fitnessfan365 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) Dating is a lot like sales. So 9/10 any type of maybe, is a polite no. But I'm curious, has anyone ever gotten a date off a "I'll think about it" before? Exchanged three emails with a girl on OKC. She flirted heavily, asked questions, and we both got each other laughing. So I brought up getting together for ice cream and asked for the number. Got the typical "I'll think about it" followed by a "But I love ice cream so I'll probably give it to you." Since I have no desire to sit around and wait, I gave my number and told her to text me so I'd have hers with no pressure. Then she sends a paragraph and a half back going on and on about how much fun she had, that she appreciates me not putting any pressure on her since it's online, etc.. Then she told me her name without me asking. This is usually a sign a woman wants to get to know you better.So this was the first "maybe" that seemed relatively genuine. But I'm not holding out hope either. Edited March 10, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Well, I've agreed to a date after I'll think about it, if that helps.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 Well, I've agreed to a date after I'll think about it, if that helps. Good to know. Guess that makes you a 10%'er. As I said, this had some mixed signals. She said 'I'll think about it" but then says she'll probably give it to me. I give her mine so there's no pressure to which she either could have not responded or given a short form response. However, she wrote a pretty long response back with more flirts, emoticons, and stressing how much fun she had. Not to mention telling me her name. That to me seems a bit overkill for politely blowing someone off. However, I am a realist and in most cases it's usually a no.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 If I get mixed signals like that, I'd just give them my number and tell them to let me know - no pressure. 2
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 If I get mixed signals like that, I'd just give them my number and tell them to let me know - no pressure. Great minds man. That's exactly how I handled this. It's not like I don't get a woman POV online. She has never seen you and only has a few emails to go on. So needing time to think has a bit more weight online then real life approaching. Maybe if I had the patience to exchange 5 emails instead of 2 or 3, I'd get more definite yes's because I created a higher comfort level. However, when I see something I want, I cut to the chase and go for it.
deathandtaxes Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 An 'I'll think about it response' is a bs response. Means you're not interesting enough or she has more options and you're below those. Also means she's too polite to give a firm no. How many messages to get her name? I wouldn't cal that special in itself. I wouldn't give my phone number to a lady who said I'll think about it. I would next her so fast.
Gary S Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 If you would have asked for her number, you would have known within 24... now you are going to be waitin' by the phone like a little girl
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 If you would have asked for her number, you would have known within 24... now you are going to be waitin' by the phone like a little girl Haha.. Hardly man. I've already got other dates lined up for this week so I have plenty of options. Besides, where's the harm in giving her my number? If she's a 10%'er and reaches out, great. If not, no big loss. This was just the first "maybe" I've ever gotten with so many mixed signals. Usually an "I'll think about it" blow off is really short and to the point.
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Nope. Women who aren't eager to meet never follow through.
Gary S Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Haha.. Hardly man. I've already got other dates lined up for this week so I have plenty of options. Besides, where's the harm in giving her my number? If she's a 10%'er and reaches out, great. If not, no big loss. This was just the first "maybe" I've ever gotten with so many mixed signals. Usually an "I'll think about it" blow off is really short and to the point. - Good for you!
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Nope. Women who aren't eager to meet never follow through. ^^Yup... not to be a downer but my guess is she won't call. But if YOU called HER in a few days, I bet she'd go. ff, I thought you said you were persistent in the beginning? What you're doing is not persistent, it's sort of wimping out IMO.... take charge man! Get her number and call her in a few! 2
Gary S Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 ^^Yup... not to be a downer but my guess is she won't call. But if YOU called HER in a few days, I bet she'd go. ff, I thought you said you were persistent in the beginning? What you're doing is not persistent, it's sort of wimping out IMO.... take charge man! Get her number and call her in a few! - Yes, usually the ladies want the man to the first call at least. I always ask for their number, if they don't give it to me first. I never hand out my number, that's lame.
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 - Yes, usually the ladies want the man to the first call at least. I always ask for their number, if they don't give it to me first. I never hand out my number, that's lame. Totally agree. I like a man who takes charge...who knows what he wants and not afraid to go after it. Most other women do too. ff, she sent you some strong signals she's interested. Her "I'll think about it" was her being coy, that:s all. I thought you knew women! Don't wimp out now..take a risk! I mean is she worth it or not?
Dybbuk Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 As a woman I have used the "Let me think about it line" and that's exactly what I did. I thought about it. One guy (because he did what you did and didn't put pressure on me) I agreed to a few dates with him. I take it seriously if I'm going to invest some time/effort on going on a date with someone. I also don't like wasting other guy's time if I'm not sure about them. You did the right thing. You reached out, asked for the number, she fed you that line, and instead of getting butthurt/asking WHY/or other nonsense, you threw the ball in her court and are making her meet you halfway. If she reaches out to you then move forward, if not then no loss! You have other ladies to meet.
