smg15 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I get so annoyed at hearing about how you have to be confident because women like that. Well isn't confidence created from positive things in someone's life? I have not been on a second date with someone my type in 4 years. And my bank account is headed in the right direction but not quite where I want it to be. So that's why my confidence is not as high right now because I don't have much going on at this point. That's why when that girl I met 3 weeks ago said at beginning of the date......"I don't want anything" I instantly took as she was not happy with what she saw And right now I can't even get to the date because after I talk to a girl on the phone she fades away. I bet any guy walking around with confidence is because of one of the two below 1. Several girls in his life or one girl 2. Nice Bank Account, Job or Both
Satu Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I get so annoyed at hearing about how you have to be confident because women like that. Well isn't confidence created from positive things in someone's life? I have not been on a second date with someone my type in 4 years. And my bank account is headed in the right direction but not quite where I want it to be. So that's why my confidence is not as high right now because I don't have much going on at this point. That's why when that girl I met 3 weeks ago said at beginning of the date......"I don't want anything" I instantly took as she was not happy with what she saw And right now I can't even get to the date because after I talk to a girl on the phone she fades away. *I bet any guy walking around with confidence is because of one of the two below 1. Several girls in his life or one girl 2. Nice Bank Account, Job or Both *You could just as easily say that they got one and two below because they are confident. I don't believe that either of those two viewpoints are particularly useful. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 As far as i have known.....a guy with a job is much happier than a guy without.....it is a level of independence that most guys who are detached from their parents need to have to get by ...to actually physically support themselves when i have been with guys who dont have a job, if it lasts too long they start to feel pretty bad...... confidence is what a guy has to get the job not because he has a job, but the push and drive to get out there after rejection and knockbacks...... the same can be said for getting a girlfriend its the push and drive after rejection to keep going....and everyone has that rejection come at one point or another what the difference is with confidence .....is that it is what helps you get back up......if you have confidence in who you are....not what you have or dont have...but who you are as a person....and this kind of confidence is visible to others.....and yes it is attractive....its not an arrogance born of silver spoons, private school education and entitlement and a million yeses and hundreds of contacts in networking....it a quiet unassuming air of having run the gauntlet a few times....and made it through...you know that guy is capable of anything he sets his mind too.......a confident battler who takes the knocks....and still returns to try again...that is confidence..deb 2
Author smg15 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 I do have confidence in 2 things in my life but neither includes dating because I have not succeeded 1. Saving money 2. Job Seeking I have mastered the ability to do both but not get to a second date. So until I go on a date with someone for the first time after having been on more than one date with someone else, there will not be high confidence
toscaroscura Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Confidence doesn't come from outside sources. It's not arrogance or bluster, counting up your money or your conquests. It's a peace with yourself that answers to no one. It's not looking at every social situation through the lens of insecurity and self-consciousness, but instead being comfortable in your own skin. An easy life where things are going well for you won't automatically give you confidence, nor will being broke with nothing take your confidence away. 3
Author smg15 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Confidence doesn't come from outside sources. It's not arrogance or bluster, counting up your money or your conquests. It's a peace with yourself that answers to no one. It's not looking at every social situation through the lens of insecurity and self-consciousness, but instead being comfortable in your own skin. An easy life where things are going well for you won't automatically give you confidence, nor will being broke with nothing take your confidence away. What allows someone to be comfortable in their own skin?
Satu Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Confidence doesn't come from outside sources. It's not arrogance or bluster, counting up your money or your conquests. It's a peace with yourself that answers to no one. It's not looking at every social situation through the lens of insecurity and self-consciousness, but instead being comfortable in your own skin. An easy life where things are going well for you won't automatically give you confidence, nor will being broke with nothing take your confidence away. Thats so true.
Satu Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 *What allows someone to be comfortable in their own skin? A big part of it is just knowing yourself really well.
elaine567 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 How to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin (with Pictures) - wikiHow 1
Author smg15 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 A big part of it is just knowing yourself really well. I do when it comes to job seeking and saving money but not winning the heart of a woman
toscaroscura Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 What allows someone to be comfortable in their own skin? That's the stuff of personal journeys and my answer won't be yours. For me, I just got tired of feeling worthless and abused. I started to own my feelings and speak up for myself. I learned to see my longings for someone who didn't return my feelings MY problem, not his. I learned that the right person for me will love me for me, and I'm no longer trying to jam those round pegs into square holes just so I can have "someone". I let those people go and stopped asking why, why? Because there was never a why, it just IS. Also, men are humans, not lifestyle accouterments. It's not his job to make me complete. 1
preraph Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Confidence has more to do with how your parents raised you than anything. Honestly, there are plenty of confident guys who have very little going for them other than that their parents instilled self-worth in them. Women as well. I had a little friend in high school who was butt-ugly in the face and buck-toothed, red hair and freckles, but she had great parents and I used to so admire her because she'd stand in front of the mirror and say how great her butt was and stuff like that, and she just never for a moment saw herself as ugly or let anyone treat her bad. And she got a boyfriend too, and it was all because of her confidence in herself.
Satu Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I do when it comes to job seeking and saving money but not winning the heart of a woman You have chosen and declared your limitation. Thats OK if like to live within those limitations. If not, you might want to reassess them. "In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true is true or becomes true, within certain limits to be found experientially and experimentally. These limits are further beliefs to be transcended." - John C Lilly.
toscaroscura Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Confidence has more to do with how your parents raised you than anything. Honestly, there are plenty of confident guys who have very little going for them other than that their parents instilled self-worth in them. Women as well. I had a little friend in high school who was butt-ugly in the face and buck-toothed, red hair and freckles, but she had great parents and I used to so admire her because she'd stand in front of the mirror and say how great her butt was and stuff like that, and she just never for a moment saw herself as ugly or let anyone treat her bad. And she got a boyfriend too, and it was all because of her confidence in herself. Good parents can really help, but fear not, those of us with terrible childhoods can have confidence too. It's just more hard-won and does require work on yourself. 4
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 A big part of it is just knowing yourself really well. ^^This.... and accepting and loving yourself for who you are....warts and all!! 1
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