rachell1992 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 hello, I have been reading a lot of your posts and have decided to make my own thread. I am so sorry this is so long! Here goes nothing, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, I moved in with him. when we started dating everything was fine.. I knew he had a bad past life due to his mom passing and his dad taking his own life and leaving him and his brother by themselves. so due to that he has some issues, and has never gotten help for it. we get into arguments, but who doesn't? when we due argue he likes to throw low blows and makes me feel like ****.. but then after he apologizes but doesn't think it should bother me. for the past couple months his friend has been coming over almost every single night.. it annoys me.. we don't have any time together, and when I say something he tells me well maybe I don't want to be with you every second of the day.. which I understand but every night?.. it has taken a toll on our sex life also. so the past month he told me that he needed a break because he just wanted to see if he could be fully committed to me and that he likes "new" things. so I had enough respect for myself and left. but I was still sleeping there sometimes. that lasted around a week. then I found out he did hang out with this girl at the bar who he had been thinking about. I flipped out. he flipped out... threw my clothes ripped some of them.. I called the cops bevause he wasn't allowing me to get my clothes he just kept telling me to leave.. but with my clothes everywhere what was I going to do? so now hes blaming this whole thing on me because its my fault that I called the cops and I messed with his head about it. hes being very selfish and now caring that its bothering me too. he has his ups and downs, one day hes so mean, next day hes sending me pictures of us and our dog.. he also told me that I am the one he wants to be with and he had to go make sure that he could fully commit to me.. I just feel like that's not fair to me.. I told him the only way I would ever consider working on things was is he went to anger management. he agress but I don't believe hes serious.. I am so lost right now, I have the worst anxiety and I cant even eat.
coryreply Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's not easy. I'll be praying for you today. Your BF has gone through so much trauma in his past. There's no question that it has effected him deeply. It sounds like he may be functioning out of that pain and grief in his past. He needs to get help. He needs to talk through all of this and find inner peace for his life. He's probably not open to hearing this from you right now, but how do you think he would respond to the suggestion to go to counseling? Would you be willing to go with him?
spiderowl Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 He may be reacting to all the past pain; on the other hand, it may just be the way he is. He is not in a place to have a relationship at the moment. If you get back with him, it will all start again because he wasn't respecting you or caring for you. Take time to recover from this unhappy time and move on when you are ready to someone who doesn't need to undo all his past hurts. Sounds hard, I know, but you don't know what's behind his behaviour really and it might continue even with therapy.
Recommended Posts