I think I've fallen in love after 5 dates, but they are leaving for 6mo

[soithascometothis]

I met this amazing girl a little over a month ago, and we've been on 5 dates together. Every date has been better than the last. We've spent hours together in museums, restaurants, cars, cafes, walking around etc., and always had an awesome time laughing, sharing stories, and just enjoying each others company. I'm in my 30s (so is she). I've had some serious relationships in the past (a few 2 yr relationships), I've been in love, I date, I'm social, I'm a nice guy, I'm not naive, but I've never been with a girl that I've ever considered marrying.

 

As I said I've only been out with this girl about 5 times, we've only shared a kiss, but our connection is intense. She told me the other night while we were hanging out that she is going to be out of town for about 4-6mo (most likely closer to 6 mo) for work. She was honest about this possibility early on, but now it's actually happening.

 

This is going to sound *insane*. I've always rolled my eyes at people who've said this, I'm not crazy, not clingy, I'm not this person at all. But I feel like I've met a woman that I could marry. Like I said, this is going to sound insane, but I would marry her tomorrow if I had the chance. She is incredibly intelligent, sweet, ambitious, successful, gorgeous, sincere, she is everything I look for in a person (yes I've only known her for a month!). BUT she is going to be out of town for possibly 6 months. A lot can happen in 6 months, everything can change, I know this. When we last left it, she told me that she wanted me to keep in touch. That we should email, call, text, etc.

 

I just don't know what to do. I can try to keep in contact and send some casual emails every few weeks, and see what happens after 6 months. The other part of me wants to confess everything to her and tell her how I feel before she leaves. Life is too short right?

 

I'm just not sure what to do. Either way we aren't going to be together for awhile, but I've never met anyone like her before. What would you do?

[deathandtaxes]

Is there no way at all you can see her in that time period? I mean, where there's a will, there's a way.

[d0nnivain]

Since you feel such a strong connection, tell her you are open to an LDR if she is. There are lots of ways to stay in touch; don't forget about snail mail it can be such a boost to have a tangible card or letter.

 

 

Will it be possible for you to go see her while she is away for work? Can she come home during that time? 6 months isn't that long & this is totally do-able since you know you have an end in sight.

 

 

Do not mention to her that you would marry her now; that is a bit over the top.

[Gary S]

It's hard to have a relationship with someone who's going away, with someone who is not there. Only one in 1,000 LDR's work out.

[katiegrl]

It's hard to have a relationship with someone who's going away, with someone who is not there. Only one in 1,000 LDR's work out.

 

It's hard but not impossible.

 

I compare his situation to a woman's whose boyfriend is in the armed forces and needs to be away for months...

 

They write, call, Skype whenever they can.

 

It's doable and where there's a will there's a way!

[bolase]

^

Only 1 in 1,000 LDRs work out

hmm nah. I think many more do, it depends on your means of communications and your willingness to do it properly but without it being a chore. Can you not make plans to visit her while she is away? Maybe 2 months in or something?

 

I would tell her how you feel (apart from the marriage/love bit) and also tell her that you want to support her with her move/travels. And then ask her how she feels.

[soithascometothis]

^ hmm nah. I think many more do, it depends on your means of communications and your willingness to do it properly but without it being a chore. Can you not make plans to visit her while she is away? Maybe 2 months in or something?

 

I would tell her how you feel (apart from the marriage/love bit) and also tell her that you want to support her with her move/travels. And then ask her how she feels.

 

We are going to be on opposite sides of the country, but I would totally fly out to see her. Would that be weird though considering we're not exclusive, and haven't had sex yet?

 

I feel like I want to be totally clear and honest with how I feel (not the marriage stuff), but also don't want to freak her out. Like I said, we've only been out 5 times. Given the circumstances I guess I don't have much to lose.

[Gary S]

If you think 1 in 1,000 are good odds, go play Vegas, you'll be rich! I'm not trying to kill your dreams, I'm just giving you the facts. Reality is reality, despite our wants and wishes. If you try to defy reality, chances are you'll get burned.

 

If you are going to do it, try to fly out there at least once week, otherwise you will probably be in a lackluster relationship... it might feel like the first date when you have not seen her for a long time.... and while first dates are fun, that's not love.

 

Honestly, LDR's are lame, sorry to say... you can't kiss her if she's not there... and if you're not kissing, you're just wishing.

Edited March 8, 2015 by Gary S

[d0nnivain]

You can always fly there & stay in a hotel Yes it may cost more but you'd get to see her.

[catchthedrift]

I would also propose a LDR but dont mention you want to marry her.

Just tell her you are happy the way things have been going and you would hate to see it end becuase of the distance.