winnie10 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Hi, I'm not going to completely bore you with every minute detail of my broken relationship, but I just want some answers if anyone's ever been in the same boat as me....Basically my ex asked for a break as we weren't getting on great, we constantly bickered, I knew I could be very jealous as well as she could. I was very arrogant and almost tried to be an idiot at times. I also was a complete tool when I'd been out drinking with her. We were together over 3 years and and less than two weeks ago she decided on a break which has now turned in to the inevitable SPLIT. This is going to sound extreme and dramatic but my heart has been split in two and the guilt and anxiety going over me is unbearable. I really have never experienced anything like this and I can honestly say I genuinely think she is the one, I feel I'm too blame for the whole relationship ending and the guilt is eating away at me. I've decided to go no contact for my own sanity but it's almost unbearable not being able to talk/text her. Please tell me this will get better because it's honestly ruining my life at the moment, it's a struggle to get out of bed in the morning for work as the anxiety is that bad. She's also the only thing I think about 24/7.
Ruby65 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Yes, it will get better. Keep posting, try to keep calm.
erklat Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 She's not. If she was she would pull out from you other than jealousy and bickering. You're in survival mode, panic and anxiety are a result of your survival instincts, but if you're already in NC than you, compared to myself and a lot of people here, are one step ahead.
sabd Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 It will get better, promise. She's obviously had enough of the bickering and your arrogance, etc and wanted out. You definitely played your part in the breakup but don't absorb all the blame and guilt, that's not going to get you anywhere. Realise that your behaviour was a problem and use your No Contact time productively to fix it. In the meantime, just know that time and some work on your part will help enormously. It DOES get better.
Light Breeze Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 You'll get better, just keep NC. Keep strong and ride out the crisis phase. Work out, keep busy, do some hobbies. Good luck brother.
KBarletta Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Yes, it will get better. You are very early on in your grief. You can help it get better, or you can make it worse, based on what you do next. I would tell you the following based on my personal experience: 1. Stick to NC at this stage. Be strict. No checking social media, no looking through old photos, etc. Box up all reminders of her and put them out of sight. Block and delete social media connections. Resist the urge to call/text/email. At this point, it will only do you harm. 2. You need to actively try to focus on other things. Projects you can throw yourself into. Home, car, work, etc. What can you do that will take your mind off of this heartbreak for a few hours? Do it, as much as possible. It will help clear your head. Added bonus: You will accomplish something besides sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. 3. Talk to people, express your feelings. Seek out friends and family. If you are able, see a therapist. Join a support group. Talk to a clergy member. Keep a journal. When in doubt, post here. All of these things will help you sort out your thoughts and emotions and ease the burden of carrying them around all the time. 4. Take care of yourself. Eat right, drink lots of water, work out, get a good amount of sleep. Try to stay away from drinking and smoking to excess, which is an easy trap to fall into. Be your own best friend. Treat yourself as such. 5. You already admitted you made mistakes in the relationship. Rather than focusing on blaming yourself, use these as lessons and try to become a better person. Whatever you don't like about yourself, change it. Look up the "180" and try to employ that in your life. If you are unhappy with who you were when you were with her, actively make yourself better. 1
Recommended Posts