unbeknown Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 To any women on here, would you invite someone back to your house after a first date and then kiss them if you weren't interested? Last week I went on a fist date with a girl and as far as I can tell it went really well. She was constantly finding excuses to touch me (playfully hitting, touching my hands etc). Also noticed when we were sitting she made a conscious effort to make sure our legs were touching all the time. All good body language. Conversation was really good. Not a single awkward silence and lots of laughing. All in all, a great night. I walk her home and she asks what time my train home is (45 minutes wait) so she actively insists I come in for a bit. We sit on her bed for a little chatting away and then when I leave we kissed and she said something along the lines of "ahh why did you wait until you were leaving to do that" whilst smirking insinuating she wanted me to kiss her earlier and was sad that I was now having to leave. We said we'd go hang out again. Since that night we briefly texted (yes text, not called. I'm 24 she's 22. Our generation texts, not calls before anyone says ha) and I suggested doing something for next week. She said "yessss that sounds fun" in a reply but since my last message I've not heard anything for 3 days. I know she's read it/been online since as we use Whatsapp which displays when last active. Before this it was back and forth every day. Is it normal for a girl to go so cold so quick after what seemed like a dead cert interest? Would you passionately kiss someone you weren't interested in? Or agree to a second date if you were just going to fade out? Surely she's had opportunities to make excuses here and hasn't done so am I overthinking things or just wasting my time? Thanks all
fitnessfan365 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 It's never a good idea to put a woman on the spot and try to make plans at the end of a date. Makes you come off as needy. Instead give 1-2 days, send her a quick text saying "The other night was fun. Let's do it again." Then you let her get back to you, and make plans then. By giving her a little bit of time to process the date, miss you, etc it makes her anticipate spending time with you again.
ThisisIt606 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 To any women on here, would you invite someone back to your house after a first date and then kiss them if you weren't interested? Last week I went on a fist date with a girl and as far as I can tell it went really well. She was constantly finding excuses to touch me (playfully hitting, touching my hands etc). Also noticed when we were sitting she made a conscious effort to make sure our legs were touching all the time. All good body language. Conversation was really good. Not a single awkward silence and lots of laughing. All in all, a great night. I walk her home and she asks what time my train home is (45 minutes wait) so she actively insists I come in for a bit. We sit on her bed for a little chatting away and then when I leave we kissed and she said something along the lines of "ahh why did you wait until you were leaving to do that" whilst smirking insinuating she wanted me to kiss her earlier and was sad that I was now having to leave. We said we'd go hang out again. Since that night we briefly texted (yes text, not called. I'm 24 she's 22. Our generation texts, not calls before anyone says ha) and I suggested doing something for next week. She said "yessss that sounds fun" in a reply but since my last message I've not heard anything for 3 days. I know she's read it/been online since as we use Whatsapp which displays when last active. Before this it was back and forth every day. Is it normal for a girl to go so cold so quick after what seemed like a dead cert interest? Would you passionately kiss someone you weren't interested in? Or agree to a second date if you were just going to fade out? Surely she's had opportunities to make excuses here and hasn't done so am I overthinking things or just wasting my time? Thanks all YOu suggested doing something next week and she said yes. She's waiting for you make the plans probably. Text her with a date! 4
SomeDude16 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Call her with concrete plans for your next date. She's waiting for you to do something.... 3
DoesntGetIt Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 She also wanted to fool around in her place and was let down that you didn't make any move the whole time (while sitting on her bed no less) and then went in for the kiss right before leaving. Make plans (do it more assertive, tell her a time and a place/what you're going to be doing, if she needs to do a different day she will say but this is clearly a girl who wants you to take the lead so just state it, don't ask it), and be a bit more bold the next time you're with her. 5
Author unbeknown Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 It's never a good idea to put a woman on the spot and try to make plans at the end of a date. Makes you come off as needy. Instead give 1-2 days, send her a quick text saying "The other night was fun. Let's do it again." Then you let her get back to you, and make plans then. By giving her a little bit of time to process the date, miss you, etc it makes her anticipate spending time with you again. I wouldn't really say I put her on the spot when asking, it just flowed naturally in the conversation 'during' our date. Also I always see the whole "wait 1-2 days" thing playing games. Something which I don't do. She took 2 hours to reply so I better take 4 otherwise I will come across needy - isn't really me. Needy people are needy. I'm not needy. I've just text her now so will see what comes of it (like I said, people my age where I am from do not call. If a guy called a girl here it would be weird and she would probably freak out). Still confused to why she would show so much interest and then become so cold so quick though. I know for a fact I wouldn't kiss a girl I wasn't interested in (even if I was drunk). I would depart the date with a simple hug and a thank you/goodbye.
