what if the person you're dating asks you how many sexual partners you had?

[NJ123]

I do not see why they would not care as I explained why they have a right to know

 

Yeah true, but than the woman would need to speak about her own past. Would she lie or tell the truth if she was promiscuous?

[Mangina]

Yeah true, but than the woman would need to speak about her own past. Would she lie or tell the truth if she was promiscuous?

 

I guess this would be a problem for promiscuous girls then.

[Mangina]

I definitely don't speak for all women, but I definitely care about a man's past. I don't want to be with a guy who's banged every chick in town. It's just not for me.

 

I'd much prefer a virgin than a man who's been with many women. I think perhaps 1-3 women before me would be an ideal number.

 

This is why I think girls have a right to know a guy's past

[Phoe]

This is why I think girls have a right to know a guy's past

 

Realistically, I've never asked, but Everytime a guy has asked me, following my answer, he gives his answer. Then we moved on to something else. It was never a topic of analyzation, just small talk in a sense...

[SomeDude16]

"Wanna Go to Bed With Me?" (a.k.a. "Get Away from Me, Creep" vs. "Where Do I Sign*Up?") - | - Science of Relationships

 

Theres a study for everything these days!

 

ehhh, its an interesting read but the study is flawed...

 

The study's operate under the assumption that women and men are proposing sex to each other casually and to strangers. Completely different context then someone you go on a date with and establish an emotional or intellectual connection with. All the study showed is that women are less likely to have sex with strangers. I'd still say it's "bro Science".

[Leigh 87]

I definitely don't speak for all women, but I definitely care about a man's past. I don't want to be with a guy who's banged every chick in town. It's just not for me.

 

I'd much prefer a virgin than a man who's been with many women. I think perhaps 1-3 women before me would be an ideal number.

 

 

 

Interesting.

 

My good friend is with a guy who is absolutely crazy about her! From day one he was smitten!

 

He adores her to no end and is fiercely loyal and they have a dream relationship.

 

He also happens to have had a lot of sexual partners and yet he has treated my friend SO much better than many, many low count men...

 

I have never seen a man who was so loyal and devoted and head over heels about their partner!

 

You are loosing out on some great guys Phoe if you discount them because they have slept around!

 

My friends bf KNEW she was special because he HAD a lot of experience and therefore he knew when that "special" girl came along.

 

One can argue that men with no to no experience simply don't know what they want as much as a man who slept around and sowed his wild oats and therefore knows when someone is a bit special out of the many women he has tried out....

[Leigh 87]

I guess this would be a problem for promiscuous girls then.

 

 

Excuse me,

 

I am not a promiscuous girl.

 

I was 10 years ago

 

For 8 years I have NOT been promiscuous.

 

A girl who has a high number IS NOT always promiscuous at this point in time!

[Phoe]

You are loosing out on some great guys Phoe if you discount them because they have slept around!

 

I assure you, I am discounting no one, as I've never been pursued by a man who's had many partners, but I would be lying to say that I didn't care. I DO prefer that he have fewer partners. Doesn't mean I would pass up an absolutely wonderful guy. Especially considering I don't actually ask for the info, it simply ends up given to me.

 

If a man stayed quiet, I'd never know. And that's okay too.

[Leigh 87]

True, but on the flip side women judge guys for their lack of sexual experience. There's always going to be double standards with a lot of things. Also, as I pointed out women said they would instantly dump a guy because he takes meds for mild depression. And if he doesn't say anything about it, that's considered even worse to the woman because he's a liar. So either way he's screwed with those women. So in other words, everyone has their own discriminations in the dating world. You need to find a guy that doesn't care about your sexual past, just like I need to find a woman that doesn't care about my lack of one as well as few other things.

 

 

 

Actually, I am not a judgmental pig and I wouldn't care if a guy was a virgin!

 

I prefer men with experience as I feel it makes them more aware of what they do and don't want but I would never rule out a man due to his sexual past!

