dikari Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 HI!, I want to tell this story and find some opinions about it. I was talking with this guy online, he was very nice person, and he is japanese, and I am obsessed with japan a lot. so He was very interested in meet me in person. So he traveled 2 hours in his car and met me at my hometown in a safe place. and we went on a date, he spent like 80 dollars in the dinner. plus the gas for the car, and the tolls, I think its a lot of interest. and he was being serious about the date. He told me I was more cute in person than in pictures, and I thought he's attractive too. He was very nervous around me all the time. specially in the car. His hands were like shaking all the time. the communication between us was a little hard, because he speak bad english. but everything else was great. we were texting eachother very often, and he even asked me if" I possibly could be his wife in the future? " So the other day I traveled to New York and he works there, and told him I was there, so He went out of work and go to see me, and offered me to take me to my home in his car, but the car didn't work in the ice. so I got in the car waiting if he could take me home, but he said his car was broken, ( and it was) so I said" bye I've to take the train" and got out of the car, and then He got upset and texted me that he wanted to kiss me, but I had to go quickly. afterall I went back to New York with my family and told him, he got extremely mad, because he thought i was with my ex or something, and Said "you are not reliable person, sorry, I can't trust in your words" and I was like WHat??, and I said "its ok if you dont want to talk with me anymore i dont want to bother you" and he said" Ok, Bye" and that was really disappointing to me, because I really like him. and I tried to talk with him, and he said" Please , don't tell me your plans anymore, THANKS"" I really don't understand what happened to him, everything was going like perfect, but then He hates me now.
Buddhist Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) As someone with more than 1 Japanese male partner (not westernised ones, born and raised in Japan) please trust me when I tell you to run from this one. That is very passive aggressive and he's got issues not related to any cultural differences. Many Japanese men have repressed anger and quite a few of them are violent. He shouldn't be talking about marriage before the 2nd date or doing his nut based on one small incident like that. Unless there's a lot more to the story than you're letting on, that doesn't sound like someone with a healthy mentality. All the usual red flags apply even when they're from a different culture. Cultural differences don't usually manifest as possessive jealousy...just sayin. Edited March 10, 2015 by Buddhist 2
Purepony Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Why did you leave so fast and take the train? You didn't try to communicate from what I gathered in your post
crazycanuck86 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Listen you only went out with him twice and he asked you to be his wife, and he got mad because you took the train home under reasonable circumstances. These are not good signs regardless of culture. Look at it this way if he was an American born white guy then the red flags would still be the same.
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