fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Even though I hate texting, it's a necessary evil once and awhile. Especially in the beginning. But one thing some people love to complain about is that it took forever to hear back. Now even though it's counter-intuitive, I always take it as a good sign when a woman takes longer to get back to me. Things I've noticed when a woman is attracted and interested - she's a bit more shy, likes to hold things back and be a bit more mysterious, and she cares about not wanting to look desperate so she waits longer to respond. Plus, it shows me that she's independent and actually has a life outside her phone.
Gary S Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Texting will not make you mysterious. Mysterious means no contact, except one call a week, in the beginning, for a date. She's not wondering what you are doing if you are communicating with her. Texting is the poorest form of communication anyway. If she texts you, call her within 24 for a date if you don't have one set up already. If you already have a date set up, you can say, "Why don't we talk more on the date". In any event, reply within 24 hours.
GemmaUK Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I have yet to get to know or meet a man 38 to 45 on OLD who is OK with this. I dislike texting and I also dislike the need for constant contact. It feels needy to me and feels smothering. IMO I should not have to state where I am and what I am doing each moment of the day. I don't need to know nor want to know (nor do I ask) his movements all day so why does a man need to know mine?
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Texting will not make you mysterious. Mysterious means no contact, except one call a week, in the beginning, for a date. She's not wondering what you are doing if you are communicating with her. Texting is the poorest form of communication anyway. If she texts you, call her within 24 for a date if you don't have one set up already. If you already have a date set up, you can say, "Why don't we talk more on the date". In any event, reply within 24 hours. Haha.. You're preaching to the choir man. This is exactly how I handle myself. Plus, I wasn't saying that texting makes someone mysterious. I was saying that women like to hold a bit back when they really like a guy. When a woman feels more of a friendship vibe with a guy she treats him like a therapist and opens up about everything right away. There's no attraction filter. When I get a number, I send one text so she has mine. Then I tell her that I'll call and ask her when's a good time to talk. Then I call her and make plans.
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I love texting when done right. It's a fine art that I think reveals a lot about the person's ability to gauge boundaries and emotional outbursts. For instance, we've all read the posts here where men and women don't receive a response within 2 hours and this invokes them into becoming a texting terrorist, bombarding the other person with "WHY HAVEN'T YOU RESPONDED?? WHERE ARE YOU??" Well, a texting terrorist is someone I do not want to deal with, and instead of waiting three months down the line to find out this person is emotionally unstable, I've just now saved myself a lot of time. If the man I'm dating texts me and I genuinely cannot respond until nighttime, and he doesn't blow up at me demanding to know where I was, then I know he's probably more stable than someone who questions my whereabouts demanding to know why I didn't respond (and this has happened before). Sending a one-sentence hilarious text at 2pm with NO expectations, "Freddy Kruger is in front of me in line at Whole Foods" with an accompanying photo of an old skinny man wearing stripped shirt and hat shows the other person you're thinking about them and you wanted them to share in this special hilarious moment with you. Again the key words NO EXPECTATIONS. Not to mention texting can contribute to an enormous amount of foreplay. Anticipation. One-word texts. Innuendos. Double entendres. It takes a really talented person and a lot of imagination and intelligence to participate in subtley sexy prose. You can also gauge how tech-savvy this person is...which in my case I realized his SLOW few-word responses didn't mean disinterest; it meant he can't text for sh-t and never charges his phone. Also he was using old-school smilie faces like this :-))) ...yeah he's definitely from an older generation. So yeah...I LOVE TEXTING with this caveat: when done right. It makes me happy hearing the text chime, looking down and seeing a small note from the person who's captured my heart. Life's crappy enough. 4