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 As a woman I have used the "Let me think about it line" and that's exactly what I did. I thought about it. One guy (because he did what you did and didn't put pressure on me) I agreed to a few dates with him. I take it seriously if I'm going to invest some time/effort on going on a date with someone. I also don't like wasting other guy's time if I'm not sure about them. You did the right thing. You reached out, asked for the number, she fed you that line, and instead of getting butthurt/asking WHY/or other nonsense, you threw the ball in her court and are making her meet you halfway. If she reaches out to you then move forward, if not then no loss! You have other ladies to meet. Dybbuk, with the guy who did what fitnessfan did...did YOU contact him after you thought about it? Or did HE contact you a few days later, allowing you time to think about it? Just curious.
Bobbi7 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 "I'll think about it" usually means no. What is there to think about? I asked a similar question and the guy said, "I'll think about."The majority of the people on here, told me that he meant, "NO." So, I don't know why people on here are telling you that she's interested.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 ^^Yup... not to be a downer but my guess is she won't call. But if YOU called HER in a few days, I bet she'd go. ff, I thought you said you were persistent in the beginning? What you're doing is not persistent, it's sort of wimping out IMO.... take charge man! Get her number and call her in a few! Haha.. Katie you cracked me up. I guess you missed the part where I asked for her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I got the "I have to think about giving my number out online, but since I love ice cream you'll probably get it." I mean how do you respond to that? It's not like I can insist and badger her into giving me her number. I'm also not going to keep chasing after her sending emails to follow up. So the best way in that situation was to give my number and let her follow up. Granted, I give it less than 10% of happening, but that's how it played out.
Dybbuk Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 @katiegrl: We stayed in contact via email. Mostly short emails with the typical 'get to know you questions'. He asked for a date, I told him I would think about it, and afterward we traded emails for a few days, and then I felt comfortable enough meeting. So in one of my emails I said something to the effect of "I thought about it, and I would like to go out on a date if you're still up for it?" He agreed and set up the date. He gave me time to think about it, but he didn't bring it up again in conversation.
PogoStick Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 That didn't' sound like a "maybe" It sounded like she's interested and being playful. That or she's a bich who just likes ice cream.
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 "I'll think about it" usually means no. What is there to think about? I asked a similar question and the guy said, "I'll think about."The majority of the people on here, told me that he meant, "NO." So, I don't know why people on here are telling you that she's interested. As a woman, sometimes I need time to figure out how I feel. Also, many women use that line as sort of a test to see how a guy will respond. If he's cool with it, and checks back with me in a few days, that can make all the difference. His doing that shows me he is confident and not easily discouraged and that he's really interested. I am one of those chicks whose interest level increases....the more he shows me HE is interested... p.s. Fully expecting to get beat up now for my "it's a test" comment. LOL
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Calling fitnessfan....ff you around? Hmmmm....perhaps he is out with her as we speak!!!
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Haha.. Katie you cracked me up. I guess you missed the part where I asked for her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I got the "I have to think about giving my number out online, but since I love ice cream you'll probably get it." I mean how do you respond to that? It's not like I can insist and badger her into giving me her number. I'm also not going to keep chasing after her sending emails to follow up. So the best way in that situation was to give my number and let her follow up. Granted, I give it less than 10% of happening, but that's how it played out. Oops just saw this!! I guess you are around after all...
katiegrl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Haha.. Katie you cracked me up. I guess you missed the part where I asked for her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I got the "I have to think about giving my number out online, but since I love ice cream you'll probably get it." I mean how do you respond to that? It's not like I can insist and badger her into giving me her number. I'm also not going to keep chasing after her sending emails to follow up. So the best way in that situation was to give my number and let her follow up. Granted, I give it less than 10% of happening, but that's how it played out. You know what? You're right I did miss that...my bad. Had a rough day, what can I say....
Dybbuk Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 @FF: You can take this advice with a grain of salt since I might be atypical, but generally I say what I mean. If I say I am going to think about it, I'm just trying to be sure that I want to invest that time and effort to meet... and as a courtesy to the guy not waste his time either. Nothing worse than saying yes to a date with a guy you're 'iffy' on and within the first 10 minutes figure out you're not interested, and awkwardly insisting to pay for your half of the date. If she didn't say no, and is still trying to communicate with you then I wouldn't count her as completely 'disinterested'. If she does reach out after some thought and you're still interested then get the ice cream. If she doesn't, oh well. Flakey behavior comes in all forms, but sometimes sincerity still exists out there and "I'll think about it" really means I'm thinking about it.
SearchingForMyself Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 You know what? You're right I did miss that...my bad. Had a rough day, what can I say.... Katiegirl...you like Italian? how about Italian with me? I like your spunk. You've piqued my interest.
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