Keith1970 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I am always up to chat, to talk things out, if you ever need to vent or whatever. You can post here or pm me when that comes up. I hate hearing people so down.
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 You know what my problem is... I just can't let go! I have tried every ****ing thing in the text book but it still is not happening! And the worst thoughts in my mind are that she would be with someone else right now... I mean I don't want to get her back or anything that bridge was burnt long back but I just want to let go of this miserable feeling I get whenever I feel that she would be arm in arms with another guy. Aargh! It's so frustrating! Why did I ever fall for her why! 1
Jonp219 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 You know what my problem is... I just can't let go! I have tried every ****ing thing in the text book but it still is not happening! And the worst thoughts in my mind are that she would be with someone else right now... I mean I don't want to get her back or anything that bridge was burnt long back but I just want to let go of this miserable feeling I get whenever I feel that she would be arm in arms with another guy. Aargh! It's so frustrating! Why did I ever fall for her why! Meditating and imagining another sexy woman in my arms always helps me dispel those thoughts. You could also look up some NLP (Neuro Linguistics Programing) techniques and try to condition your mind into not caring when those thoughts come up in your head.
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Doesn't work buddy. It's engraved in my mind that my ex was literally the most beautiful girl ever. I just can't fathom imagining anyone else with me except her, that's how much I love her... How I wish things would have been different... I don't even know why God is punishing me like this... What did I ever do to anyone to deserve this ****ed up rut I am In...
Jonp219 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Doesn't work buddy. It's engraved in my mind that my ex was literally the most beautiful girl ever. I just can't fathom imagining anyone else with me except her, that's how much I love her... How I wish things would have been different... I don't even know why God is punishing me like this... What did I ever do to anyone to deserve this ****ed up rut I am In... Remember what I told you last time? Whenever you feel like this try writing down her flaws. She might of looked good, but she wasn't perfect. I'm about to do that right now, it helps. I'll post mine if you post yours lol
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Bro trust me I have been trying to do this for the past thirty minutes but I can't find anything... Rather I don't want to find anything... I try to do it but I am really ashamed of doing it... I don't want to find flaws in her. She is perfect, simply perfect. Whosoever ends with her will be one lucky sunovabiatch. I know this is not healthy for my recovery but I simply can't do this... I am just waiting for her memories to fade away. I still remember her face her beautiful eyes, her preety nose... I love her still so much... God damn it who am I fooling here if I could I would also go back to her but I cant... I can't
Jonp219 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Bro trust me I have been trying to do this for the past thirty minutes but I can't find anything... Rather I don't want to find anything... I try to do it but I am really ashamed of doing it... I don't want to find flaws in her. She is perfect, simply perfect. Whosoever ends with her will be one lucky sunovabiatch. I know this is not healthy for my recovery but I simply can't do this... I am just waiting for her memories to fade away. I still remember her face her beautiful eyes, her preety nose... I love her still so much... God damn it who am I fooling here if I could I would also go back to her but I cant... I can't I see, how long ago was your break-up, and how long have you been NC? Were there other things going on in your life at the time of the break up? That could also be a catalyst in why you feel this way.
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 It was in September 26 last year. Have been no contact since October 17. It was five months after my college ended. I don't know how or when this happened but that one girl was everything to me... Everything. I tried everything to stop her but she just kept on repeating one thing, 'I don't love you'... I even talked to her sister and she also curbed me. I know I shouldn't have begged or pleaded but how do you let someone who means the world to you go away without putting up a fight? Yup a lot of bull**** happened right after. A lot. I don't want to go in the details but I Lost my job, changed States, cut contacts with all friends, I basically lost my very will to live. And right now I am living a very very miserable life and I see no hopes, neither for this situation to get better, nor for ny future. I may soon jump off a building because death now seems like the only way out. (Not saying this to garner attention)
Jonp219 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 It was in September 26 last year. Have been no contact since October 17. It was five months after my college ended. I don't know how or when this happened but that one girl was everything to me... Everything. I tried everything to stop her but she just kept on repeating one thing, 'I don't love you'... I even talked to her sister and she also curbed me. I know I shouldn't have begged or pleaded but how do you let someone who means the world to you go away without putting up a fight? Yup a lot of bull**** happened right after. A lot. I don't want to go in the details but I Lost my job, changed States, cut contacts with all friends, I basically lost my very will to live. And right now I am living a very very miserable life and I see no hopes, neither for this situation to get better, nor for ny future. I may soon jump off a building because death now seems like the only way out. (Not saying this to garner attention) Was there a huge argument that led up to this or did she just lose feelings for you?? You shouldn't be isolated during such a difficult time in your life. Although you moved, try talking to your friends again and see how they're doing. If you feel like you have aspects of yourself that you want to work on, make a list and start working on them. Although this girl is gone, if you become a better man than you were when she left, I guarantee you're going to attract someone better than her. It may not seem likely now, but you will, it only makes sense. You saw my post from yesterday, I was down in the dumps too. But I need to realize that my relationship wasn't perfect. Not just from my end, but from her's too, because if it was she would of tried to work things out instead of running away and writing **** on Twitter like a 10 year old spoiled brat. Just think of how much life you have ahead of you. You don't want to kill yourself over this girl, do you really want to give her all that power?