 

I wouldn't rule out men who take depression meds or who smoke even though I quit....

 

NO man has EVER asked me about my sexual past, because I ACT like a lady and I ACT like I want a committed relationship! Even met I slept with early on dates - they knew I was into them and they knew what I was about... The one player even told me " I can tell you are a good girl Leigh looking for the right person to sleep with but that isn't me and I don't want to hurt you"

 

NO man has ever asked me of my sexual past, because well, I guess I don't act like I want to go and scre w every dick and harry out there.

 

My exes NEVER cared about my high number which is in the 20s I would venture to guess.

[Echo74]

I really do not see the problem with this question. But it would depend how long you've been dating and how serious things are as to whether its rude or snoopy to ask. I think if you're having sex with them they sort of have a right to hear the truth. You can either be honest, or tell them you feel uncomfortable to answer. Lying about it just makes you a prick

 

Huh?! Um, NO one has the "right" to know how many partners anyone has. How many partners you've had doesn't necessary indicate who you are. NO ONE ever asked me that question and if they did, I would know he was not a true gentleman and NOT the type of person I'd want in my life. Some things are just not meant to be shared with others and that's one of them. I wonder if the younger people are simply different than the older posters and there are no boundaries.

[Mangina]

Huh?! Um, NO one has the "right" to know how many partners anyone has. How many partners you've had doesn't necessary indicate who you are. NO ONE ever asked me that question and if they did, I would know he was not a true gentleman and NOT the type of person I'd want in my life. Some things are just not meant to be shared with others and that's one of them. I wonder if the younger people are simply different than the older posters and there are no boundaries.

 

Do you feel like you have the right to know how many partners a guy has had? I feel you do have the right to know and for good reason.

[SawtoothMars]

Interesting

My good friend is with a guy who is absolutely crazy about her! From day one he was smitten!

He adores her to no end and is fiercely loyal and they have a dream relationship.

He also happens to have had a lot of sexual partners and yet he has treated my friend SO much better than many, many low count men...

I have never seen a man who was so loyal and devoted and head over heels about their partner!

You are loosing out on some great guys Phoe if you discount them because they have slept around

My friends bf KNEW she was special because he HAD a lot of experience and therefore he knew when that "special" girl came along.

One can argue that men with no to no experience simply don't know what they want as much as a man who slept around and sowed his wild oats and therefore knows when someone is a bit special out of the many women he has tried out....

 

No... she isn't missing out on anyone. Phoe has a right to choose what kind of man she wants to date... and this is something that is important to her.

 

Your "friend" has not been down the longhaul with this guy. I know low and high number men and I'm going to be honest... the high number men are usually great at getting women to believe things that are not true.

 

Also... I didn't "sew wild oats" before I got married at 20. I didn't even date in high school because of my family. Do you think I didn't know what I wanted? Do you think your special if you can somehow change Captain Manwhore into relationship material? Dream on.

 

It's actually much more likely that with vast experience men just learn that no woman is special.

 

Excuse me,

I am not a promiscuous girl.

I was 10 years ago

For 8 years I have NOT been promiscuous.

A girl who has a high number IS NOT always promiscuous at this point in time!

 

You can stop being promiscuous but that doesn't mean you stop being a nutter!

 

Let's be totally honest here. Most PEOPLE who sleep around have mental/emotional disorders.

[SawtoothMars]

Huh?! Um, NO one has the "right" to know how many partners anyone has. How many partners you've had doesn't necessary indicate who you are. NO ONE ever asked me that question and if they did, I would know he was not a true gentleman and NOT the type of person I'd want in my life. Some things are just not meant to be shared with others and that's one of them. I wonder if the younger people are simply different than the older posters and there are no boundaries.

 

It's true that nobody has a right to know, but they also have the right to choose what kind of person they date.

 

Also... cut the "true gentleman" crap! I'm sick of women bitching on and on about slut shaming... and then turning around and then trying to shame men in the exact same way.

