How important are looks to a woman?

[singlelife]

I've seen lots of women date ugly guys so looks must not matter.

[Phoe]

Looks are not a priority for me when deciding to date someone.

[Hopeful30]

In terms of maintenance, for me its important. I like when a man takes care of himself and dresses well. In terms of "attractiveness" I couldn't care less about the specificities of his physical appearance. All that matters is that Im attracted too him (and more than just sexually)

 

This is probably why you see women with "ugly" guys. All my exes are "ugly" accordinng to almost everyone else but i saw something in them. Thats what we are all after really.

[preraph]

It's important to me, but not everyone I find attractive do other people find attractive, so that's good. If I think a guy is really a cool guy for whatever reason, looks don't matter as much.

[Buddhist]

I've seen lots of women date ugly guys so looks must not matter.

 

Maybe they are just ugly to you? Or don't meet your particular idea of being an attractive guy. Men and women often vary widely in what they find attractive.

 

To find out what men find attractive in men, one only has to look at homoerotic material. It's all about oiled pecs and tight buttocks. Not all women however go for that. I certainly don't. But a lot of guys insist this is what women want....regardless of how many women don't want that.

[Gary S]

Sure, we've seen ugly guys in relationships. But there are beauty-challenged women in relationships also.

 

Looks are almost as important for them as they are to men, it's very close. Often, you won't even get in the door if you don't meet their physical attraction bar - which is different for every lady.

 

The difference is that the ladies often look deeper inside to the guy's personality and take longer to fall.

 

When a woman says, "He's not my type", the bottom line is he did not meet the bar.

[markleymassraff]

I tend to like pretty good-looking guys. I'm unfortunately not one of those women who can fall for a guy based only or mostly on his personality. That doesn't mean, however, that all the men I like are drop dead gorgeous or anything. Looks are very subjective. But all the guys I've dated seriously and had sex with...I would say are above average and have handsome faces by most objective measures. They are guys that other people (besides me) have said "he's handsome" "he's good-looking," etc. I care a lot about personality too though, so if a guy is just handsome, I still might not like him if I don't like his personality as well.

[fitnessfan365]

I can't speak for women. I can only offer a guess.

 

But it probably depends on the situation. In real life, an average looking guy can win a woman over with confidence and personality. However, online a woman has nothing else to go on but his looks initially.

[PrettyEmily77]

Physical attraction is a must for me whatever his actual looks, and that's the difference between a potential relationship and a potential friendship; his confidence and personality alone will not make me want to jump into bed with him.

[Revolver]

In terms of maintenance, for me its important. I like when a man takes care of himself and dresses well. In terms of "attractiveness" I couldn't care less about the specificities of his physical appearance. All that matters is that Im attracted too him (and more than just sexually)

 

This is probably why you see women with "ugly" guys. All my exes are "ugly" accordinng to almost everyone else but i saw something in them. Thats what we are all after really.

 

Really? People really said that to you

[ThaWholigan]

I reckon on average they're almost as important as they are to us, but as I always say, people don't all find the same things sexually attractive.

 

Have you ever met someone really beautiful but never got horny around them? Or met someone who otherwise wasn't necessarily the conventionally beautiful but exuded such sex appeal just by their presence?

 

I reckon they matter quite a bit but always believed women as individuals have varied preferences. That's how I'm ugly to some girls and really good looking to others!

[BluEyeL]

Looks are only important initially, before I know the person, after that character and values come first. Of course I have my preferences (>6ft tall, fit, handsome face blah blah), but in the end it's meh, not that important. Once I form a bond with him, looks don't matter at all, he becomes the most good looking in my eyes.

 

I actually made a point to eliminate the looks criterion from my search for love. I dated a large variety of men: tall, short, fat, skinny, fit...rich, poor, educated, uneducated... Because on the long term, looks (and status-although that's another discussion) matter way less than character and compatibility. If you go for looks first and character and the way a man treats you, as a second criterion, and not the other way around, as a woman, you may have more chances to be effed around by arseholes. The consequences are you'll likely to stay single and be hurt way more. Is a pretty face worth all that crap?

 

Looks as initial "attractor", before getting to know the person is probably why people who are not conventionally good looking have more trouble attracting partners online than in real life.

Edited March 10, 2015 by BluEyeL

[kendahke]

I've seen lots of women date ugly guys so looks must not matter.

 

I've seen lot of really nice, good looking men with utter hags who treat them like isht, so yeah, looks really don't matter.

 

What's ugly to one person isn't ugly to another. A lot of what is in play is how that man is treating that woman and she him, their attitudes towards one another, how they mentally and emotionally mesh, if their life goals are in alignment, if they like the same things, sense of humor, if they're compatible, things like that. Anyone who dates someone based solely on how that person looks--and nothing else enters into the equation--is a really shallow person.

