mongoose2236 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 So growing up I had 3 best friends Lizzie, Andy, and Shawn. Lizzie and Andy always had a thing and everybody knew they would end up together. Shawn and I also had a thing but I never thought it was anything but a friends with benefits type of thing. Both of us have always had trouble with commitment. Anyways i'm now married with 3 step-kids. I love my kids more than anything. I love my husband and he's the perfect guy but i'm not sure if i'm "in love" with him. Shawn is also married with a baby. And I absolutely loved his wife until recently. I haven't seen Shawn in years. I've become friends with his wife through Lizzie but Shawn, like me, is a bit of a workaholic so I never saw him until recently. So about 6 months ago Shawn came out with some of my friends and I. It was just like old times instantly..We've always been those friends who are always hugging/ walking with our arms around each other. Just weird stuff like that and i'm not a touchy affectionate person at all. Once we got back to the place we were staying we ended up cuddling on the couch and talking all night. Although our friend who was with us doesn't think we did anything wrong it is not appropriate for two married people to cuddle, at all. And like I stated earlier I'm not affectionate, I don't cuddle. He's the only guy I have ever falling asleep in his arms.. Anyways I haven't talked to him since then. And I can't stand his wife anymore. I get so jealous when she talks about him. I never realized until that night that I love him in a way i've never loved my husband. Nobody knows except for the one friend who was with us that night. Yesterday Lizzie told me that her and Andy always thought Shawn and I would end up together. I honestly never thought he meant that much to me until that night and now I can't stop thinking about him and feeling guilty for not feeling the same for my husband. We both have built our lives with other people.
preraph Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 This is easy. Your old problem was commitment, for both of you. If you both left your spouses and got together, your problem would still be commitment, because you've both still got commitment problems or you wouldn't be cuddling. All you'd do is ruin some good old memories by cheating on each other. Neither of you could ever be able to trust the other because you both know you do it.
minimariah Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 seek IC immediately, get yourself together, focus on your husband & marriage & YOU and let go of this silly childhood fantasy about a dude you didn't see for YEARS.
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