 

If a guy says a "good woman" doesn't ______... and you say a "good man" doesn't ______. What's the difference?

[guest569]

Huh?! Um, NO one has the "right" to know how many partners anyone has. How many partners you've had doesn't necessary indicate who you are. NO ONE ever asked me that question and if they did, I would know he was not a true gentleman and NOT the type of person I'd want in my life. Some things are just not meant to be shared with others and that's one of them. I wonder if the younger people are simply different than the older posters and there are no boundaries.

 

Haha, I said they have the right to hear the truth. Not be lied to or told "I'm choosing not to tell you that" i also said nothing about the number indicating who a person is.

 

It's just the way i view my relationships, no secrets and we talk to each other about anything. Maybe it is us "younger people" but I think a lot of young people on its thread disagree.

 

Anyway i really hope OP is not too freaked by the strong reactions from all on this thread. I would like to hear more. For all we know, he may never ask, may not have any interest whatsoever. But if he does, hopefully you're in a place where you wont be afraid to be honest with him and that your relationship is stronger than that. For someone to flee a great relationship because of that (history) is pretty poor in my opinion.

[lohnjennon]

AHHHHHHH!

just got back to my thread and it counts 8 pages of heated discussion..... let me go through them and comment:

 

 

I'm comfortable enough to not be concerned with size, performance, or how good looking her other "suitors" may have been. Don't get me wrong there's definitely ego attached to my rationale, but I don't think its fair to dismiss how myself and probably a lot of other men feel about being with a woman who had been promiscuous. Im not talking about a couple drunk one night stands, I mean really promiscuous. Like the mother of your children being double penetrated and glazed in sperm every weekend when she was in college.

 

I can't accept that. Like whelp she's with me now. I suppose I'm just not big enough to overlook someone with a bad past. Like I said earlier though you may never get an honest answer.

 

what entails a "bad past"?

how do I know how many sex partners is too many so my boyfriend might be turned off by it? or might even dump me for it?

i mean, i have spent a great amount of my life in relationships, but i always rebounded a lot, especially in my late teens after my first two real bad breakups. it's not like i got 'double penetrated and glazed in sperm every weekend when i was in college', like you said. actually, i have never experimented with more than one guy, never done anything crazy, except some kinky stuff with my most recent exboyfriend, who was really open.

i am just saying, i feel my boyfriend might think less of me if i tell him how many sex partners i had, i just feel it wouldn't be right to tell him the 'real' number... but i also think lying is bad.

 

 

 

Au contraire - wouldnt you want to know if the person is going to judge you on the number of partners you have slept with? Its doing you a favour if they reveal themselves to be that type of person. You can both move on.

 

exactly, i really want to know if he'd judge me. but it's not like i can ask "so, would you judge me if the number was high?" -- that just gives it away.

 

 

 

That's fair to say, but I don't think many men would be okay with having a relationship with a woman that has been involved in a gang bang or a threesome with two guys at the same time.

 

I didn't want to say this, but I will. This is a bit hypocritical in terms of that thread about illnesses. If a guy hides that he has mild depression & takes a small dose of an antidepressant that's not okay & is grounds for ending the relationship, but if a woman lies about having sex with 100 different guys than that's perfectly fine. Sure, whatever.

 

Ok, i didnt have sex with 100 different guys, that's more than double of what i have experienced. i have friends who tell me they slept with 200 women/men or so, and i wonder, how is that even possible... but some people just go out a lot and meet a lot of 'potential' sex partners and go for it...

i personally couldn't be with a man who had been with that many women.

then again, my ex-boyfriend has probably been with about that many, but he never told me. he also told me he pretended he was my first. really lame.

that's just denial, isn't it?

 

 

 

Well, that is on YOU.

 

YOU are insecure and distrust a formerly promiscuous woman by default - that they would very well be into you and find you MORE than enough for them! The right woman would think you WERE very "special" - and women with high numbers are capable of thinking you're "special"

 

I have a high number because I was promiscuous in my late teens.