 

Looks fade; character is forever.

 

The man I'm currently seeing is about an inch shorter than me and is quite overweight, but he has the funniest wit, is deliciously sarcastic, kind to me and treats me very well. I'm crazy about him. I spent 13 years with a very good looking man who was a cheater and was very selfish. I only wished I'd met my current guy 25 years ago.

[BluEyeL]

Really? People really said that to you

Yeah, a girlfriend said that to my face, about my partner. Suffice to say, she's not my friend anymore. She can go shove it.

[d0nnivain]

Looks are important in the sense that most people prefer to be attracted to their partners. However, some people who are physically beautiful on the outside can be the ugliest people in the world because they are mean. I think everybody looks a little bit better when you look at them using your heart & not just your eyes.

[road]

Maybe they are just ugly to you? Or don't meet your particular idea of being an attractive guy. Men and women often vary widely in what they find attractive.

 

To find out what men find attractive in men, one only has to look at homoerotic material. It's all about oiled pecs and tight buttocks. Not all women however go for that. I certainly don't. But a lot of guys insist this is what women want....regardless of how many women don't want that.

 

What you are saying is for her to judge attractiveness by what gay men like.

 

 

ROTFALMAO

 

 

Well straight men will acknowledge is what they hear women say they like.

[carhill]

How important are looks to a woman?

I've seen lots of women date ugly guys so looks must not matter.

 

All else being equal, the man with the most attractive appearance to the woman gets the interview.

 

Various factors of importance:

 

All else being equal

 

Most attractive appearance to the woman

 

Candidates forwarding themselves for interviews

 

IMO, John Nash could take game theory to the next level working out an equation for that milieu

[somedude81]

I believe that looks are more important than most women want to admit.

 

If a guy is just decent looking his going to have to make up for it with his personality, charm and humor. If he can't, he's going to struggle.

Edited March 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[katiegrl]

Looks are important to me, but it's subjective. Meaning, he only has to be good looking "to me." Because I'm totally into him, click with him and love him.

 

To others he may look like grandma's godzilla, but I don't care. If, to me, he's special, we click, and he's my " man"...he's the most handsome man in the world!

[SearchingForMyself]

I believe that looks are more important than most women want to admit.

 

If a guy is just decent looking his going to have to make up for it with his personality, charm and humor. If he can't, he's going to struggle.

 

 

 

Truth is, while attractiveness is subjective, there is indeed universal signs of attraction and the majority of women have gone out with, pursued, or tried to pursue guys like that.

 

And when it comes to mainstream online dating sites, if youre that or a minority...youre pretty much screwed.

 

But still, attractiveness is subjective. But some people have a CLEAR advantage over others. Just the way it is.

 

Might as well use what strengths you have.

Edited March 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[kendahke]

I believe that looks are more important than most women want to admit.

 

If a guy is just decent looking his going to have to make up for it with his personality, charm and humor. If he can't, he's going to struggle.

 

Every person is entitled to their preferences and are under no obligation to give them up to spare the feelings of some person they find mediocre or are not attracted to. No one is going to appeal to everyone.

 

As I've said before, the man I'm currently seeing is about an inch shorter than me, is overweight with a big belly and would be considered "average to unattractive" to plenty of women but he is the kindest man I've met in a long, long time. He is witty, deliciously sarcastic, funny as hell, very well read, up on current events, isn't afraid to research anything so he knows what he's talking about. Yes, he does have faults, as do I, but I'm willing to accept those faults along with what is good about him because I really like him and I love being with him

Edited March 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to edited quote redacted

[Hopeful30]

Really? People really said that to you

 

Not directly, but yeah my friends made fun of me and we got strange looks in public. I knew some of my exes were quite unappealing, but it is what it is. Even now I look back and think "eww", but at the time I was attracted. Couldnt tell you why.

[guest569]

Pretty important. Must find him attractive. Then get along well and all that.

[elaine567]

Looks are important of course they are, why wouldn't they be?

We spend our lives assessing people on how they look, first impressions are so important to everyone.

If we are looking for a mate as opposed to an employee, then attractiveness is going be important.

However, a lack of outstanding physical attractiveness doesn't rule out all the other qualities a woman looks for in a man and that is why many women find themselves in fantastic long term relationships with all sorts of different looking men.

[soyou]

Look is important for me. If a guy doesn't look good in my eyes, things couldn't get going from the first place.

 

I've tried to date guys with awesome personalities but beauty challenged look. In the beginning I was confident that things could work out but I found myself become more uncomfortable along the way. I felt embarrassed whenever I went out with them. I could not stand tall and be proud of their look.

 

I slowly felt sexually attractive to them. And then we faded out...

 

So yes, look for is important. Not the most important criteria but important!