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 The argument was about why she just stopped feeling anything! I simply don't want to talk to my friends because I am afraid they would raise her topic and I would break down, like real bad. The only thing I need to/want to work on is my body. I am one of those who start eating a lot in stress. Have put up quite a few pounds and it's starting to show. Every night I plan on exercising from the next day but every morning when I get up I just feel so so sad because We always used to call each other the first thing in the morning immediately after getting up... To tell you the truth I can't really comprehend life without her... I don't know it just seems to be going nowhere... Thanks man for being here at my time of need... I really needed someone to talk to now.
BlackbirdSong Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 To tell you the truth I can't really comprehend life without her... I don't know it just seems to be going nowhere... Thanks man for being here at my time of need... I really needed someone to talk to now. Bro, I totally feel you. I'm feeling the exact same way. I really cannot see my life going on without her. I wanted to build my world with her and I thought she was down for that journey as well. Unfortunately, she wasn't. However, while it will probably take me years and some intense therapy to get over this, I'm not giving up on my life. I'm not going to let her bring my life down because I'm sure as the sun does rise, that she's having a great life. You need to develop a plan. It can be a series of short-term goals, long-term goals, life goals...whatever. He's mine: 1) Finish my second Master's program 2) Get that well deserved job 3) Pay off my bills 4) Stay in amazing shape 5) continue to better myself emotionally and return to the beast that I am 6) find a woman and start a family (whether it be my ex or not) Now, I'm not going to bull**** you, 1-4 WILL happen while 5 & 6 are ever changing and up for much debate (and I do pray that successfully completing 1-5 will bring my ex back for #6. Hopefully she won't run off and get married and have a kid before I get to #6). As of 11:46 am EST, I am feeling really good about what I'm writing right now and probably in about ten minutes I'll return to the sobbing mess that I've been the past six weeks, but I just keep looking at my list as a reminder. I advise that you should try it too.
HBK3317 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Bro, I totally feel you. I'm feeling the exact same way. I really cannot see my life going on without her. I wanted to build my world with her and I thought she was down for that journey as well. Unfortunately, she wasn't. However, while it will probably take me years and some intense therapy to get over this, I'm not giving up on my life. I'm not going to let her bring my life down because I'm sure as the sun does rise, that she's having a great life. You need to develop a plan. It can be a series of short-term goals, long-term goals, life goals...whatever. He's mine: 1) Finish my second Master's program 2) Get that well deserved job 3) Pay off my bills 4) Stay in amazing shape 5) continue to better myself emotionally and return to the beast that I am 6) find a woman and start a family (whether it be my ex or not) Now, I'm not going to bull**** you, 1-4 WILL happen while 5 & 6 are ever changing and up for much debate (and I do pray that successfully completing 1-5 will bring my ex back for #6. Hopefully she won't run off and get married and have a kid before I get to #6). As of 11:46 am EST, I am feeling really good about what I'm writing right now and probably in about ten minutes I'll return to the sobbing mess that I've been the past six weeks, but I just keep looking at my list as a reminder. I advise that you should try it too. I get you bro... I do make these short term goals like Start exercising, stop eating so much, study etc. every ****ing night but the next morning all of it is down the drain as I start missing her the minute I open my eyes or she would be in my dreams the whole night and it's even worse to get up ... By God this is not me... I was not like this ever. I have had three previous break ups and nothing put me down like this one did... Oh boy it's so overwhelming... I can only wish for a miracle to happen now...
Jonp219 Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 (edited) The argument was about why she just stopped feeling anything! I simply don't want to talk to my friends because I am afraid they would raise her topic and I would break down, like real bad. The only thing I need to/want to work on is my body. I am one of those who start eating a lot in stress. Have put up quite a few pounds and it's starting to show. Every night I plan on exercising from the next day but every morning when I get up I just feel so so sad because We always used to call each other the first thing in the morning immediately after getting up... To tell you the truth I can't really comprehend life without her... I don't know it just seems to be going nowhere... Thanks man for being here at my time of need... I really needed someone to talk to now. It's cool man. I'm at work doing nothing so it's good to take this time to try and help someone in need. Just remember though, you were somebody before you met her, and you're still somebody even after her. It's like Satu says, "You need to take the orbit you placed around her and place it back on you". Only then will you have the motivation to go work out and start eating in healthy portions. You always say you were a kind, fun, loving guy. And you know what? That's EXACTLY what attracted you're previous girlfriend in the first place. You bring something to peoples lives, you're an awesome dude. However, you're fooling yourself into believing that she took that part of you with her. No she didn't, that guy is still inside you my brother, he's just too scared to come out right now because he's jaded and hurt by his recent experiences. It takes time, patience, and social interactions to bring that part of yourself back out, he's not lost forever! Suicide might seem like a solution now, but just remember, that the majority of people who have jumped off a bridge or ledge and survive all say they regretted it on the way down. Edited March 22, 2015 by Jonp219 1
BlackbirdSong Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I get you bro... I do make these short term goals like Start exercising, stop eating so much, study etc. every ****ing night but the next morning all of it is down the drain as I start missing her the minute I open my eyes or she would be in my dreams the whole night and it's even worse to get up ... By God this is not me... I was not like this ever. I have had three previous break ups and nothing put me down like this one did... Oh boy it's so overwhelming... I can only wish for a miracle to happen now... I feel the same. Why am I being punished? I'm a really great guy and I treated her amazingly. I have the dreams also as well as waking up in the morning crying. I got divorced a long time ago and never thought I would ever feel the same pain again. Three long term relationships later and I'm experiencing the same depths of pain as my divorce with this breakup. Like you, this is so out of character for me and it's really difficult to handle.
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