 

Back when I had a lot of partners on a regular basis - I really hated myself at the time. I never enjoyed the sex. I felt gross. After and during the fact. I did it as a form of self destruction.

 

The 8 years after my promiscuous year or two as a teen - I have been ONLY in long term relationships lasting 5 -6 years all up, and since then I ONLY sleep with men that I like enough to have a relationship with. Although I have learnt men can lie and forge unauthentic attachments in order to get sex from a girl who is really into them - and therefore, I refrain from early sex now at all costs....

 

I was promiscuous for farrrr less of my adult life than I have been a "good girl" with the same man for years at a time.

 

I am extremely loyal and loving and I now view sex as an act of expression of love between me and a man I happen to, well, love.

 

You're selling yourself short if you ONLY gravitate towards women who have low numbers - us high number women often change and reform our ways, and we are every bit as capable of viewing you as "special" in the manner with which a low numbers girl would....

 

I have met many loyal and loving wives who had a high number who adore their partners - and then I have met total nightmare - low number girls, who treat their partners like CR!P despite their " low numbers"

 

 

this pretty much sums it up for me, i feel the same way. i have been very loyal and monogamous over the past 8 years or so but before that was quite the promiscuous teen. i have never done crazy stuff but i did have many one night stands at the time. i remember every name of every man i have ever been with, and i know every surname too.

 

SO WHILE WE ARE AT IT, GUYS... TELL ME, HOW BIG OF A NUMBER IS... TOO BIG?

 

because as much as this thread has unfolded into an interesting collection of opinions regarding if someone would judge another person for having had many sexual partners, we didn't really establish how many would be too many, in such cases? i guess i'd like to know where i stand... especially because my partner has hinted at this question and has opened up to me that he hasn't had many sex partners (under 10), and he is in his mid-30s, a bit older than me.

 

 

OP, how long have you been together? If you're both in love with each other and looking towards a future together, i highly doubt that he would be upset by this aspect of your past?

 

we have been together almost half a year. we do love each other and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. we are open about everything so i feel it would be weird if i'd lie in this department. i am very afraid of being judged. he might say it is fine but deep inside might think of me being with other men and be turned off. that is what i am afraid of, that he won't be able to 'get over it' or just see it as a 'thing that's part of my past'...

 

I don't care about the number really (unless its something completely outrageous...) what I care about is the quality of the partner she is choosing? Is the choice to sleep with them a sober or drunk one? Are these guys people of good or questionable character? Information like that is far more valuable to me then a number.... Just my opinion.

 

what would you suggest is 'completely outrageous'?

 

 

Anyway i really hope OP is not too freaked by the strong reactions from all on this thread. I would like to hear more. For all we know, he may never ask, may not have any interest whatsoever. But if he does, hopefully you're in a place where you wont be afraid to be honest with him and that your relationship is stronger than that. For someone to flee a great relationship because of that (history) is pretty poor in my opinion.

 

he has hinted at it; he has told me how many women he had been with. so now i feel sort of like he wants me to tell him too, even though he hasn't straight forwardly asked the question yet.

[kendahke]

Oh and lol at: ''its none of my sexual partner's business how many people I have slept with". Like saying "its none of my dentist's business who my doctor is"

 

Non sequitur.

 

The only thing they need to know is that you dont' have any STD's. The rest of it is their insecurities and they need a therapist, not a new partner.

 

It's none of their business as it has nothing to do with them. For me, this question would be the fastest route to me putting them out and slamming the door behind them.

Edited March 8, 2015 by kendahke

[road]

There is a thread on here about 'would you date a virgin in his 20s' - a few women categorically answered no, so it does matter to some. Same goes for a thread about penis size, some women wont accept anything less than 6 inches or whatever. Different strokes for different folks, but it exists and it matters. Its hard to say those people are wrong in wanting certain requirements of their partner, even number of partners. Its when the judgement is expressed in a cruel way that its out of order.

