Had plenty of dates... all of them refused anything more than a kiss.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Yes, "sex appeal" is subjective. Only thing I can say is that he talked a bit too much and he wasn't what I would consider "manly."

 

Doesn't help much..just my experience.

[spiderowl]

I'm pretty confident that I have everything that a woman could want except that I'm not the cutest of the cute. I cook superbly. I'm a successful working man with a stable job, meeting people all the time, keeping lots of friends, and staying relatively good looking at the same time. I went from hermit to almost a social butterfly in the span of a few years. What about my dating conversation skills is lacking?

 

Also, if a Caucasian lady has their heart set on not dating an Asian man, is there anything I can do to change their mind?

 

Thanks for the tip on the "Push-pull" vs showing mystery. I will work on that right away.

 

Yes, you do sound very appealing. Are you a bit boastful with these women perhaps? They might be attracted initially, let it get to the kissing stage and then start to feel maybe they can't cope with someone boastful long term.

 

Or, completely different, it could be that because you are so successful and accomplished, they think you are player. They like you but are wondering if you are just after sex with them. Maybe they fear you will sleep with them then move on. Perhaps they can't understand why you are single. I know myself I have wondered why a guy who seems to have everything - looks, talent, social skills - would be interested in me. It makes one suspicious.

 

Finally, something basic - worth checking you haven't got BO or bad breath. I have dumped a guy for bad breath. I did tell him what the problem was but inside I felt annoyed at having to do this. Although he tried to put it right, things went downhill for me from the point of noticing. It's not the first time I've been turned off by bad breath. I would recommend that any guy having problems keeping a girl should check his personal hygiene first before anything else.

[Garcon1986]

My true talents I don't really speak of. I say I play the guitar and Irish dance, but thats about it. In actuality I make efforts to hide my talents which are far more diverse than the listed. Promise I don't boast unless I really have to show my skills in something.

 

This is getting more and more mysterious - all dating is eventually for the intimacy; why would I sleep with someone then move on? Do I just let the lady know I'm in the dating game for the long term relationship, in a straightforward fashion? I'd need some advice to deal with the suspicious lady (although I certainly understand that there are folks who have been hurt and don't open up that easily).

 

I'm honestly not a player, I just have met plenty of people who I think are cute, but have no respect for my talents (they want a cute tall white/ greek/ italian guy who is rich and buff). I've met a couple of people who are attracted to me but I don't see too much in common with.

 

I guess the problem is this: I believe in myself and am sure that I am truly fun to be around. I'm not the cutest of the cute and I recognize that, but I make efforts to truly be the attractive guy when needed, and a nice guy when needed (or a gentleman). That doesn't seem to click in my mind with "exuding masculinity" or "really making a woman feel attracted" to me yet. Where does that step come in? I think I'm seeing it in front of my eyes, with one of our esteemed neurosurgeons at work, but I can't quite imitate that yet.