loveweary11 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Some general musings now that I got rid of the girl that was living with me. She made a lot of complaints, which really got me thinking.... What is it people want from relationships? Time and time again, i hear women talking about wanting their man to make them happy. That if he's not making them happy, there is something wrong. Can't people be happy to begin with, then enter a relationship to enjoy time and companionship together? Why do we need to work hard at making the other person happy, especially given they are unhappy entering the relationship? It's a lot of effort i put in. Cleaning, cooking, doing dishes, entertaining her, making sure she wasn't bored, sexual pleasing. Why? Why do we need to do all of that at all? I seem to feel a lot more happy without someone to work myself to the bone to please while they remain ungrateful and unhappy. Why do we look to relationships, and more importantly, to a parter to bring happiness? Why isn't there happiness without, then an added bonus of someone to share things with? 1
Gloria25 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Well, maybe it's the girl that you were dating who had issues... While life is sweeter when you have someone to share it with, some people look towards another person as their sole sense of happiness - in other words, they have no life. Also, maybe you were being too nice. Treating someone well is good, but when you do for someone w/o them "earning their keep" and/or reciprocating, they take you for granted and may even become abusive cuz they figure you're "o'l faithful". And lastly (where I'm gonna get flamed), some women are just nit-pickers. They turn their "man" into their "boy" and wanna put him on curfew, bych and whine, and pick, pick, pick. What do I want in a RL? Sex and companionship (occasional movie, dinner, outing) with one guy. I don't want kids and already got my house and white picket fence, thank you. 1
Dybbuk Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 What do I expect in a relationship...? I want a partnership. Meaning I want my BF and I to work together toward happiness, stability, and mutual respect. Relationships are work. Meaning yes, sometimes you have to go the extra mile to make someone happy, BUT you shouldn't do things out of obligation or because they make you... you should do it because you want to. Giving them happiness should make you happy. Also, I notice sometimes men and women are so desperate for wanting to 'keep a relationship' they allow themselves to become doormats and jump through all kinds of hoops to keep their partner 'happy' even at the expense of their own happiness. That's not a partnership, it's all one sided. There needs to be mutual respect. Men and women shouldn't belittle or nag their partners. Appreciate what your partner does for you, even if they are imperfect. Do not nitpick on how he/she could have done it better. That's a sure fire way to drive someone away. Learning how to ask someone to do something without criticizing, name calling or ridiculing and demanding the same treatment is a giant step toward a healthy relationship. 2
Auspecial Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I want a relationship that doesn't feel like work. That takes two people with the same mindset of having a peaceful and symbiotic co-existence that meets each others needs. 2
Otter2569 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 How much does emotional stability play into this? I am self confident, emotionally stable and not afraid to share my feelings. Since I am comfortable with myself and treat everyone with respect I also wont take much ****. My GF is much more emotional, insecure at times, is working through past relationship issues. She can get angry when she loses her temper. She is very fun and loving too but the roller coaster of emotions is taking a toll on me.
Got it Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I want a relationship/partnership where we have each other's back and we are doing things/wanting to do things, to speak the other person's "language". We meet each other's needs while maintaining what is reasonable and fair. We forgive each other for our humanness and understand (and I get people don't want this) that relationships do take work and needs constant nurturing. We both work on how we fight and make sure we fight fairly and constructively. Sorry folks but you get what you put in. If you expect a relationship to coast you are in for a rude awakening years down the road.
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