 

 

 

Damn bee-itches, they must be feminazi's.

[PrettyEmily77]

I've never been asked and I've never asked myself but if it just happens to come up in a conversation I'd tell and wouldn't care if the guy gave me his number back; I'd rather not know, TBH. Like a lot of other posters said, if asked directly I'd answer honestly and slam the door to his face in the same breath.

 

 

There is no valid justification to this question IMO; I've never been the same lover with any of my exes and my fantasies and expectations change depending on the guy I'm with so my sexual past doesn't affect my present. People' views on sex change as they age and I don't want to judge someone for things they did when I wasn't around. How they act with me is what I care about.

[Leigh 87]

What baffles me is,

 

High number people... Are not " certain types of people"

 

 

I know many high number women AND men, who currently have the same outlook on love sex and relationships, as LOW number individuals...

 

I also know low count people who changed and started to cheat/sleep around and the like...

 

The men who cheated I know of, were low count men... who didn't get to sow their wild oats.

 

The high count men I know of - they took longer to settle down but once they did, they fell hard for the girl and ended up the HAPPIEST...because out of ALL the women they had been with, the ONE girl who DID make them want to settle down had to stand out from a large selection of women. They literally slept around until one day, a woman made them go weak at the knees.

 

So lets not make generalisations.

 

Remarks like " she has a right to select the types of men she gets involved with"

 

High number men and women are NOT certain types. How rude. Many of them assign the same value to sex as does low count individuals.

[road]

But then there's a real problem isn't there because if we're all sitting around with our legs crossed waiting for a marriage proposal who's having sex with all you testosterone loaded individuals in the meantime?

 

Guys complain women don't give sex freely enough and they can't get it as often as then want. Then come out and freely admit they judge all the women who do give them sex for doing so. Great rationale there. You're welcome to maintain this way of thinking but I think you'll discover a continuation of the current trend. Women deciding that being with a man and having his babies isn't worth her time and finding other things to do in life. Which seems to be the trend in affluent nations if birthrates are anything to go by.

 

Frankly we're just sick of playing this stupid game with you. Our sexual needs are easily catered for without needing to live the judgements of some guys fragile ego.

 

More people want an Escalade then a Vega.

 

 

However there are more people that can afford a Vega then there are people that can afford an Escalade.

 

 

As with getting laid. There are the guys that can walk out of bar every Saturday night with a "10" and get laid.

 

 

Then there are the men that always leave the bar the way they went in, without a woman.

 

 

So it is normal for men to always be complaining that the want to get laid. They want something that is of high value and that is not given up easy to all.

 

 

Remember, as with anything of value. It is those things that are hard to come by that are held high on value.

 

 

So in general when someone does not hold themselves high in value they can not expect others to do so.

 

 

People should never ask a question that they do not want to hear the answer.

 

 

However if they ask such a question there are only two acceptable answers. To state they will not talk about their past or to be honest. To lie about the "number" is not acceptable. For building a relationship on lies is never right and the truth all too often comes out years later. With problems that could of been avoided if honesty was the rule.

 

 

People that do not want to say there number is ok. Just be honest state that subject is off limits.

 

 

Though are they being honest as to why they do not want to reveal their number. They do not want to be judged they claim. Yet they have no problems to make judgments as to whether they will date a man. Then whether at the end of the date do they give up anything.

 

 

How come it is ok for then to judge yet wrong for them to be judged?

 

 

If a woman does not want to admit to a high number then why did she let the count get high in the first place?

 

 

If one wants to be perceived as an Escalade then why run around as a Vega?

 

 

People place a value on themselves.

 

 

Society places a value on them.

[road]

Realistically, how many women have been tag teamed?

 

I don't think it's terribly common.

 

 

 

 

Can you say how many have not been tag teamed?

