You Know You Know Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Hello all. I'm just an average dude in his early forties who's rather quiet and introverted for the most part. Once someone does get to know me, they tell me that I possess a good personality and sense of humor. I seem to attract women who have been in prison or have a husband/boyfriend who is currently serving a sentence. This has happened IRL and through OLD. God, I'm glad I don't use OLD anymore. It's been happening for the better part of 20 years. I understand that people make mistakes and can redeem themselves. That doesn't bother me, but the significant other in the slammer is where I draw the line. I do not wish to have someone's old man coming after me when he gets released. The last woman who took a liking to me had served time and her husband was locked up. She also had a voice like the baby from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". I kindly eased my way out of that situation. I'm not sure what I am projecting that attracts these women. Any ideas? Thanks. Oh, and that's not me in the avatar.
preraph Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 God, I don't know, but it probably has to be that they are sensing a tolerance. Did you ever have to get used to anyone in your family being wayward in a big way? Are you openly tolerant about drugs or stealing or anything like that? DO you look like you've been in jail before? And good read dumping Jessica Rabbit. Many many women who have the childlike voices have arrested development in some aspects stemming from bad childhood abuse or trauma. It's a "tell." It's honestly never a good thing when a woman has a baby voice. Not to say you might not feel sorry for them and all that, but usually that is going to be one hot mess.
Author You Know You Know Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 Thanks for responding. I thought I heard crickets in the distance. The answer to all of the above is a big "NO". I don't tolerate drugs or stealing. I've never experimented with any drug, and I don't even drink alcohol. I detest a thief too. I don't have the look of an inmate either. I don't stay in uncomfortable situations like this. Once I get the details, I bail pretty quick. In my experience, when a woman has told me that her relationship status is "complicated" it usually means that her other fought the law and the law won. I don't know what they see in me.
No Limit Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 The most optimist-response I have for you is "They want to turn their life around and see a good guy to start with in you", but honestly even if that were true it's too risky in my opinion. 1
hotpotato Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 The most optimist-response I have for you is "They want to turn their life around and see a good guy to start with in you", but honestly even if that were true it's too risky in my opinion. That's true! Some of them hope you're goodness will rub off on them. It won't lol! 1
preraph Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I wonder if they see you as a savior type, someone who can help them dig themselves out of the hole they got themselves in. If you are generous, that might be it.
hotpotato Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 My neighbor who I guess gets in trouble with the law came up to me and asked me out. In short, he thought I was a good girl and could keep him out of trouble. He's not the only guy to say this to me. Dating him would have been awkward anyway because I've known him since he was like 7 or 8 probably. Are you or do you give off goody two shoes vibes? That could be it. Even over the internets you seem really nice. 1
carhill Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I'm not sure what I am projecting that attracts these women. Any ideas? Thanks. One possibility is a caretaker personality. You're in your forties and rather introverted and quiet and apparently easy to get along with. One thing to guard against is mistaking women wanting to use that part of you versus actually valuing and loving you for such aspects. IME, getting meaner and keener and more self-involved got rid of those personality types. IOW, becoming a man versus a woman with a penis.
Author You Know You Know Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 Maybe they do, but I am not the one.
Author You Know You Know Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 I guess they get tired of bad boys, and decide I can give stability or something. I'm not the one. 1
Author You Know You Know Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 My neighbor who I guess gets in trouble with the law came up to me and asked me out. In short, he thought I was a good girl and could keep him out of trouble. He's not the only guy to say this to me. Dating him would have been awkward anyway because I've known him since he was like 7 or 8 probably. Are you or do you give off goody two shoes vibes? That could be it. Even over the internets you seem really nice. Sorry for the repeating posts, I am not very forum savvy. I must come off that way to them. I work, spend time with my daughter, play my guitar, and take care of my 75 year old mother. That's about all I do at this point in life.
Author You Know You Know Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) IME, getting meaner and keener and more self-involved got rid of those personality types. IOW, becoming a man versus a woman with a penis. That's something I should consider. I probably wouldn't attract the Manson Girls anymore. Edited March 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix quote
Auspecial Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Sorry for the repeating posts, I am not very forum savvy. I must come off that way to them. I work, spend time with my daughter, play my guitar, and take care of my 75 year old mother. That's about all I do at this point in life. Sometimes life throws curve balls and alters good people lives, and it is valid for them to want to return to their prior, solid way of life. Several years back, I was in a lot of chaos and ended up with two really UN-solid guys during that time frame. I think I just had so much going on, that I wasn't focusing clearly on who they were, I made excuses for things they did/said. Then, when I could not deny it any longer, I got out of each. Because of all the unwanted, unwarranted drama they caused me and therefore my family, now I look specifically for solid types. To me, a man who works, spends tie with his child, has an avocation, and takes care of an aging parent, THAT is a solid guy. Does the fact that I myself wasn't solid four years ago mean that I am no longer (or, wasn't) eligible to want a solid person to be with? Note: I was solid 30 years prior, and I am solid now. 1
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