Rosa Tamora Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I met a guy in 2011 and we went on one date, but timing was bad because he just went through a divorce. Anyway, we remained friendly then lost touch, until I ran into him again while I was surfing in 2012. Again, bad timing because he had a girlfriend then, but I suspect he wasn't into because he was flirting with me but I stayed away because he has a gf. I didn't want any extra drama! Fast forward 3 years later, I emailed him to say hi and he wrote back almost immediately. We are both single. I have a child. I tell him i have a child and then I don't hear from him for 2 weeks, then out of the blue he contacts me and asks me to go out for coffee. So we meet for an hour, then we hang out again the next day in a park and I bring my child with me. Then we have a dinner and movie in (he cooked me dinner). Then he had a busy week with spotty communication with me. He apologized for seeming "aloof" and said he felt bad he hadn't been in touch as he was busy with work (he has to find another job in 2 months) but told me "You've been on my mind" and we made plans to meet again. We had another 2 dates after that. So total of 5 dates. The 5th date we got kinda physical. I didn't sleep with him though. Then he cancelled the 6th date after running a 5K saying he was exhausted. I said ok, call me when you want to hangout again. I got nothing for the whole week. Not even a "hello". I emailed him after 5 days and asked how the job hunt was going. Got nothing. Finally I was like "ok, you're probably super busy or stressed with work stuff or changed your mind, but I'd like to at least stay friends because i think you're a good person and it'll be nice to have more people to surf with". And still nothing. lol! I don't hold ill thoughts towards him and I think I made that clear. But after 5 dates and talks about hanging out in April for the Game of Thrones season premier (lol) and talks about photography trips etc, I kind of feel weird that he's just gone silent. We're bound to run into each other again because we have a friend in common and we run in the surfing circuit. I mean, I don't know if I said something to piss him off? Or is he hyper focused on finding a new job and trying not to end up unemployed? He told me he was struggling financially. I get that he's probably lost interest in pursuing this, but after I reach out and say hey it's cool, we can be friends, why so aloof? And why tell me you're so excited that we both are into drawing and photography and surfing...and then...nothing? Meh. It's kind of rude.
preraph Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 He lost interest. Who knows why. Could be another woman. Could be because you didn't sleep with him. Could be because he doesn't want to date someone with kids for longer than it takes to get laid. Could be he's having any other personal crisis. None of these things would incapacitate him to where he couldn't return your text. So he's done. 2
Author Rosa Tamora Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 Yeah. Probably. I think he shouldn't have made that effort of talking about things months down the road. Seems a little silly.
coryreply Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 There's no telling what he's thinking at this point. Preraph already listed what would have been my assumptions. Something else to consider, men can freak out when things start to get real, particularly if they've been hurt before in a serious relationship (women do too for that matter). He may have pulled himself away in an effort to keep from getting hurt. How old is your child? I would use caution when bringing guys you're dating around your child. It can be pretty confusing to them, especially as they get a little older.
Author Rosa Tamora Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 He's a year old. But yes, I agree with what you say regarding my son. I have 2 hearts to protect now, not one. 1
Author Rosa Tamora Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 Guess it's time I get busy too looking for someone more worthwhile!! :laugh:
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