 

 

If your answer is a I do not know then you should not answer even a not that common. For even it is only 1 in a billion. It is a man's right to know that if it is something that would make him not want to have that woman as a wife.

 

 

For the world always seems to put that guy and that woman together.

[insert_name]

Except it's not remotely part of who I am. What? You think once a man sticks his weenie inside of a woman, something intrinsic about that woman changes to accommodate this "spectacular" event?

 

 

The very point is that my sexual history has nothing to do with who I am. I don't judge myself badly on my sexual history at all. It is what it is. However, I know that other people judge people based on their sexual history and typically, someone who asks such a question, will likely be one of those people.

 

 

I can't count the number of threads I've read on other forums where this is cited as the problem. "I asked her number and now I don't know what to do because I think less of her now I know..." and I'm willing to bet there's a fair few of those very threads lurking around here.

 

What I mean is that its like your age - it is what it is and you cant just say "I'm going to be 21 from tomorrow onwards, just because." It doesnt make any sense that people are so touchy about it unless it bothers them.

[Snaggletooth]

Except it's not remotely part of who I am.

What? You think once a man sticks his weenie inside of a woman, something intrinsic about that woman changes to accommodate this "spectacular" event?

 

 

The very point is that my sexual history has nothing to do with who I am. I don't judge myself badly on my sexual history at all. It is what it is. However, I know that other people judge people based on their sexual history and typically, someone who asks such a question, will likely be one of those people.

 

 

I can't count the number of threads I've read on other forums where this is cited as the problem. "I asked her number and now I don't know what to do because I think less of her now I know..." and I'm willing to bet there's a fair few of those very threads lurking around here.

 

That's not entirely true, our sexual past is part of who we are. I'm in my forties but have never has sex with a woman I didn't love. I'm old fashioned like that. Were I not like that numbers could be high, the opportunities have always been there, I'm just not wired that way, it's part of who I am. I've never viewed sex as a toy, game, sport or something to share with anyone less than a someone I love, trust and respect. There's no right or wrong in that. Others can be different, there's no right or wrong in that either. There's no rule book saying what we have to be. It's our choice, it's part of who we are. Our choices , values and experiences make us who we are.

 

Personally, I would be slower to become involved with a women who has a promiscuous past because of possible future incompatibility stemming from differing values. I wouldn't think less of her as a person but I would wonder if we were suited for the long haul. Also, there are certain human qualities and characteristics that I apply to myself that would involve no double standard if I preferred the same in a partner. Our past actions are often a strong indicator that our current words carry weight. So words should meet actions.

 

I've never asked a woman about her sexual past. The information has always been volunteered. If that information is later discovered to be a lie given in order to present a false image it would cause big problems. The relationship would have been based on a wilful, voluntary act of deception and I would have no option other than to consider her not entirely trustworthy. That, for me, would be an infinitely bigger problem than the fact she was once promiscuous.

 

OP, if your boyfriend asks I think it would be best to be honest. You don't have to give details but to progress a relationship on a lie would not be wise. All you have to say is what you said here. That you battled depression and went through a phase when younger that you now somewhat regret. Contradicting revelations further down the line will breed distrust.

 

For what it's worth I picked up a criminal record when I was young. Not a one time offence either. I have no shame nor pride in that. I used to be the kind of fella who would cross the street to defend someone being mugged, raped, abused etc and I was never afeared of matching the attackers violence to do so. Some people have a problem with that history, it goes against their values. Some don't have a problem. Others admire it. Either way, I let any potential partner know about it early and allow them to make their decision. It's my past, I own it and I live with it, even if being honest about it negatively affects my future. It's part of who I was and created who I am. If I am to blend my life with someone on a permanent life changing basis they have every right to know who I was and am.

 

If someone is contemplating changing their life for us we should be able to respect them enough to allow them to base their decision on truth. Especially if we suspect that truth is something that goes against our partner's preferences and values or is a definite deal breaker. If we don't think they can be understanding of our past then we should also question if they are the right person for us.

