Op17 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Almost everybody on here had been broken up with or been heartbroken at one point. I feel like everyone can relate and some stories of overcoming the break up could also help other people who are going through it right now. What were some of the toughest heartbreaks you guys endured and how did you recover from it to be happy again?
smellysocksuni Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Hey, A couple of years ago I met and fell for a woman who was already in a seven-year relationship with someone else. That was particularly hard, because I did fall for hard for her. I can't even remember how long it took to get over her or anything now, though! I guess time did it's work - Total indifference
Auspecial Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Great question! I thought about this a lot, and edited a few replies. End result is that each have been very difficult, and also I have learned that I will always be able to regain myself and be okay. 1
gaius Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 The hardest one was probably one I didn't even date. The girl I sat next to on the bus in high school and had the hots for, but never asked out. I was going to ask for her number on graduation day but I overslept and missed the bus. =/ And my mom wouldn't drive me. That one I literally felt for years afterwards. Oddly enough the ones I actually dated never came close to feeling that bad. Sure, they stung a little but that was by far the worst. Either because it was my first big crush or it was a loss compounded with the humiliation of not even making a move. Or maybe a little of both.
gnick Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Oddly enough the one that led me to this site which is the last one. I had to wait untill I was 50 to endure my worst one. Isn't that supposed to happen when you're 21 lol 2
lgspot Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 As an old guy who has been through several breakups, I'll answer this way. The hardest is the first, because it was the first and the girl is special to me, and the LAST, because it is the freshest... I remember them all as being HARD (at the time)...... 2
Phoe Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 The first one was the hardest, because I had never experienced it before, and therefore took far too long figuring out how to stop feeling like I was dying. Was cheated on and left for a very pretty girl. The 2nd one was hard, but not as bad as the first one. Once again was cheated on and left, but at the actual moment of breaking up he physically hit me and threw me against my car. While this frightened the crap out of me, it created enough anger and resentment in me that I no longer wanted him to exist. I threw myself into school and moved on much more quickly than the first one. Was single for 6 years following this. The 3rd one was fairly easy, albeit confusing. Had only been together a few weeks before he up and left. Meh? The last one was hard because I did love him, and it's still somewhat fresh.
erklat Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Definitely this last one that brought me here. I had much longer and meaningful relationships before, but this one snapped me in two.
Author Op17 Posted March 9, 2015 Author Posted March 9, 2015 Definitely this last one that brought me here. I had much longer and meaningful relationships before, but this one snapped me in two. What happened?
ApexTitanium Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 This last one that brought me here, also my first. Five and a half years and we were engaged. She just hit me out of nowhere with it and my world came crashing down....its still fresh and bothers me everyday.
erklat Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 What happened? Here is my breakup log. Everything is documented here. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/450868-my-nc-unexpected-journey Another thread where you can see how hard it was to cope sometimes. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/489481-time-seek-professional-assistance
sabd Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 I have had 2 exceptionally hard breakups to overcome. The first was when my husband of 13 years left me for another woman. It took me 2 years before I could see and speak to him again. They're still together, 10 years later. The second was my BF of 6 years who ended things 4 years ago in a text message. Again, it took me nearly 2 years to get over him. It was especially difficult because we work together so seeing him every day was intense and delayed my healing. I'm happy to say that I have decent, friendly relationships with both of them now. My latest breakup (2 months ago) was hard too because it is the freshest. But I'm doing well with NC and making good progress with getting past the hurt and shock of it all.
stellamaria Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 My AP is the freshest and therefore feels the most painful. But I'm convinced that is actually IS the most painful. Because I've known him the longest, we were closer than any other ex and me, plus it is such a massive regret, and now I have lost (what I perceived to be) a best friend too. I can't imagine ever feeling this devastated again. I've definitely cried the most over this one. But the first - at 17, I'd already had a 3 year relationship with someone that I recovered from instantly, then I had my heart broken over someone I was with for 6 months. I consider him my first love. Again at 19/20 (it dragged out) my heart was broken over a guy I played games with and (too late) realised he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. It took me years to really get over him and I still wonder how he is now.
rollercoaster11 Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Thats hard for me to say because when I was going through any o f my breakups...I thought that my life was over and that I would never love anyone else again but I did live and love again...huh!!!...there may be a lesson in that for me. I think really its what you,are going through at that moment...you tend to forget those previous relationships because you have moved on and loving someone else.
bigtrouble Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 The most difficult is the recent Break Up. I love her so much that it hurts when she ended it. After BU I was an emotional wreck... - Went 2 days without food... - Lost my appetite... - Depressed... - Lonely... - Constantly missing her... - Slept for only 1-2 hrs a day for 8 weeks... - Panic Attacks (chest pains)... Recovery... - Got a new job... - Met new people... - Found new friends... - Share my story and get good advice... - Stress eating... - Avoid contact and chasing after her... It was the worst breakup ever because I love her so much that it hurts physically not just emotionally. I could remember a time my body was shaking coz of lack of sleep and was so tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I was so drained. Working on myself, loving myself, is a start, focus on my job, meeting new people are good ways. Remembering who I am and finding myself is also part of my recovery, to regain my pride and self respect... Absence of love will break your heart, and only love can mend it back... 2
mightycpa Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 I think the answers you get must depend on when you ask. For example, if you had asked me during my third, that would have seemed the hardest, but now looking back, the first one was definitely the most difficult. How did I get through it? The hard way. No contact, grieving, resisting my urges. It was miserable, and it took me a lot of time. My third one was similar, but I wasn't nearly as miserable, and it didn't take nearly as long to get over. It just felt like it at the time, that's all.
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