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I wouldn't really say I put her on the spot when asking, it just flowed naturally in the conversation 'during' our date. Also I always see the whole "wait 1-2 days" thing playing games. Something which I don't do. She took 2 hours to reply so I better take 4 otherwise I will come across needy - isn't really me. Needy people are needy. I'm not needy. I've just text her now so will see what comes of it (like I said, people my age where I am from do not call. If a guy called a girl here it would be weird and she would probably freak out). Still confused to why she would show so much interest and then become so cold so quick though. I know for a fact I wouldn't kiss a girl I wasn't interested in (even if I was drunk). I would depart the date with a simple hug and a thank you/goodbye. Girls her age are known to be fickle.... It sucks, but no one said dating was easy.
bolase Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Pretty sure she is waiting for you to suggest/arrange a date. All she did was confirm that she wants to see you again. As a woman I want a guy to arrange at least the first couple of dates, after that I know he is interested and I'm happy to suggest something. 1
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Pretty sure she is waiting for you to suggest/arrange a date. All she did was confirm that she wants to see you again. As a woman I want a guy to arrange at least the first couple of dates, after that I know he is interested and I'm happy to suggest something. bolase I am the same but I am in my 30's. She is 22...and most girls that young usually don't know what the hell they want. They change their minds like the wind.... fickle. Not all of couse, and if you're in your early 20's and have that much clarity to know what you like/don't like, more power to ya!
MidwestUSA Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Still confused to why she would show so much interest and then become so cold so quick though. I know for a fact I wouldn't kiss a girl I wasn't interested in (even if I was drunk). I would depart the date with a simple hug and a thank you/goodbye. You didn't nail down a concrete second date, which means time, place and date. Ideally, you do this before the end of the first date, WAY prior to sitting on her bed. I agree with those who say she's waiting for you to firm things up. 'Wanna hang out again?' is not a firm date, whether in person, via text, or phone call. 2
DazedandConfused8 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I walk her home and she asks what time my train home is (45 minutes wait) so she actively insists I come in for a bit. We sit on her bed for a little chatting away and then when I leave we kissed and she said something along the lines of "ahh why did you wait until you were leaving to do that" whilst smirking insinuating she wanted me to kiss her earlier and was sad that I was now having to leave. We said we'd go hang out again. Since that night we briefly texted (yes text, not called. I'm 24 she's 22. Our generation texts, not calls before anyone says ha) and I suggested doing something for next week. She said "yessss that sounds fun" in a reply but since my last message I've not heard anything for 3 days. I know she's read it/been online since as we use Whatsapp which displays when last active. Before this it was back and forth every day. She's not cold! She was ready to sleep with you that night (you don't just "chat on the bed for a while") and she's ready to do something next week. You made the suggestion and she's up for it; she's waiting for you to make the plans. 1
Gary S Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Well, if a woman invites you into her bed, that's not a sign.... it's a giant, flashing neon billboard saying you should kiss her then. 4
freetolove Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 You might be moving too fast. I went on a first day with this great guy and he kissed me towards the end. It was nice and I was really attracted to him. He then asked me out again the next day and I felt a bit uncomfortable. I liked him and all, I was just thinking if he kissed me last time, what will he do next time? Expect sex. I'm in my early 30s already so it's still uncomfortable for me. Keep in mind I'm actually looking for a relationship and not a casual hookup. If a guy is moving to fast, I might think he's a man slut.
Author unbeknown Posted March 9, 2015 Author Posted March 9, 2015 She's not cold! She was ready to sleep with you that night (you don't just "chat on the bed for a while") and she's ready to do something next week. You made the suggestion and she's up for it; she's waiting for you to make the plans. 1 I wouldn't sleep with a girl on a first date if I wanted to see her again and 2 I only had 30 minutes before I had to leave to catch my train which doesn't give me a whole lot of time Thanks for all the replies though. I text her last night and mentioned a second date straight to the point. She replied saying Thursday works good for her. So I guess we'll just have to see if she does show up or flakes nearer the date. Fingers crossed!
catchthedrift Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 It seems she is the kind of girl who likes a man to calls the shots. She definitely is interested, so just go for it, make plans like the others on here said, and show her a good time Haha.
Author unbeknown Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 1 I wouldn't sleep with a girl on a first date if I wanted to see her again and 2 I only had 30 minutes before I had to leave to catch my train which doesn't give me a whole lot of time Thanks for all the replies though. I text her last night and mentioned a second date straight to the point. She replied saying Thursday works good for her. So I guess we'll just have to see if she does show up or flakes nearer the date. Fingers crossed! Aaaand she's flaked. She was going to be going to her parents this weekend hence the Thursday meet but has just informed me that she's sadly having to go today as she's had some bad news from home. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt (if she is using bad news relating to family matters as an excuse to fade me out then that's pretty sad). But where do I stand for attempting to reschedule? At the end of her message she said "I promise my conversation will be more shining in the future". No offering to meet next week instead but "In the future" Would sending a message on Monday be deemed okay in this situation? Obviously if it's serious bad news at home I don't want to be pushy. Cheers all
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