What should I do - whatever I do or try to do its wrong

[kipp]

I really don't know what to do - i have been with my husband for nearly 9 years and married for almost 3 - we have 5 kids between us - 3 from him and 2 from me - mine are 19 and 17 and almost flown the nest his are aged between 13 & 17 and all at home. I have horses that I show and they live on a yard on full livery - he always used to do the shows with me quite happily but this last year he has been getting more and more fed up with it - I don't drive our lorry - brakes are horrid and frighten me but I have done my best to get horse to shows without him but I still get grief because I am away all day at a show. I have said I will give up the horses but he won't let me do that either as I will be miserable - i already am as I either spend my days at shows creeping around him trying to keep him happy or if he stays at home dreading the problems when I get back usually when I am tired and just want to go to bed not have an argument or have him going on at me about how much time, money etc the horses take up - I really feel I cannot win - i have my own business and he works full-time - my business can't pay me very much at the moment but hopefully it will improve in time and financially we are ok but could do with more spare cash, after a very bad evening last night because I had taken a days holiday to go to a big show with friends even though my horse was not going I have told him this morning that I am going to move out of our house and leave him, I dont want the house he can do what he wants with it - am I being selfish wanting to do my own thing and enjoy my hobby - i am home 5 nights a week and most weekend evenings unless I need to sleep on the lorry at the yard for an early start and most of those shows he tends to come to anyway, I always cook an evening meal, do all the washing, shopping and work full-time. My instinct is to move out and get on with my life but I do still love him although I do not like the person he has become - he does have a motorbike which most weekends - if no shows he goes off green laning on so its not all about me and my horses although he seems to think that is all I care about, it makes me so angry so what do I do now?

[Pocky]

What happened to the friendship? You two don't even seem to be friends. He doesn't support you in your endeavors and you don't support him in his endeavors. You two are basically living separate lives in the same house. Maybe you two need to spend time cultivating your friendship and less time doing things separately? That is, if you want the marriage to work.