[road]

As a former high numbers girl (I slept around 10 years ago approximately) but have fooled around too early with a few men I have been really into but NO sex bar one or two in the past year.... So now I don't even fool around with men. I am waiting until I meet relationship material.

 

I can't stress enough how the two years I slept around 10 years ago has NO bearing over my outlook on sex as it stands.

 

I have had 3 - 4 dates per week with hot guys for months now - and despite chemistry and getting along great with some - I STILL only got physical with the men I really felt I liked and had potential with. And it was never really sex just fooling about most of the time.

 

Some myths about formerly promiscuous women:

 

- we have different "values" to low count men/women.

 

^^^ ummm, my good friend is a good Christian girl. Our values surrounding men and sex are the same; we are both waiting for the right guys and we don't wish to have sex unless we have strong feelings/are in love - and the guy proves to us he is going to stick around.

 

Sex and even getting physical for me, is only something I have any inclination to do when in a relationship. It is feelings based and emotionally driven.

 

I literally have recoiled from the touch of men who were "hot" and lovely seeming, yet I had no connection or "it factor" with.

 

- We must love sleeping around on a regular basis

 

Again - I was promiscuous 10 years ago. I do not enjoy sleeping around, and haven't done for the past 10 years. I got physical too early and had sex once or twice since single but only because I was super into the guy and I had feelings for them and wanted to date them seriously.

 

- Greater risk of STI's

 

I have gotten tested and get tested after each new sexual partner.

 

- We must pick up every time we go out

 

Yeah.... again, ten years ago I was like that. Now I go out plenty of times per year and never pick up. I get a number or two and hope for the best -that they are dating material.

 

I tell them no thanks every time when they ask for just sex, no matter how into them I am.

 

- We mustn't think our current guys are that special

 

The guys I date I am really into. Despite my extensive experience with men in the bedroom, the man I choose is the only man I even think about!

 

I hold out or men I am really into. My past just doesn't occur to me as something to draw from when I am with a NEW sexual partner (a person I am dating).

 

- We are more likely to stray

 

Right. I have never cheated. My low number ex did, I wrote all about it on here:lmao:

 

I am 28 so what I did as a teen, and the fact I have made some bad decisions surrounding early sex in the past 6 months that I have been single, doesn't mean I am "promiscuous". In fact, I get propositioned by guys I am very attracted to on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis. They offer no strings attached fun. It sickens me and I'd rather eat glass then open my legs for a man whom I had no true romantic connection with:sick:

 

If I, as a high number girl, was promiscuous NOW, to this day, I would have taken many opportunities each WEEK - to sleep with new men. Since attractive men regularly offer up sex to me in no uncertain terms. Take a look at a women's CURRENT mindset and outlook. Plenty of women settle down and suddenly feel ill at the thought of mindless sex with a man who just wants to use them as an orifice for the night:sick:

 

Stop judging people for the past when it is not an issue that governs their CURRENT mindset. Not all promiscuous people STAY in that mindset.

 

 

 

So you have now learned to be selective. Which is good. You now place a high value on yourself. Though it will never lower your count.

[road]

I've never been asked and I've never asked myself but if it just happens to come up in a conversation I'd tell and wouldn't care if the guy gave me his number back; I'd rather not know, TBH. Like a lot of other posters said, if asked directly I'd answer honestly and slam the door to his face in the same breath.

 

 

There is no valid justification to this question IMO; I've never been the same lover with any of my exes and my fantasies and expectations change depending on the guy I'm with so my sexual past doesn't affect my present. People' views on sex change as they age and I don't want to judge someone for things they did when I wasn't around. How they act with me is what I care about.

 

 

 

The problem is not how you feel, how your past effects who you are with now, that your views changed.

 

 

The problem is you can not accept that others have different values.

 

 

Example you would dump the perfect man if he asked your number and it was 10 and he had no problem with 10. Just because he needed to know your number you would dump him.