spiderowl Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 If he never agreed with you that you were both exclusive, he can't really expect you to be the exclusive girlfriend. Having said that, guys are sexually possessive so, to them, it doesn't matter whether exclusivity has been agreed or not, the girl should be. In fact, exclusivity is a bit of a con in some ways. What you are agreeing to is not sleeping with anyone else: it doesn't mean he is in a relationship with you or that he sees you as his girlfriend, just that you are not allowed to share your body with another guy while he is having sex with you. It might have been better to have a calm talk with him (yes, I know, easier said than done) and if he wouldn't be exclusive, to tell him you are no longer having sex with him or in a relationship with him. What you did instead was passive aggressive and he reacted in an aggressive way too. Both of you got wound up. But, it has brought the truth to the surface so it served a purpose. He is hurt now and hitting back. He thinks if he demotes you, you will come running back and apologise. Well, he can't demote you unless you allow it. You don't have to be his FWB. You can refuse to have anything to do with him unless he wants a proper relationship with you. In fact, if you respond by telling him this, without any drama or ifs or buts, just as a fact, he will know where he stands. He might not accept your terms but if you don't put them in front of him, he is at a loss as to what he is dealing with. I wouldn't be too upset about his comments, he is acting from hurt and anger, which shows you matter to him.
Author jebrooks1988 Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 If he wants a relationship, he doesn't want to hear about other guys. Normal. If you are only FWB, he looks at you like he would a blowup doll, something to stick his pecker in occasionally and get off. He cares not a bit for your or his feelings. You are not supposed to care about the feelings of FWB. That's the whole point; you are just something to pork. He gets it and you do not. Women tend to develop feelings for men they sleep with, even if they try not to. Basic human biology. Simple. Well I had slept with him for the first time only a few days before the whole seeing/ignoring him at the bar incident then after not hearing from him for a week I reached out to him, got ignored, tried again and that's when he said he didn't want to hurt me it won't be more than fwb.
StrangerThanFiction Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 Well I had slept with him for the first time only a few days before the whole seeing/ignoring him at the bar incident then after not hearing from him for a week I reached out to him, got ignored, tried again and that's when he said he didn't want to hurt me it won't be more than fwb. That's basically your answer right there. He doesn't want anything more than FWB with you and you chasing him around trying to get him to "be honest about his feelings" when it looks like he already has been is doing nothing more than making you look needy and reaffirming his decision to not be in an exclusive relationship with you. Like a poster said above, playing mind games is a sign of insecurity. You trying to get him to admit to being jealous under the guise of being honest about his feelings just clinches it. Ignoring him and flirting with other dudes right in front of him to the point where he wanted to knock someone out was also not the classiest of moves and smacks of uber-drama that most people don't want to deal with. This dude has got you on the ropes and from where I'm standing it looks like you are desperately trying to gain validation by him admitting to being jealous. Even if he did admit to it, what does it really do for you? Give you little ego boost? He still doesn't want to be in an exclusive relationship with you. He wants to sleep with other women and that right there is the bottom line. I don't really think there is a way to fix this. All you can do now is cut him loose and go NC so you can leave yourself open to finding a man that will respect and care about you enough to actually want to be in a relationship with you instead of having you as just another chick in his stable of FWB's who he likes to play mind games with. Best of luck. 1
Author jebrooks1988 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 (edited) That's basically your answer right there. He doesn't want anything more than FWB with you and you chasing him around trying to get him to "be honest about his feelings" when it looks like he already has been is doing nothing more than making you look needy and reaffirming his decision to not be in an exclusive relationship with you. Like a poster said above, playing mind games is a sign of insecurity. You trying to get him to admit to being jealous under the guise of being honest about his feelings just clinches it. Ignoring him and flirting with other dudes right in front of him to the point where he wanted to knock someone out was also not the classiest of moves and smacks of uber-drama that most people don't want to deal with. And to be honest I started the games a long time ago when I told him he was on "my roster" of guys and ever since then he acted weird and he knows my ex and I still talk. Even after 20 min after having sex he asked if I was texting him I said no and I guess he didnt believe me because he asked to see my phone. He even asked if one the guys that I was talking to at the bar, asked if that was my ex. This dude has got you on the ropes and from where I'm standing it looks like you are desperately trying to gain validation by him admitting to being jealous. Even if he did admit to it, what does it really do for you? Give you little ego boost? He still doesn't want to be in an exclusive relationship with you. He wants to sleep with other women and that right there is the bottom line. I don't really think there is a way to fix this. All you can do now is cut him loose and go NC so you can leave yourself open to finding a man that will respect and care about you enough to actually want to be in a relationship with you instead of having you as just another chick in his stable of FWB's who he likes to play mind games with. Best of luck. Well the reason I kept reaching out is because he called me four times, texted me that night, texted me the next morning "forget you" all which I ignored then hours later he texted me again telling me to come over to which I said no not including the handful if tines he asked me at the bar to come with him and I said no. So no not needy I knew he was really pissed because I ignored him so much that Saturday and Sunday. The games started with me actually a long time ago when I said he was on my roster, number 5 to be exact. Then I confirmed for him that my ex was still in the picture. Even after having sex for the first time he asked if I was texting him and asked if one of the guys at the bar was my ex. Edited March 12, 2015 by jebrooks1988
Auspecial Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Personally I would consider his comment to be a direct insult attack. If I had time and inclination, I maybe would counter-attack. His statement is his way of hurting you back because you didn't respond to him. Calling you worthless and just an object for him to relieve himself in, is an over-the-top response to you not responding to him. What part of this do you want to fix????
Author jebrooks1988 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Personally I would consider his comment to be a direct insult attack. If I had time and inclination, I maybe would counter-attack. His statement is his way of hurting you back because you didn't respond to him. Calling you worthless and just an object for him to relieve himself in, is an over-the-top response to you not responding to him. What part of this do you want to fix???? I want to fix the fwb part lol
Recommended Posts