GoodDaze43 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 (edited) Recently my girlfriend and I both 22 broke up right before our 1 year anniversary. The girl that said that she wanted to marry me, 'make babies' with me and spend the rest of her life with me... cheated on me. Everything in our relationship was going great I treated her amazing because she meant everything to me. Her best friend was coming to our country and ended up staying at her house for 2 weeks which I wasn't cool with. At the beginning when we first started dating she mentioned her good friend and throughout our relationship she would talk about him and her mom and dad talked about him and her being the best of friends and hes a great kid so i tried not to be too jealous. Anyhow when he was in town me and her got in some fights and she became distant to me and when he left she tells me she got feelings for him and don't know if she wants this relationship because her head is confused. We broke up and right after she uploads a picture of her touching his chest tattoo and other pics of him I asked her wtf and she brushed me off. After doing some creeping on her twitter I notice her and him had a thing going way back. all these "I love baby, I miss you, you are my everything, you and I forever and I miss your body" Seeing those messages made me sick had to be more than a friendship. She cuts me off and acts like she is the victim and I'm an *******. I talk to her old friend and he tells me that before him and her stop being best friends she would send him pictures of herself in lingerie I couldn't believe it and than he sent me the pictures. I feel sick to my stomach. The last time I talked to her was before finding all this out, when I was trying to work things out and than caught her in the club on another dude. She blocked me and I never talked to her since but now finding out all this is making me feel like I got hit my train. Ever since the break up she has been going clubbing every week, partying and having some guy friends crash at her place. I know I have to move on now but I'm so hurt, betrayed and I feel stupid putting all my trust into her. sucks I'm here all hurt and she out having the time of her life. I loved this girl so much, but once he came to our country she became a different person. I just found out from her friend last night that she was at the club acting very inappropriate. Edited March 9, 2015 by GoodDaze43
Omei Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Im sorry you feel hurt, and it's very heartless of her to post pictures like that so soon after anyone with one would know that would hurt someone so soon, doesn't seem like shes very nice. You will move on, remember this about her just her but don't attach it to future relationships you just cannot go through life thinking the next one may have the same outcome, relationships are about leaps of faith really sometimes you think the person you knew was great didn't turn out to be so great after all but you'll find someone better.
Buddhist Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 I know I have to move on now but I'm so hurt, betrayed and I feel stupid putting all my trust into her. sucks I'm here all hurt and she out having the time of her life. I loved this girl so much, but once he came to our country she became a different person. I just found out from her friend last night that she was at the club acting very inappropriate. First off, sorry for your experience. It truly does suck and it's difficult thing to get closure on, especially when you feel as if you never knew this person at all. She sounds callous, immature and frankly a bit narcissistic. Sorry dude. What you are seeing is the real her unfortunately not a 'different person' at all. It will take a long time to get over this and you'll be on that rollercoaster of emotion for a while. The only thing that brings comfort is knowing that what you are feeling, is a process and at some point it will end and you will be free. In the meantime you will be sad, angry, confused and doubt the reality of the relationship as you remember it. But in that circular process which comes and goes in waves you eventually come to a place of clarity about things which is what gets you closer to moving on, each time the cycle repeats itself.
Author GoodDaze43 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 Thank you Omei and Buddhist for your response. I'm doing my best trying to get through this and remain positive. I just don't understand why she is blaming me and acting like I did something wrong. I understand moving forward is a must, right now I feel so betrayed. Again, thank you for taking your time and replying to my post. 1
Buddhist Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) My experience with similar people is that they never accept responsibility for their own actions. It's always someone else's fault. That's how they can keep up the illusion that they are decent human beings in the face of evidence to the contrary. If you are not a broken unit, like these people are, you will never be able to get your head around this way of being. Start researching relationships with narcissistic people. Although she doesn't sound extreme, the basics are the same for all of these relationships and you will either be able to map it to your relationship or not. It's one way of working through the feelings and hurt and making sense of it all. The fact that she's on a binge of risk-taking and irresponsible behaviour immediately after the breakup is what's raising that flag for me. That's classic narcissistic behaviour. Edited March 10, 2015 by Buddhist 1
Author GoodDaze43 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Posted March 10, 2015 Buddhist I just researched it and wow you're right. When I met my ex her roommate was moving back to her country and she was by herself. Also when I went to my ex girlfriends country in the summer for the first time she would hangout with me and than when her friends came around she pushed me a side not showing much attention. I brought this up to her at the time and she apologized. When she came back to my country after the summer to finish college she had no one but me, I helped her with everything, moving to her new apartment, taking her places and always being there to support her when she felt lonely and sad. But recently she got much closer with another girl and few guys who are from her country and her other friend who she always had fights with is single and now she began to spend time with them and pushed me away. Now she has this circle and feels she don't need me. Narcissistic partners "They enter into relationships in an attempt to fill this void and to make sure that they have someone who is always available"
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