what if the person you're dating asks you how many sexual partners you had?

[Lucko]

That's fair to say, but I don't think many men would be okay with having a relationship with a woman that has been involved in a gang bang or a threesome with two guys at the same time.

 

I didn't want to say this, but I will. This is a bit hypocritical in terms of that thread about illnesses. If a guy hides that he has mild depression & takes a small dose of an antidepressant that's not okay & is grounds for ending the relationship, but if a woman lies about having sex with 100 different guys than that's perfectly fine. Sure, whatever.

 

There's double standards everywhere. If you're on the wrong side of them, it won't be easy.

[Lucko]

I think you can save yourself asking for the number and just know that if you feel like asking the number -- you're definitely not the best. Because nothing is more of a turnoff than that type of insecurity and yes, it is evident in bed.

 

That said, since women don't seem to be so sexually focused, just because a guy is the best in bed doesn't mean that's the one she wants to stay with and just because one isn't doesn't mean that she won't love him more than anybody else despite his lack of game in bed.

 

Don't ask the number but don't be mad if the number is out of range, whether it's large or none.

[insert_name]

I agree. And it frequently is expressed in a cruel way towards women. Communicating to someone that they are unclean and unworthy as s result of sexual experience is not kindness. If you know that your past is going to be used to denigrate you, why reveal it? The fact that the men on this thread have the overwhelming advice to conceal or lie about it, tells me something very important about the mentality of men in general.

 

Au contraire - wouldnt you want to know if the person is going to judge you on the number of partners you have slept with? Its doing you a favour if they reveal themselves to be that type of person. You can both move on.

[NJ123]

There's double standards everywhere. If you're on the wrong side of them, it won't be easy.

 

Of course. But if women can lie about this without any problem, why can't a guy lie about taking medication in general? That's technically none of their business either unless it's for a severe illness which than they should say something under that circumstance.

[runredlights]

But then there's a real problem isn't there because if we're all sitting around with our legs crossed waiting for a marriage proposal who's having sex with all you testosterone loaded individuals in the meantime?

 

Guys complain women don't give sex freely enough and they can't get it as often as then want. Then come out and freely admit they judge all the women who do give them sex for doing so. Great rationale there. You're welcome to maintain this way of thinking but I think you'll discover a continuation of the current trend. Women deciding that being with a man and having his babies isn't worth her time and finding other things to do in life. Which seems to be the trend in affluent nations if birthrates are anything to go by.

 

Frankly we're just sick of playing this stupid game with you. Our sexual needs are easily catered for without needing to live the judgements of some guys fragile ego.

 

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you. My ego isn't fragily only firm. I know where I stand on the issue and I don't want some ex slooot for a girlfriend or wife. In the dating world you can indiscriminately discriminate whatever traits you like in a partner and people like myself really aren't comfortable being with someone whose had an enormous number of partners and there isn't anything wrong with that.

 

That was funny about the "catering your needs" thing. Touché.

Wouldn't it be great if I could just open my legs to get sex too? Holy hell.

[Lucko]

Of course. But if women can lie about this without any problem, why can't a guy lie about taking medication in general? That's technically none of their business either unless it's for a severe illness which than they should say something under that circumstance.

 

What is or isn't someone's business depends on who's asked. It's not fair but who's on the wrong side, it depends.

[insert_name]

Our sexual needs are easily catered for

 

And therein lies the rub.

[Buddhist]

Au contraire - wouldnt you want to know if the person is going to judge you on the number of partners you have slept with? Its doing you a favour if they reveal themselves to be that type of person. You can both move on.

 

I can easily detect that he is this guy, if he's even asking the question, he's this guy. I don't need to answer that question to know it's time to move on.

[Lucko]

I can easily detect that he is this guy, if he's even asking the question, he's this guy. I don't need to answer that question to know it's time to move on.

 

How do you know this?

[sagamore]

I think you can save yourself asking for the number and just know that if you feel like asking the number -- you're definitely not the best. Because nothing is more of a turnoff than that type of insecurity and yes, it is evident in bed.

 

That said, since women don't seem to be so sexually focused, just because a guy is the best in bed doesn't mean that's the one she wants to stay with and just because one isn't doesn't mean that she won't love him more than anybody else despite his lack of game in bed.

 

So many assumptions here!

 

Signed, A "Sexually Focused" Woman With Zero Insecurity About Discussing Numbers

[Buddhist]

Wouldn't it be great if I could just open my legs to get sex too? Holy hell.

 

So it's a jealousy thing with you then?

[NJ123]

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you. My ego isn't fragily only firm. I know where I stand on the issue and I don't want some ex slooot for a girlfriend or wife. In the dating world you can indiscriminately discriminate whatever traits you like in a partner and people like myself really aren't comfortable being with someone whose had an enormous number of partners and there isn't anything wrong with that.

 

That was funny about the "catering your needs" thing. Touché.

Wouldn't it be great if I could just open my legs to get sex too? Holy hell.

 

Lack of experience is my main reason admittedly. But I can't lie part of it is due to some of the things you stated such as not wanting the mother of my kids to have been tag teamed by guys in the past or involved in some really crazy sexual stuff that I wouldn't be comfortable with. Just like it's their right to have whatever sex & how much they want, it's my right to not want to be with someone due to their sexual past. My lack of sexual past has turned women off too so it goes both ways in that regard.

[Phoe]

Lack of experience is my main reason admittedly. But I can't lie part of it is due to some of the things you stated such as not wanting the mother of my kids to have been tag teamed by guys in the past or involved in some really crazy sexual stuff that I wouldn't be comfortable with. Just like it's their right to have whatever sex & how much they want, it's my right to not want to be with someone due to their sexual past. My lack of sexual past has turned women off too so it goes both ways in that regard.

