R92 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I'll start by saying I posted this in the NC thread but figure it might be best to start my own. So I just had my heart ripped out last night. We've dated for almost 3 years and the last couple months we have been distant a bit. I always try to msg her and see her when I can but those last months she said oh I'm busy with school and work and stuff and doesn't have a lot of time. She broke the news to me last night and basically said she feels she's growing apart and wants different things then I do. She said she needs space for her self. We have been a great couple and I don't think a month or two of a rough patch warrants a break up. I tried to say whatever it is let's work on it and blah blah and she had her mind set. This is my longest relation ship to date. I feel like cr*p. I do love her and not sure what happened. Maybe she met another guy at university and for some reason thinks our bad couple months means she can break up our 3 years. I'm happy I found this forum! After reading all the people who went through this I'm able to cope a bit better. Her guy friend who is a cool guy msg me today saying she called him down with a girl friend of hers and my ex was supossudly so miserable which makes it thy much more confusing. I am going to wait a few day or a week and talk one last time with her. To clear everything as best I can Then my only option should be NC. I just hate having to lose her
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Because you mentioned school I am assuming you are relatively young. Although your relationship has lasted 3 years as she has matured, grown & changed she may be right that you two are no longer compatible. It's hard & it sucks but you will survive. Hang in there.
Author R92 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Because you mentioned school I am assuming you are relatively young. Although your relationship has lasted 3 years as she has matured, grown & changed she may be right that you two are no longer compatible. It's hard & it sucks but you will survive. Hang in there. I just graduated university and she's a year younger. It's hard to believe it's because of just a month or two rough patch. Thanks though
Ruby65 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 You think the relationship was great up until the last month or two.... but that hasn't been the case for your ex. Her experience has been completely different from yours. She was likely detaching emotionally long before that and only just stopped hiding it a few months ago. Your relationship didn't break up because of a rocky month or two. It broke up because she lost feelings for you. That's WHY the last month or two was rocky, she was no longer trying to pretend everything was fine. Let her go, let her experience life without you. Keep moving forward on your own path. And if you're truly meant to be, maybe your paths will cross at some future date? Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com
Author R92 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 You think the relationship was great up until the last month or two.... but that hasn't been the case for your ex. Her experience has been completely different from yours. She was likely detaching emotionally long before that and only just stopped hiding it a few months ago. Your relationship didn't break up because of a rocky month or two. It broke up because she lost feelings for you. That's WHY the last month or two was rocky, she was no longer trying to pretend everything was fine. Let her go, let her experience life without you. Keep moving forward on your own path. And if you're truly meant to be, maybe your paths will cross at some future date? Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com I think you're right. Knowing that I hope i learn for any future relationships. I'll read into that Thankyou
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I just graduated university and she's a year younger. It's hard to believe it's because of just a month or two rough patch. It's not. With that additional info this split is a about transition. She knows you have entered the real world & she knows it's coming for her. Under those circumstances she is looking to the future & deciding that her school relationship isn't her forever relationship. Sorry.
Author R92 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Well I managed to see her one last time. I think it actually really helped me to get things off my chest. This was a few days ago. I just told her what I was thinking and that this may be the best option for us. One thing I asked her is that I said I wouldn't be able to throw out this valentines gift she made for me last year. It was a deck or cards with 52 reason why she loved me lol I know it's cute. She was shocked to think I was going to throw it out, even though I know when you break up you should get rid of all these Linds of things. She ended up saying she won't throw it out but will put it away somewhere. She told me she won't be getting rid of anything she has that I made/gave her. I won't be throwing out thing like a watch and clothes she got me, I don't think they'll bother me as much. As for pictures I just burned them on a cd and put them away. She said she will do the same. After all that and speaking for a bit I told her kindly that I will respect your space and make my best attempt at keeping my distance not to try to contact you. At the end I said but if you're ever in trouble or emergency I wouldn't want you to hesitate to talk to me as I obviously still would care for her in the future. Maybe I shouldn't have said the last part but she said she didn't object to the fact. On a side note I watched this video about a professor who made a study with several hundreds of people aged 70+ and got thier honest opinion about love. It really helped me understand that maybe her and I weren't meant to be. Links below: Tapestry - Karl Pillemer Interview - Tapestry - CBC Player Thanks for listening guys/girls
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