LooperDooper Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) I was doing alright with my break-up until the last couple of days have been brutal. I can't stop thinking about her in a sexual way and it is killing me. Our sex life went way downhill in the last moments of the relationship (hence one of the things that provoked arguments and eventual break-up) but I can't stop thinking about her having sex with other people. I know since she broke up she's been partying a lot (although I've kept NC, we have a lot of mutual friends and well it's hard to not find out). Anyways, I can't help but think how she acts, she was never the 'responsible drunk', in fact our first hook-up was her drunk and she had a crush on me but we started as a one night stand. I can't help but think she is doing the same now that she is single and considering how our sex life went downhill. She's not the prettiest girl, but she has that sexual attitude or sex appeal very high so pretty sure guys would be all over her just to have sex. I need help. I can't continue without thinking about it and it is killing me inside. I mean I miss her, I tried to get things to change but she had her mind made up. I've never been the type to sleep around, but I'm feeling so angry and with this need to want to have sex with her, that I am seriously considering it just to fill the void of my sexual life. Any help? Edited March 8, 2015 by LooperDooper
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 I was doing alright with my break-up until the last couple of days have been brutal. I can't stop thinking about her in a sexual way and it is killing me. Our sex life went way downhill in the last moments of the relationship (hence one of the things that provoked arguments and eventual break-up) but I can't stop thinking about her having sex with other people. I know since she broke up she's been partying a lot (although I've kept NC, we have a lot of mutual friends and well it's hard to not find out). Anyways, I can't help but think how she acts, she was never the 'responsible drunk', in fact our first hook-up was her drunk and she had a crush on me but we started as a one night stand. I can't help but think she is doing the same now that she is single and considering how our sex life went downhill. She's not the prettiest girl, but she has that sexual attitude or sex appeal very high so pretty sure guys would be all over her just to have sex. I need help. I can't continue without thinking about it and it is killing me inside. I mean I miss her, I tried to get things to change but she had her mind made up. I've never been the type to sleep around, but I'm feeling so angry and with this need to want to have sex with her, that I am seriously considering it just to fill the void of my sexual life. Any help? First, you're not one to "sleep around" yet you hooked up with her while she was irresponsibly drunk for what was intended to be a NSA encounter? Hmm... Second, all I'm hearing is a bunch of superficial stuff regarding how much you want to f*ck her and how the thought of her f*cking others is driving you crazy. Is that all your relationship was based on, just sex? Did you not feel or have anything deeper? It sounds like you see her as just a vagina that you're missing and not as a person you were in a relationship with. That might be one of the reasons your relationship hit the skids. As for how to deal with this, there are no easy answers. As long as she wants out you need to give her the space to figure things out. Maybe with enough time she'll come to the realization that she made a mistake and come back to you but then again...maybe not. Jumping into bed with random women to try and get over her will do nothing more than give you a few orgasms at best. It's not going to lessen the pain or stop the obsessing or replace what you had with her or HER for that matter. We've all been here at one point or another. This is just part of the ebb and flow of dating and relationships. The good news is that it doesn't kill us and life goes on. Time and space can work miracles on a broken heart sometimes. I'd rather see you be more proactive rather than reactive right now. Keeping yourself busy and productive is key to avoiding some bad decision making like random one night stands with strangers (says the man who doesn't sleep around ). This won't end well otherwise. Good luck.
NC-Thomas Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 OK bro, listen up. You need to stop idealizing her, you are infected with"one-itis". Your body is used to having sex in a regular way with her. Easiest way to temporarily shut it down is to masturbate. Yep it works. Hooking up / sleeping around is not bad at all. Dating will help boost your confidence. Sleeping with other woman after my break-up helped for me. Just don't go for a rebound just yet and be honest to your dates! When the feeling is mutual you can just have sex or be FWB. Start to value yourself instead of her. Your focus is way off man.
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