Phoe Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I pay very little attention to my phone. It often stays at home or remains untouched in my purse for days on end. Sometimes it dies and I don't even notice. I send maybe 2 or 3 texts a week and make maybe 1 or 2 phone calls a month. Because of my complete and utter lack of care about my phone, I can take quite a long while to reply to a text. Sometimes people get mad at me, but those who know me well know that it's likely because my phone is in my purse or off or dead.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 I love texting when done right. It's a fine art that I think reveals a lot about the person's ability to gauge boundaries and emotional outbursts. For instance, we've all read the posts here where men and women don't receive a response within 2 hours and this invokes them into becoming a texting terrorist, bombarding the other person with "WHY HAVEN'T YOU RESPONDED?? WHERE ARE YOU??" Well, a texting terrorist is someone I do not want to deal with, and instead of waiting three months down the line to find out this person is emotionally unstable, I've just now saved myself a lot of time. If the man I'm dating texts me and I genuinely cannot respond until nighttime, and he doesn't blow up at me demanding to know where I was, then I know he's probably more stable than someone who questions my whereabouts demanding to know why I didn't respond (and this has happened before). Sending a one-sentence hilarious text at 2pm with NO expectations, "Freddy Kruger is in front of me in line at Whole Foods" with an accompanying photo of an old skinny man wearing stripped shirt and hat shows the other person you're thinking about them and you wanted them to share in this special hilarious moment with you. Again the key words NO EXPECTATIONS. Not to mention texting can contribute to an enormous amount of foreplay. Anticipation. One-word texts. Innuendos. Double entendres. It takes a really talented person and a lot of imagination and intelligence to participate in subtley sexy prose. You can also gauge how tech-savvy this person is...which in my case I realized his SLOW few-word responses didn't mean disinterest; it meant he can't text for sh-t and never charges his phone. Also he was using old-school smilie faces like this :-))) ...yeah he's definitely from an older generation. So yeah...I LOVE TEXTING with this caveat: when done right. It makes me happy hearing the text chime, looking down and seeing a small note from the person who's captured my heart. Life's crappy enough. Wow.. this was an awesome post. You're a beautiful woman but what's really attractive is your grasp of humor and mental foreplay. From that POV texting can be fun. But as you say, only when done with no expectations and for fun, playful exchanges. I think people rely on texting too much for communication and interaction getting into "phone-ships". BTW - If a girl sent me a text talking about Freddy Krueger with an old man dressed like him, I'd laugh my ass off and be impressed that she has an attention span outside the 21st century. 2
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 BTW - If a girl sent me a text talking about Freddy Krueger with an old man dressed like him, I'd laugh my ass off and be impressed that she has an attention span outside the 21st century. What's your cell phone No.?
writergal Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I wish I liked texting, but I'm one of those old school Gen-Xers who grew up without technology. I didn't even buy my first cellphone until my 30s. Having tried online dating off and on over the past five years, I've been exposed to men who just want a digital pen pal via texting. Yeah, no thanks. While I agree with PumpkinLumpkin that texting done right can be great for a relationship...I will always hate texting as a form of communication. I'd rather hear the man's voice over the phone. It's become a necessary evil in the 21st century for the way people court each other romantically and I just don't like it. Whatever happened to handwriting a love note? Texts just don't it for me. 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 What's your cell phone No.? If you live in Northern California in the south bay, I might just give it to you. 1
writergal Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I think people rely on texting too much for communication and interaction getting into "phone-ships". Yes. Phone-ships. Such a waste of time. That's why I hate the fact that texting is now included in dating.
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Whatever happened to handwriting a love note? Texts just don't it for me. Ah....such the romantic! 1
PumpkinLumpkin Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Yes. Phone-ships. Such a waste of time. That's why I hate the fact that texting is now included in dating. Brevity, no expectations, and always with a touch of humor. That is the key to a successful texter. Brevity will avoid a phone-ship. No expectations will avoid emotional dysregulation. And humor is sexy and a sign of intelligence. 1
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Wow.. this was an awesome post. You're a beautiful woman but what's really attractive is your grasp of humor and mental foreplay. From that POV texting can be fun. But as you say, only when done with no expectations and for fun, playful exchanges. I think people rely on texting too much for communication and interaction getting into "phone-ships". BTW - If a girl sent me a text talking about Freddy Krueger with an old man dressed like him, I'd laugh my ass off and be impressed that she has an attention span outside the 21st century. Does this mean you're gonna change your stance re women who only respond with a one-word response... or who don't ask a question? Assuming that one word is funny and makes you chuckle of course. Isn't this forum great?
