Is it selfish to delete your ex off all social media accounts?

[jessgirl23]

Broke up with my ex because he was rotten enough to confess his love for me a week before valentines day, and then ignore me a couple days before valentines day. He didn't put in effort as much as I did and I had enough. I was stupid enough to try calling him on valentines day and texted him saying i was sorry and that i was needy and such (which i wasn't, but i was vulnerable on that day and felt like saying that to get him back/alcohol helped) I wasn't needy or clingy at all, no where near that. He never replied, so I went two weeks without texting him. He fell off the planet it seemed, he hadn't been on social media or anything since. I texted him and apologized saying that it was the biggest mistake i've made in a long time and asked if he could find it in himself to try again and a bunch of other stuff and nothing ... not even a no. Two weeks again and i've been vulnerable to text him but I know it's not worth it anymore. He's a coward and I need to find someone better. Is it selfish to delete them on social media? I still feel the need to check his social media accounts quite frequently, yet he never goes on. I still creep the pictures of me and him tagged, and i know thats not healthy ... but i feel like it's immature to delete an ex? whats everyone's opinions?

[darkbloom]

No. Deleting him will help you move on from him. If you're no longer in a relationship with him then it does not matter what he thinks.

 

Checking his social media will keep you stuck on him. If you truly want to move on, unfriend AND block. It really will set your mind at ease.

[dyna85]

Hell no, not selfish at all.

 

Is he caring about your feelings in this moment?

 

Do what's best for you.

 

I second darkbloom's sentiments.

[You Know You Know]

^^^^ Do exactly that.

 

I got dumped by a woman who I loved deeply a few years ago. She kept ignoring me so I decided to to check on her status on a certain web site. BIG MISTAKE. She had posted pics of her and another man on the beach in Florida. This was only 2 days after dumping me. I will never make that mistake again.

[jessgirl23]

^^^^ Do exactly that.

 

I got dumped by a woman who I loved deeply a few years ago. She kept ignoring me so I decided to to check on her status on a certain web site. BIG MISTAKE. She had posted pics of her and another man on the beach in Florida. This was only 2 days after dumping me. I will never make that mistake again.

 

Thing is, I dumped him .. but I want him back? no idea why ... just my heart telling me I do, but my mind is telling me that he's selfish and rotten for doing what he did since it felt like he was initiating the break up by going days without replying to a single text a day ...

[jessgirl23]

But thank you all so far for making me not feel bad for doing what i feel would help me. I need to focus on my well-being!

[organizedchaos]

But thank you all so far for making me not feel bad for doing what i feel would help me. I need to focus on my well-being!

 

Do a search here and you'll find countless threads all saying the same thing as you read here.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Selfish??? Nope. In fact I'd call it necessary in many cases. There's no law that dictates you must stay friends with an ex, even if just on social media and even if you're the dumper.

[carhill]

IMO, it's not selfish if it's done respectfully and with consideration for one's shared history, even if things didn't work out and ended. Of course, it can also be healthy to be selfish and not consider others in one's decisions. It all depends on circumstances.

 

Myself, due to a long shared history with my exW, I left up some of our shared memories as they involved others and were relevant to our social lives while married. TBH, I haven't looked at that stuff in years and don't even know for sure it's still out there. I met my exW's new boyfriend around the time we got divorced and she hasn't made any requests to delete anything in the years since so that's pretty much that. Even though we got a D, we had a number of good years of marriage and made some real life memories during that time, as most people do in life. I personally think it's fine to respect the good times and accept the relationship turned on the not so good times and ended. It's all part of life. We each handle it in our own way.

[chados]

he is probably reading up on things on the internet just like you. and everyone says no contact right? i mean i think he knows what you want and i think the best thing to do now since youve already told him is to take a deep breath and step back.. this would be the easy and safe way. if you feel that you want to settle this fast then i say go talk to him. dont text him to get him back. he more then likely wants you to come to his house and tell him how sorry you are even if he wants you back or not. you have to decide this yourself

[d0nnivain]

As others have said, it's not selfish. In fact I think it's healthy. That person is out of you real life. Why do you need him in your OL life?

 

You miss him because you liked being part of a couple. Your head knows you did the right thing, so keep listening to your head. It's OK to mourn the loss of the connection even if you are the one who broke up.

[Trimmer]

IMO, it's not selfish if it's done respectfully and with consideration for one's shared history, even if things didn't work out and ended. Of course, it can also be healthy to be selfish and not consider others in one's decisions. It all depends on circumstances.

 

Myself, due to a long shared history with my exW, I left up some of our shared memories as they involved others and were relevant to our social lives while married. TBH, I haven't looked at that stuff in years and don't even know for sure it's still out there. I met my exW's new boyfriend around the time we got divorced and she hasn't made any requests to delete anything in the years since so that's pretty much that. Even though we got a D, we had a number of good years of marriage and made some real life memories during that time, as most people do in life. I personally think it's fine to respect the good times and accept the relationship turned on the not so good times and ended. It's all part of life. We each handle it in our own way.

Although for perspective, if he first "confessed his love" in early February, and then things were already coming apart within a week after that, I don't know that they really had much of a shared history - or even much of a relationship, measured in days? - to hold in reverence.

 

OP - I think you are entitled (and as some point out, it may be almost essential) to delete/block him on social media. This whole idea that you should stay friends, and that it's somehow automatically immature to block someone is weird. Once it's over, it's over. Block if it helps.

 

It almost sounds like you didn't classically "dump" him - if I'm reading this right, he told you he loved you when the relationship was still going normally, then pretty soon after, he started to ignore you, and then you decided to end the relationship as a result of that... Was that the sequence? If that's the case, it's not like you "dumped" him out of the blue - just a semantic point, I know, but it's not quite the same as a lot of "dumper/dumpee" situations. It sounds like he passively left the relationship (by ignoring you) leaving you to be the one to make it official... But let me know if I'm misinterpreting.

[jessgirl23]

Although for perspective, if he first "confessed his love" in early February, and then things were already coming apart within a week after that, I don't know that they really had much of a shared history - or even much of a relationship, measured in days? - to hold in reverence.

 

OP - I think you are entitled (and as some point out, it may be almost essential) to delete/block him on social media. This whole idea that you should stay friends, and that it's somehow automatically immature to block someone is weird. Once it's over, it's over. Block if it helps.

 

It almost sounds like you didn't classically "dump" him - if I'm reading this right, he told you he loved you when the relationship was still going normally, then pretty soon after, he started to ignore you, and then you decided to end the relationship as a result of that... Was that the sequence? If that's the case, it's not like you "dumped" him out of the blue - just a semantic point, I know, but it's not quite the same as a lot of "dumper/dumpee" situations. It sounds like he passively left the relationship (by ignoring you) leaving you to be the one to make it official... But let me know if I'm misinterpreting.

Yes you are exactly right. It felt like he didn't want to be the bad guy and be the dumper, so he did the ignoring to make me do the work so I LOOK like the bad guy .. when in reality, I don't feel like I was the dumper .. since I never got a response back, and since he did all the ignoring before, I feel like the dumpee which results to how hard it has been to moving on.

[na49]

I'm going to say no. If it is selfish, then I am extremely selfish. I don't only have my ex blocked on Facebook, but I have a lot of her friends blocked.

[jessgirl23]

Three weeks passed since I asked for another chance to try again and no text from him. Last night he ended up snapchatting me a video of him and his friends and then was on instagram and uploaded a picture but still kept the one of me and him up. I don't know what to think? I don't want to see snapchats from him since it's hard.

[OneBigIdgit]

that sounds like he wants to make you feel bad. I'd block him from any chance of contact with you