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Does she really want a second date?


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Posted (edited)

I went out with this girl yesterday. I don't know her--we met on an app, and I asked her out. She said yes, and we had a few drinks. We hugged at the end, and she mentioned she'd like to "do this again soon." The conversation seemed to go well--we were together for 2 hours.

 

I texted her today saying I had a good time and asked her if she's free later in the week. She replied a few hrs later saying:

 

"Likewise! Next few days are hectic and then I'm flying home on Thurs. But I get back next week Fri, so maybe after then?"

 

Do you think she's just being polite or is it too hard to say? Her phrasing at the end doesn't make it sound like she's that interested...

Edited by clands887
Posted

Stop with the texting, it's the worst form of communication. Call her when she gets back to town and set up a date... have a plan, a time and day ready.

Posted

There's no way of knowing.

 

Try giving her the benefit of the doubt. She said she's busy and then going out of town. The fact she let you know when she'd be back is a good sign.

Posted

I don't see any red flags - yet.

 

Just proceed normally, but don't seem too eager/needy.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks. Are you sure? I don't know--I'm just getting a noncommittal feeling from the "maybe after then." What do you think?

Posted

If she is flying somewhere, I can understand why she doesn't want to deal with some person she just met until she gets back.

 

Although I hate texts reply as follows: Great. Safe travels. I'll reach out for you the Monday after you get home.

 

Then put her out of your mind until you can call (not text call using your voice) on that Monday . . . 2 weeks from now.

Posted (edited)
Thanks. Are you sure? I don't know--I'm just getting a noncommittal feeling from the "maybe after then." What do you think?

 

What could she have ideally said to calm your mind?

 

Keep things in perspective: you've met this person once. What is the worse that could happen? She comes back and you don't hear from her? At this point, that is hardly anything. Sucky, sure, but in the grand scheme of things ...

 

Remember, to date is to embrace risk. You put yourself out there and see how it goes. The reality of dating is that ultimately, MOST of the people you date will end up rejecting you—that's the nature of the beast. But we go through the rejection in order to find the one who will not reject us.

Edited by losangelena
Posted

If you value your time, never accept a maybe. Withdraw the offer and leave the ball in her court to get back to you. My response to a maybe - I'm a busy guy and only give my time to something definite. So get in touch when you're more sure of your schedule, and we'll plan something then. Talk to you soon."

 

After that, if she never reaches out, I don't contact her again. Girls that truly want to see you, will always make time and never give you a maybe. A maybe is because they want you as a back up plan.

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