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I called my boyfriend a swear word during a brief fight, he won't reply to me even af

rileymcmahon

By rileymcmahon
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rileymcmahon New Member

rileymcmahon

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We had an argument about him cancelling our plans to go out with his friends, so it resulted in me calling him a nasty word (this is over text). Obviously he never had a response to that and I sent another text the day after apologizing and explaining I was drunk at the time (which I was, I wouldn't have said it had I been sober) It's been two days and still no reply. I don't really blame him to be honest but it is driving me mad wondering what he is thinking. My friends and family keep telling me to text him again but I don't know what to say and can't face another text being ignored. I also don't want to keep trying to contact him if he needs some space. I just don't know what to do. It is making me feel ill, I am so worried he is done with me. We have argued in the past and I always feel like it is my fault, so I feel like he is done with me now. Whenever we fell out in the past he'd say things like 'why can't you just be chill and normal', and 'I can't handle this/do this'. But he always came back. I don't understand him. I need some contact from him, I'm going mad. We have only been together for about 2 months, btw. :(

strawberrypancake Member

strawberrypancake

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I think if you have only been together for 2 months and already have had so many fights, you probably aren't right for each other. he just seems very annoyed by you, and this early on in a relationship this shows you shouldn't be together.

I suspect you are very young, still in school?

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rileymcmahon New Member

rileymcmahon

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I think if you have only been together for 2 months and already have had so many fights, you probably aren't right for each other. he just seems very annoyed by you, and this early on in a relationship this shows you shouldn't be together.

I suspect you are very young, still in school?

 

No, i'm not still in school.

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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It sounds like a lot of drama for only 2 months and you word it all very casually "when we've had fall outs in the past"...how many fall outs have you had in only 2 months? Is that normal for you?

 

Your bf's past responses are telling "why can't you just chill"....he is fed up with the drama and the fights, this may have been the straw that broke the camels back. I wouldn't contact him, if he hasn't in like a week then I guess you should just to finalize the break up....

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strawberrypancake Member

strawberrypancake

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No, i'm not still in school.

 

Even the more to worry that such an immature relationship is acceptable for you if you're a grown adult.

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rileymcmahon New Member

rileymcmahon

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Even the more to worry that such an immature relationship is acceptable for you if you're a grown adult.

 

How is it immature? We don't fight all the time, most of the time it is good between us. It is usually silly tiffs.

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strawberrypancake Member

strawberrypancake

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Comments in Bold:

 

 

We had an argument about him cancelling our plans to go out with his friends,

 

-- Why would you argue about this? To me it sounds as if he wanted to have bro-time and you made a scene. Let the guy go out with his friends whenever he wants.

 

so it resulted in me calling him a nasty word (this is over text)

 

-- Why call him a nasty word in the first place, especially for him wanting to have some guy-time? Leave the poor man alone.

 

. Obviously he never had a response to that and I sent another text the day after apologizing and explaining I was drunk at the time (which I was, I wouldn't have said it had I been sober)

 

-- Why do you get drunk and then confront your boyfriend about anything, for that matter? If you already feel the need to get drunk in the first place, don't work your phone while at it. Nothing ever good results out of this. It's an immature thing to do.

 

It's been two days and still no reply. I don't really blame him to be honest but it is driving me mad wondering what he is thinking.

-- So,now you don't blame him, but you did when you called him a bad name? Make up your mind.

 

 

My friends and family keep telling me to text him again but I don't know what to say and can't face another text being ignored.

 

-- Face the truth, he's done with you.

 

I also don't want to keep trying to contact him if he needs some space.

 

-- I think he wants more than just some space.

 

I just don't know what to do. It is making me feel ill, I am so worried he is done with me.

 

-- It's probably for the best. For both parties involved. You seem to need more attention from your partner and he needs less attention from you. You aren't a good match.

 

We have argued in the past

 

-- In 2 months? This should be the honeymoon phase. Why are you arguing?

 

and I always feel like it is my fault

 

-- Does he make you feel this way? Again, you are a bad fit. Woman up!

 

, so I feel like he is done with me now. Whenever we fell out in the past he'd say things like 'why can't you just be chill and normal', and 'I can't handle this/do this'.

 

-- I cut the guy some slack for managing 2 months with you. You seem a handfull. But it's obvious too that he is not ready to be making any form of commitment.

 

But he always came back. I don't understand him.

 

-- If you don't understand him, you shouldn't be with him. Obviously you don't understand each other and can't cater to each others needs. Not a good fit. He wants something casual, you want heaven on earth. Two very different things.

 

I need some contact from him, I'm going mad. We have only been together for about 2 months, btw. :

 

-- He probably won't contact you because he's through with you and too chicken to tell to your face. Save yourself the worst part of it and just tell him it's over, then spend some time searching for yourself and what you truly want and don't date A55holes anymore. Also, don't be one. The end.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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We had an argument about him cancelling our plans to go out with his friends, so it resulted in me calling him a nasty word (this is over text). Obviously he never had a response to that and I sent another text the day after apologizing and explaining I was drunk at the time (which I was, I wouldn't have said it had I been sober) It's been two days and still no reply. I don't really blame him to be honest but it is driving me mad wondering what he is thinking. My friends and family keep telling me to text him again but I don't know what to say and can't face another text being ignored. I also don't want to keep trying to contact him if he needs some space. I just don't know what to do. It is making me feel ill, I am so worried he is done with me. We have argued in the past and I always feel like it is my fault, so I feel like he is done with me now. Whenever we fell out in the past he'd say things like 'why can't you just be chill and normal', and 'I can't handle this/do this'. But he always came back. I don't understand him. I need some contact from him, I'm going mad. We have only been together for about 2 months, btw. :(

 

There is such a thing as "the straw that broke the camel's back".