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Does this mean you're gonna change your stance re women who only respond with a one-word response... or who don't ask a question? Assuming that one word is funny and makes you chuckle of course. Isn't this forum great? Haha.. Oh I beg to differ little lady. Her Freddy Krueger reference was at least full sentence worthy. But I'm flattered that you've been keeping a close eye on what I post. I promise to keep it a secret from your boyfriend.
writergal Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Ah....such the romantic! Oh yes! I'm of a dying breed of hand-written letter romantics. I still have all the hand written love letters that I've received over the years from men. There's something romantic about hand-writing to me. It just makes the content of a letter seem more genuine to me than a witty text. It takes time to write an actual letter and put thought into it. Brevity, no expectations, and always with a touch of humor. That is the key to a successful texter. Brevity will avoid a phone-ship. No expectations will avoid emotional dysregulation. And humor is sexy and a sign of intelligence. Don't get me wrong. Witty texts are fun to read, but I just can't put any validity into any texts I receive from men I date...no matter how intelligent or witty they are. I prefer my sentiment hand-written because it means more to me as I've said. One guy used text to tell me he loved me. Sorry, *buzzer sound* that doesn't count as a real "I love you." All the failures I've had with online dating that I've written about here include my dislike of texting as a communication form in general. I just despise it. I had a friend (another Gen-Xer) who preferred texting to talk, and her refusal to compromise on that point ended our friendship. For me, it's write me a letter, pick up the phone or send me a well-thought out email and you have my attention.
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Haha.. Oh I beg to differ little lady. Her Freddy Krueger reference was at least full sentence worthy. But I'm flattered that you've been keeping a close eye on what I post. I promise to keep it a secret from your boyfriend. Is that what I'm doing? And here I was thinking I was being all mysterious and everything. Gonna have to up my game!
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Is that what I'm doing? And here I was thinking I was being all mysterious and everything. Gonna have to up my game! Haha.. I excel in common sense. But must admit, you're pretty damn adorable.
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Haha.. I excel in common sense. But must admit, you're pretty damn adorable. Aww gee..... (blushing)
Kinetica84 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Text response and "culture " is tricky. I would say 80% of my communications is via whatsapp these days. I'm generally very busy and phone chats can be impractical at times. Response time. If I really like a girl sometimes I will delay my response for a few hours, or text back right away if convo is flowing nicely. I just like to mix it up. Trick is, don't read text with emotion, read it dead pan. Reading with emotion can to drastic misinterpretions, as pumpkin said, text terrorism can ensue which is not attractive. The answer is in the middle. Show interest but give space. Leave it a day or to between contact. Have turns doing the chasing. Be flirty but not perverted, be funny but not best friend funny.
guest569 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I try not to read anything into the response times. But if their texting behaviour changes for no apparent reason i get suspicious. If response time goes from same day to a week, i feel as though they are trying to keep distance between us or "fading" or met someone else. I take it as a hint. However they may be just busy...
Maleficent Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 A lot of people are always on their phone and when they are not, they keep their phones really close. So when I text one of those people and they don't respond, it makes me a little uneasy cause I know chances are they saw the text and are just ignoring it. Otherwise, I think most texts can be responded the same day. I just find it hard to believe people don't look at their phones at least before going to bed... Also, I find the whole 'my battery was dead' excuse to be a little lame and borderline unbelievable considering how attached a lot of people are to their phones. Everyone I know have ways of recharging their phone at home, in their car and at work.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 9, 2015 Author Posted March 9, 2015 If it's the very beginning when I first meet a woman and she seems luke-warm I think a bit of persistence is OK. You send a text. She never responds. You give it an entire day, then call her. However, if you leave a voice mail, and she doesn't return your call either, you know it's time to move on.
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