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Posted

I've recently gone through a breakup with my girlfriend of four years. It happened when she went to study abroad for a semester in London. I could sense her getting distant, and I knew what was coming so I called her and confronted her about it and we decided to go our separate ways.

 

The whole thing left me so confused about what happened to the girl I kissed and said goodbye to at the airport, the love we felt just seemed to disappear. I've been a little over a month strict NC, but I still find myself thinking about her constantly. I want nothing more than to reach out to her for answers to questions I know are irrelevant. I know I can't and won't break NC, but at the same time I'm so desperate to understand what happened to us that it tears me up inside.

 

I also tend to over analyze everything, and I often catch myself reliving the past in my mind (over and over), trying to understand what happened and also thinking about her and how she is doing through all this.

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Posted

There are days when I'm completely fine, and then days where I don't even have the motivation to get out of bed because i'm emotionally destroyed. I don't know what to do to get my mind off her and move on :(

Posted

Most likely another guy happened.

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Posted

You will more than likely never get your questions answered. Very often people don't know why they did something.

 

"It just seemed the right thing to do at the time."

 

You are grieving.

 

Eventually that process will be completed, and you'll be able to move on.

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Posted
Most likely another guy happened.

 

Other people have said this, but it's too painful for me to think about even if it's true. Close friends to me that are also friends with her have said that it isn't what happened and that there isn't some big truth that im unaware of, but my mind pings in all directions and sometimes I don't know how to feel so I just stare at the ceiling.

Posted
There are days when I'm completely fine, and then days where I don't even have the motivation to get out of bed because i'm emotionally destroyed. I don't know what to do to get my mind off her and move on :(

 

I don't have the answer, but I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way. This is literally what I battle with every single day. I also have been NC for a month, and want to reach out to her badly. I don't think I would, but I feel like I still need answers.

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Posted

There are two questions that I can't stop asking myself: 1.) when she started feeling like a break up was necessary, and 2.) just a general why, like why did you want to breakup.

 

The only thing she said to me was that she wasn't ready for a committed relationship. I can't stop my mind from thinking about what how or when things went bad.

Posted

1 and 2: because she stop caring about you and now she doesn't give a sh.it because she's probably having some passionate sex with her new crush. The end.

 

When you find yourself ruminating, Google something disgusting like maggots inside the mouth or infected limbs and stare at the pics for 10 seconds. Repeat when needed.

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Posted
1 and 2: because she stop caring about you and now she doesn't give a sh.it because she's probably having some passionate sex with her new crush. The end.

 

This could be the truth, but i'm not sure how ruminating over this scenario would help me at all. People, friends, even family have been talking about that as if it makes me feel better. Imagining her with another person or believing that's what happened hurts more than being ignorant.

Posted
This could be the truth, but i'm not sure how ruminating over this scenario would help me at all. *People, friends, even family have been talking about that as if it makes me feel better. Imagining her with another person or believing that's what happened hurts more than being ignorant.

 

She's no longer in your life, and you're no longer in hers.

 

*Invest your energy into the people who are in your life.

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