Hopeful30 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Sexual encounters don't count. By single I mean a relationship.
soyou Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 My longest single time is 1.5 year. Why do you want to know this if I may ask?
Starship Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Since an adult...3 months. I'm just not the single type. 6 years ago I ended my second relationship. After 2 months, went on Match and found my current wonderful guy within two weeks. I'm always a partner. One of a pair. It's my identity....somebody's girlfriend. Been like this since high school a million years ago. All the 'independent and happy ' stuff is for others, not me. 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 My longest single time is 1.5 year. Why do you want to know this if I may ask? Curiousity really. I've been single for about 2 years, and I didn't realize it until someone had asked. Was wondering what the trend was for others as well.
neowulf Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 For those who've been long term single (3 years plus maybe?), are you at all concerned that being single so long as lead to adaptions that stand in the way of forming relationships? I'm always nervous about being single too long, because I fear that after some point, I'll just stop caring about trying to find a relationship.
mightycpa Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Sexual encounters don't count. By single I mean a relationship.By single, do you really mean the LACK of a relationship? In other words, how long have people gone without a serious relationship? My longest stretch was from birth to 16. After that, no more than six months at a time, usually a lot shorter, although sometimes I acted like I wasn't attached. You must be having a serious dry spell to be asking such a question.
carhill Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 If by single, one isn't socializing with, dating, having relations with, being in a relationship with, or being married to a romantic partner, I'd have to say the longest period has been since April of 2010, about six months prior to my D being final, when I gave up dating the ladies I had been seeing and moved on in life. Even as a young man, a virgin for many years, I socialized with women, dated, had a few girlfriends and didn't feel truly 'single'. Others definitions may differ. IME, hence, the longest has been about five years.
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 Do any of you feel nervous about getting into a relationship after having been single for so long? I feel like I'm getting more and more nervous around men I like because it's been so long that I've actually been intimate with a man (in my case I haven't had sex in a while as well, thank god not 2 years though lol) I feel like the longer I am single, the rustier I get with men.
carhill Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Nervous? Not really. More at peace and calm about the way things really are rather than how I might like them to go. I tended to go long periods between sexual partners because they were also relationship partners or my spouse but never felt 'rusty'. Perhaps I was simply oblivious, IDK, but I tended to view sex as an expression of love rather than an activity so it never was 'use it or lose it'. Since there are always plenty of women around, mostly married but a few not, to flirt with, the requisite social skills can always be exercised. Without any self-imposed pressure to perform, it's become a bit of fun.
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Back when I was 22, I dated a girl for a few weeks. She was the first girl I ever kissed. Then I was single from then on until 31 when I was in a relationship that lasted six months. Now I've been single again for about one year and four months. No, I'm not nervous at all about being single. Simply because being single is my natural state. It's what I'm used to. Not that I enjoy it mind you. Life just goes on. Hopefully I'll meet another girl who will take a chance on me like my ex did.
Dybbuk Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 If we say that by age 15, people usually start 'dating/get a BF or GF'... then I was single for 12 years. Didn't have my first real relationship and boyfriend until I was 27 years old. No BF in high school, college, or the first 5 years out of college. No sex either. Surprisingly, I didn't really mind it. Learned how to be self sufficient and independent. Set goals and achieved them. Got myself together financially and emotionally. Made friends, cultivated hobbies, and learned how to enjoy the 'single life'.
Erised Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 If dating counts, I'm not sure. Not very long. If it's only relationship, then going on 1.25 years since I was 13 and started dating. This is by choice. I have needed it so I've turned down relationship requests.
Buddhist Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 For those who've been long term single (3 years plus maybe?), are you at all concerned that being single so long as lead to adaptions that stand in the way of forming relationships? I'm always nervous about being single too long, because I fear that after some point, I'll just stop caring about trying to find a relationship. Not concerned. I was five years single and still paired up after that. I am planning on being eternally single now though because I do enjoy single life and partnered life is always more of a chore for me than a pleasure. It's an individual thing I think. 3
Buddhist Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Do any of you feel nervous about getting into a relationship after having been single for so long? I feel like I'm getting more and more nervous around men I like because it's been so long that I've actually been intimate with a man (in my case I haven't had sex in a while as well, thank god not 2 years though lol) I feel like the longer I am single, the rustier I get with men. No. I was celibate for the entire 5yrs of my previous singledom and still approached and felt confident around men. To be honest I was a bit frustrated that he beat around the bush so much and seemed to lack confidence around me.
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 Wow, so many years. Is it by choice? Or did it happen that way? And those of you who prefer singlehood, is it because you enjoy being alone? Or because its easier because you dont have to deal with drama and craziness? For me personally its the latter.
Buddhist Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Both for me. I am a recluse anyway, but occassionally let another person in. But then they usually cause all sort of drama for me that make me regret that decision later. I find in general that people are just too crazy and ****ty to bother with on a long term basis. I need breaks from it.
Jethro Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Going on 3 years for me. Plenty of sex but no relationship. Just not happening right now.
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