 

so far, I've counted 2 other times in the last 8 weeks outside of what prompted this post that you have argued with him--some people grow very tired of conflict and arguing very quickly. Being drunk isn't an excuse for you calling him a nasty word.

 

If you're doing this much fighting in an 8 week period, then you and he are not compatible and he's seeing that. He's taking time to consider the wisdom in continuing in a relationship with you, which he should considering your behavior.

 

Sometimes, being sorry isn't enough. This time, you went too far.

 

Might be time for you to get used to him not contacting you anymore.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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How is it immature? We don't fight all the time, most of the time it is good between us. It is usually silly tiffs.

 

THAT is what makes it immature. You should be grown enough to either accept that he is who he is or realize that he's not who you need and bounce. Silliness is for children, not adults.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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What everyone else said (he's done), but also, a falling out with a guy you've been dating for only two months should not be making you feel "ill" ..... sheesh..

 

You are WAY too emotionally attached for only two months dating, which may be another reason he got turned off.

 

And what were these plans you had that he canceled to be with his friends? Perhaps if you had heeded to his request that you chill out more, he would have wanted to be with you instead of his friends.

 

In any event, he may re-appear at some point, but for now it appears he's done.

 

Leave him be .... don't contact him again ...

Edited by katiegrl
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gaius Established Member

gaius

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You didn't do anything wrong Riley. You just need a guy who's not a pussy and enjoys a blood boiling fight with you occasionally. Fighting can be incredibly sexual and intoxicating.

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strawberrypancake Member

strawberrypancake

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You didn't do anything wrong Riley. You just need a guy who's not a pussy and enjoys a blood boiling fight with you occasionally. Fighting can be incredibly sexual and intoxicating.

 

Don't you think that 2 months in is a bit too early to constantly nitpick for fights? I feel sorry for the guy, no matter how insensitive of a douche he might be. I think OP has some growing up to do.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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You didn't do anything wrong Riley. You just need a guy who's not a pussy and enjoys a blood boiling fight with you occasionally. Fighting can be incredibly sexual and intoxicating.

 

Oh good grief ....

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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Don't you think that 2 months in is a bit too early to constantly nitpick for fights? I feel sorry for the guy, no matter how insensitive of a douche he might be. I think OP has some growing up to do.

Not if the guy is into the girl. And he made plans with her and then cancelled, just to hang out with his friends. :sick: She has a right to be insulted and pick a fight about that.

gaius Established Member

gaius

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Oh good grief ....

You wanna fight Katie? :confused:;)

strawberrypancake Member

strawberrypancake

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Not if the guy is into the girl. And he made plans with her and then cancelled, just to hang out with his friends. :sick: She has a right to be insulted and pick a fight about that.

 

Well, from what I read and from personal experience, I would say OP picks a fight way too often and OP's BF got tired of it pretty early on.

I wouldn't want to hang with a nitpicker either. It's stressful.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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You wanna fight Katie? :confused:;)

 

Respectfully decline....not into drama. Been there done that.... that type of dysfunction gets old "really" fast!

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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OP: Examine your relationship with alcohol.

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Gary S Established Member

Gary S

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You two have not been together long enough to be having fights like this, if everything was going right.

 

And why are you getting drunk and saying things you regret? Cut down on the alcohol or quit drinking all together.

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catchthedrift Established Member

catchthedrift

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You really should not be with this person at all. You are not compatible. Search for someone on your wavelength and let your boyfriend play.

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

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Huh. I agree with the general sentiment that the OP and her BF don't seem compatible.

 

But I don't agree with the poster who suggested the OP is looking for "heaven on Earth" on the basis that she was pissed because her BF cancelled on her to hang with his friends instead. It's a dick move, so eff that noise. Plans are plans. You don't cancel because something "better" came along.

 

Calling someone a nasty name over text is kind of a dick move too, though, OP. You guys really aren't bringing out the best in each other.

 

OP, time to call this one. Find someone whose style suits yours - he's more serious about dates/regular time together, so that you don't feel insecure and he doesn't feel trapped or the need to blow you off just to show you he can. (Seriously. Dick move.)

Edited by serial muse
catchthedrift Established Member

catchthedrift

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Huh. I agree with the general sentiment that the OP and her BF don't seem compatible.

 

But I don't agree with the poster who suggested the OP is looking for "heaven on Earth" on the basis that she was pissed because her BF cancelled on her to hang with his friends instead. It's a dick move, so eff that noise. Plans are plans. You don't cancel because something "better" came along.

 

Calling someone a nasty name over text is kind of a dick move too, though, OP. You guys really aren't bringing out the best in each other.

 

OP, time to call this one. Find someone whose style suits yours - he's more serious about dates/regular time together, so that you don't feel insecure and he doesn't feel trapped or the need to blow you off just to show you he can. (Seriously. Dick move.)

 

It's too bad people always try to make it work, trying whatever it takes, to be with someone who they are seemingly not compatible with. It's a bad habit. I have been there myself.

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serial muse Established Member

serial muse

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It's too bad people always try to make it work, trying whatever it takes, to be with someone who they are seemingly not compatible with. It's a bad habit. I have been there myself.

 

Ditto. (ten chars)

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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Well, from what I read and from personal experience, I would say OP picks a fight way too often and OP's BF got tired of it pretty early on.

I wouldn't want to hang with a nitpicker either. It's stressful.

I don't know, I think she said she's still in school so it's probably that period where relationships don't lasy long no matter what you do. And if he's dumb enough to ditch her for friends he's probably dumb enough to do other things that call for a whack upside the head. =/

  • Like 1
gaius Established Member

gaius

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Respectfully decline....not into drama. Been there done that.... that type of dysfunction gets old "really" fast!

You never had the good kind of fights then. :o

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