 

Realistically, how many women have been tag teamed?

 

I don't think it's terribly common.

[sagamore]

See that would make me cringe. That's great how you guys are so open, but that seems bizarre that you share "war stories".

 

Actually, it's pretty funny. We just have a laugh about it all. I remember once asking my husband how many virgins he'd slept with; he thought about it for a minute and deadpanned, "That's not a number I can readily call to mind." We both totally cracked up. And then there's the one where my bed collapsed while I was with some guy for the first time. Anxious to save the moment, I jumped up and said, "no worries! I can fix it - it's happened before." Cue look of horror on the guy's face as he yelled, "what do you mean, it's happened BEFORE??"

[NJ123]

Realistically, how many women have been tag teamed?

 

I don't think it's terribly common.

 

A lot of women in College do a lot of crazy ****.

[Maleficent]

Whats the difference between that and judging a mans worth based on whether he lives in his parents basement? They are essentially the same except one is socially acceptable to the sisterhood and the other isnt.

 

If the cap fits - wear it.

 

There's no difference. Both are not ok. Not sure why you're quoting me there

[Phoe]

A lot of women in College do a lot of crazy ****.

 

 

I can think of maybe ONE woman that I know from college who I would suggest might have at least considered such a setup. Very sexually adventurous, tall blonde bombshell that men gravitated towards.

 

Otherwise, I'd say no, none of the rest of them would have.

 

2 of my college friends were virgins. 1 of them still is!

 

The funny thing about the stereotypes of college women, is that men are quite considerably paying most of their attention to those women that would do "crazy ****". IMO, they're a minority. The totally normal women who never did crazy things are wallflowers in comparison. Don't get noticed.

 

It's logical really, who's gonna notice the woman who behaves normally when there's a woman behaving in some really attention catching ways, right in plain view?

[runredlights]

So it's a jealousy thing with you then?

 

I think I disagreed with your viewpoint and you then said the catering needs thing out of spite. It's not jealousy for me I was just trying to make a joke and undermine you feeling so westernized and liberated about having that skill. Like if you were in X-men your special skill would be opening your legs.

 

Are you proud that you can have men come and "cater your needs?" It can't be all that difficult.

[insert_name]

Lack of experience is my main reason admittedly. But I can't lie part of it is due to some of the things you stated such as not wanting the mother of my kids to have been tag teamed by guys in the past or involved in some really crazy sexual stuff that I wouldn't be comfortable with. Just like it's their right to have whatever sex & how much they want, it's my right to not want to be with someone due to their sexual past. My lack of sexual past has turned women off too so it goes both ways in that regard.

 

Yup. I'm reminded of that Bill Hicks sketch about porn on hotel TV where the voiceover dude is like "Call 1-800-SCREW to see the woman of your dreams" and Bill Hicks is all like "Call me old fashioned but the woman of my dreams doesn't do stuff like that on TV". I have a similar attitude to numbers. Cant say I feel bad about it as I have been judged on what I offer and thats fine- its the other person's perogative to do that.

[NJ123]

 

I can think of maybe ONE woman that I know from college who I would suggest might have at least considered such a setup. Very sexually adventurous, tall blonde bombshell that men gravitated towards.

 

Otherwise, I'd say no, none of the rest of them would have.

 

2 of my college friends were virgins. 1 of them still is!

 

The funny thing about the stereotypes of college women, is that men are quite considerably paying most of their attention to those women that would do "crazy ****". IMO, they're a minority. The totally normal women who never did crazy things are wallflowers in comparison. Don't get noticed.

 

It's logical really, who's gonna notice the woman who behaves normally when there's a woman behaving in some really attention catching ways, right in plain view?

 

Well, at the end of the day who will ever know for sure? Since a lot of women don't want to talk about their sexual past.

[insert_name]

There's no difference. Both are not ok. Not sure why you're quoting me there

 

Well, thats controversial! From all I have read on here there is nothing worse you can be than a guy living with his parents, so I have a hard time believing that women can look past that when deciding whether a guy is dateable.

[Maleficent]

I think I disagreed with your viewpoint and you then said the catering needs thing out of spite. It's not jealousy for me I was just trying to make a joke and undermine you feeling so westernized and liberated about having that skill. Like if you were in X-men your special skill would be opening your legs.

 

Are you proud that you can have men come and "cater your needs?" It can't be all that difficult.

 

Why does it matter, really? Why are some men so bothered by the fact women can have more sex than them more easily?

 

The reason why it's so easy for women to get sex is because a lot of men will bang everyone and anyone - and they are not afraid to say it either.

 

At least we are a little more selective

[Maleficent]

Well, thats controversial! From all I have read on here there is nothing worse you can be than a guy living with his parents, so I have a hard time believing that women can look past that when deciding whether a guy is dateable.

 

Well the frustration you feel about this is the same frustration we are feeling towards slut shaming.

[NJ123]

Why does it matter, really? Why are some men so bothered by the fact women can have more sex than them more easily?

 

The reason why it's so easy for women to get sex is because a lot of men will bang everyone and anyone - and they are not afraid to say it either.

 

At least we are a little more selective

 

To be fair to that, it's because the average woman has way more options than the average man. A lot of men have sex with whoever their limited options are, regardless of the quality of those options, while if you're a decent looking woman, you can go to the local bar & have a huge list of guys that would be willing to have sex with them.

[guest569]

To be fair to that, it's because the average woman has way more options than the average man. A lot of men have sex with whoever their limited options are, regardless of the quality of those options, while if you're a decent looking woman, you can go to the local bar & have a huge list of guys that would be willing to have sex with them.

 

Where can I find that study?