rest of my ex's stuff and give it to her. This way I don't have to interact at all, which is what I should have done since the beginning. I thought I was almost over her. I felt good and wasn't thinking about her. I haven't cried in a while but today I woke up missing her. Wishing that she would beg me back so that I could be the one to say no, or at least not yet. I want to have a more fulfilling life than her, yet today I felt like I was the loser and she was the one in control. I don't know. I guess I'm just rambling. I don't know how to express this feeling right. I guess it (her texting me those things) made me feel like I was no longer in control and that really bothered me. I don't know. What do you guys think?
Toodaloo Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Stay no contact. Rub messages off of the white board. Redecorate the house, even if its just one or two rooms. Anything else left can go in the bin. I am sure you can pick up some old cards and letters and chuck them out yourself. She didn't have room so tough. Stop being dramatic and just stay away from her. Walk the dog and look after it. Good luck. 1
cat to be kitten me Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I'm in agreement with Toodaloo. No contact and throwing away the mutual stuff is going to be your best bet.
Author wantnotshould Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 There's still a lot of her **** here (4 years together). Granted it's in boxes, but I would be throwing out a lot of her valuables. I think I'll give it till the end of the week. If it's not picked up by then, then it goes in the dump. I tried re-decorating. But the set up in the apartment is off, so there isn't much change I can do. I changed the bed and a couple pieces of furniture around. The lease is over in may, so I'll be relocating. Any other tips?
sabd Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 This is why maintaining proper No Contact is so important. If the stuff hasn't been collected by the end of the weekend, dump it.
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 This might be the only time to break NC. If there really are important things she still needs to pick up then message her and say you need it gone asap and she has a week to pick it up otherwise you are going to have to bin it. Then thats all that needs to be said and go NC. The reason you hate her saying sorry is bcoz they feel guilty and they are saying sorry which pretty much means "sorry i cant be with you anymore". I felt the same and i was like why the eff do you need to keep reminding me you cant be with me..
KBarletta Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 There's still a lot of her **** here (4 years together). Granted it's in boxes, but I would be throwing out a lot of her valuables. I think I'll give it till the end of the week. If it's not picked up by then, then it goes in the dump. I tried re-decorating. But the set up in the apartment is off, so there isn't much change I can do. I changed the bed and a couple pieces of furniture around. The lease is over in may, so I'll be relocating. Any other tips? A couple more months and you'll be moving on to a new place, which will be good for you. I would stick to NC and absolutely not tell her where you are going. Get a friend to pick up her stuff. If they don't get it in a week, toss it. If she wants it that badly, she will find a way to get it. Do your best to focus on other things and other activities so you can keep your mind occupied and not on her. Spend time outside, with friends, away from the reminders of her.
BlueIris Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I'd drop it off at her friend's house rather than waiting for someone to pick it up. It's more proactive and all in your control then. It might feel better than waiting on other people.
Recommended Posts