battlehard Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I would say long story short but really its quite a short story. My girlfriend was dating a guy about 6 years ago then they broke up. 2-3 years after that they met up in a club and had sex but didn't talk after that. He has always been in touch with her mum as he has family issues and sees her as a mother type, in that time (to my knowledge) my girlfriend hasn't spoken to him. Recently his family issues got worse and he came to my girlfriends house (just to chat to her mum, he also spent the night there once when my girlfriend wasn't there, again to do with my girlfriends mum). Here's where it impacts me. About 2 months ago she got 2 calls from him late at night while I was with her, she asked him why he phoned the next day and he said it was an accident. Now he's in hospital or something and she texted him saying good luck I hope it goes ok. I said that's fine but to me it would be weird if they had any contact after that good luck text. She says if it progressed and they slowly chatted a bit more and checked in on each other by text every now and again it wouldn't be weird. I want to put my foot down and say that would be weird and wrong and I absolutely don't agree with it and it would cause us big problems. How would you react? Thanks guys.
Hopeful30 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 You have to decide for yourself how much you trust her. It depends on the person. Some people genuinely can be friends, but I honestly see no point. Just like how i move on from friends who i dont get anything from anymore, thats how i move on from exes. I see no point in dragging on relationships or friendships that have run their course. 1
Buddhist Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I want to put my foot down and say that would be weird and wrong and I absolutely don't agree with it and it would cause us big problems. How would you react? Thanks guys. I'd react by breaking up with you. She's not your child, for you to be putting your foot down upon. And your desire to demand obedience from another person is very unattractive.
Author battlehard Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 I'd react by breaking up with you. She's not your child, for you to be putting your foot down upon. And your desire to demand obedience from another person is very unattractive. So you'd react by saying nothing and watching your partner talk more and more to their ex who has recently phoned them up multiple times late at night? I fail to believe that.
Gary S Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 As long as she's not hanging out one-on-one with him in what would look like a date, it's okay. If you go off on her over nothing, that control freak attitude will probably beat the love she feels for you down. If enough of that goes on, if her love dips low enough, someday you might find yourself heading toward a breakup. Beware. You can't control another person. Again, as long as she's not dating him and can say the word "no" to dates, she's a good girl, you have nothing to worry about if she loves you. Women in love who have integrity are naturally monogamous. And hey, if she can't say "no", that means she's trouble, not good relationship material. 1
Price2Play Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) She's enjoy the attention, he may be pining for her. I've dealt with this many times before. You are right this is a huge red flag. You need to judge her by her actions & stay confident. Do not let it show that it bothers you. This guy is using family issues as a reason to re-connect, this is a no brainer. She's being pretty selfish if you ask me, hopeful is right whats the point? How long have you been with her? You need to decide for yourself how much you are going to put up with. You can't change her, do not let her disrespect you or cross a line. Protect your heart & end it if she says she's going to meet up with him. DO NOT THREATEN HER WITH THIS OR PUT A FOOT DOWN. Huge red flag. She says if it progressed and they slowly chatted a bit more and checked in on each other by text every now and again it wouldn't be weird. This isn't weird? ok so texting increases. So then what? Meeting up wouldn't be weird? Get out if it gets this far! Edited March 10, 2015 by Price2Play
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