Samb21 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Do you really want to know about your signifcant others sexual past? Why or why not?
NJ123 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Do you really want to know about your signifcant others sexual past? Why or why not? There's a big thread about this in the Dating section of the site. 2
Gloria25 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 The only time I would want to know about anything regarding something in a SO's "past" is if it would be relevant to them "now" and our relationship. Some people think that your SO is like your counselor/social worker/priest - where you are allowed and/or supposed to lay out all your business cuz you either expect them to heal you, be your beating and/or sound board, and/or so you can put the burden off of yourself as of some type of guilt. Well, I don't buy into that nonsense. For one, counselors/social workers/priests have certain training that gives them the capacity to handle with what people tell them...that's their job - not a SO's job. Two, why dredge up something if it is no longer relevant? All you're gonna do is open up a can of worms. Like, let's say you kissed a chick on a drunken night and your wife didn't know. You were drunk, you put yourself alone with that chick..IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. Why tell your wife? Now, your wife is gonna start questioning you, start feeling insecure, etc - all over something that was a mistake, didn't change your RL with your wife, and WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Now, let's say you were abused as a child and have sexual hang ups. YES, your SO needs to know. My last FWB, his wife was abused and she cut off sex, was mean etc. Not sure if he knew that going into the marriage, but that is an example of you having to reveal what happened in your past because it IS affecting your current RL.
Keith1970 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Yes. I have gotten little tid bits here and there. I would love more...simply because I am curious. That is really it.
blueskyday Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Yes, want to know the whole scope of it, but not details. Think the resume version. It need not be a confessional, true, but one can't use that as an excuse to withhold important historical data. Our past is relevant. If the telling of it turns into a confessional of sorts, then that's fine, too. No one should know more about your partner than you, and vice versa. Secrets destroy trust. It's not buyer beware in relationships. It's about full disclosure to partners . 2
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 I always wanted health info but no other details. I also refused to give out details. 1
Priv Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Now, let's say you were abused as a child and have sexual hang ups. YES, your SO needs to know. My last FWB, his wife was abused and she cut off sex, was mean etc. Not sure if he knew that going into the marriage, but that is an example of you having to reveal what happened in your past because it IS affecting your current RL. Ummmmm, no. Probably the worst thing that can happen to anyone is not something someone should be forced to tell anyone. You are making a case for not having to tell whatever you did willingly but having to tell something you had absolutely no control over whatsoever. For what?
ASG Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 No, I don't. Why would I?Sure, sometimes I might get a bit curious, but I find that that's the kind of info that is irrelevant and would only cause issues.
hotpotato Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 It depends. My former crush would tell me about how he would make girls O. Thats the kind of stuff I want to hear. It made me hot and jelly at the same time.
craw Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Yes, want to know the whole scope of it, but not details. Think the resume version. Omg, that's too awesome.
Keith1970 Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 On the one hand, I want to know..but as a friend once told me, don't ask if you won't like the answer.
todreaminblue Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) I feel i have to tell a partner......i dont really like to......i dont go into graphics..and i cant give numbers..but chances if i didnt tell someone might tell anyway and out me and i wouldnt put a partner through that.....or me....so i disclose pretty early..... i do believe a partner needs to know of sexual assault and or rape because it does effect a person and honestly some men don't want to date rape survivors..due to the fact they may carry baggage they cant or are not prepared to deal with..some women also would not feel the same way if they knew a man had been raped...and i have had a friend a long time ago ....that dropped her bf because of a prison assault...sad but true..deb Edited March 10, 2015 by todreaminblue
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