Jonp219 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 I was always curious. What does the dumper go through when they dump someone? Are their any grief stages for them?
Ordinaryday Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 I was always curious. What does the dumper go through when they dump someone? Are their any grief stages for them? It's different for every single dumper but as a very broad guide that by no means applies to everyone: first stage is relief, they are glad to be rid of you and the supposed drama you brought to their life. this stage can last from as little as an hour to forever and ever. second stage is guilt brought on by introspection. initially they were glad to be rid of you and they still partly are, but they have replayed some of your conversations and chats in their mind and they have come to believe that they acted harshly or in a mean way and they feel guilty about it. they may choose to do something about this, like contact you to apologise, or they may just think 'forget it, whats done is done' and try to move on. third stage is guilt goes away and they move on, they think of you less and less and all you are to them is a distant memory but things may still be bitter between you. fourth stage is acceptance, they see you in the same way they would see an old friend they knew in high school, and nothing but. if they bumped into you they would be fine to have a two minute chat with you about the weather, and exchange a text message or two once a year, because they literally see you as nothing to them anymore, no emotional attachment at all to you. it is like you are an old workmate they spoke to every now and then. this is very general, and by no means applies to all dumpers.
Author Jonp219 Posted March 9, 2015 Author Posted March 9, 2015 It's different for every single dumper but as a very broad guide that by no means applies to everyone: first stage is relief, they are glad to be rid of you and the supposed drama you brought to their life. this stage can last from as little as an hour to forever and ever. second stage is guilt brought on by introspection. initially they were glad to be rid of you and they still partly are, but they have replayed some of your conversations and chats in their mind and they have come to believe that they acted harshly or in a mean way and they feel guilty about it. they may choose to do something about this, like contact you to apologise, or they may just think 'forget it, whats done is done' and try to move on. third stage is guilt goes away and they move on, they think of you less and less and all you are to them is a distant memory but things may still be bitter between you. fourth stage is acceptance, they see you in the same way they would see an old friend they knew in high school, and nothing but. if they bumped into you they would be fine to have a two minute chat with you about the weather, and exchange a text message or two once a year, because they literally see you as nothing to them anymore, no emotional attachment at all to you. it is like you are an old workmate they spoke to every now and then. this is very general, and by no means applies to all dumpers. I see Yea I've seen some dumpers take the break up harder or just as hard as the dumpee in certain cases, especially right after the break up.
Recommended Posts