Author Hopeful30 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 Less pressure on men? Kidding? Being called a stalker is a not pleasant to scary experience for men. Women want to be chased, but just by what women seem as the best men. Would you want a below average looking man trying for you? Didn't think so. What gives you the right to determine what is a man and what isn't a man? Being too aggressive can get a man's career and life ruined even if he meant no harm. Below average? I'm insulted. Since when do you assume I look at men based on their attractiveness status in society? I am flattered whenever any man approaches me. This 'below average' man could very well be the man for me. You never know these things and can't assume you do. I believe this is why so many people end up alone. You're all missing the bigger picture. People are people. We shouldn't assume their value based on how attractive we think they are. That's very stupid. 1
thecrucible Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 I don't take this stuff too seriously. Whatever people say on the internet, they all act differently in real life. Everyone is very black and white on the internet. Yes I do believe men should be the pursuers - I think a man should show interest in me first dating-wise but I am happy to start up a conversation with someone and show my side of the effort once we become more involved. The main idea of women holding off on the pursuit is to avoid being dragged into a one-sided infatuation and end up getting used and hurt. But you take it with a pinch of salt. Anyone with any social nous should understand that this advice is not gospel and is applied accordingly to each distinct situation. It's not a gender war for me. I know that I like to be pursued - I feel more desired and safer. I'm also aware that this won't prevent being hurt or ending up with the wrong type of guy. Basically I enjoy being chased rather than doing the chasing. Likewise there are women who like doing the chasing and there are men who liked to be chased. It's personal preference.
Author Hopeful30 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 (edited) I mean really, if a man is insecure, does anyone really think that insecurity came about for no reason? Of course not. Insecurity is borne from society projecting they will not be accepted as they are. Who cares why it's there? You work on it instead of blaming everyone else for it being there. It's called working on yourself instead of using excuses as to why your life isn't how you want it to be. We are all subject to this. The difference is some people try to get to the core issues to improve themselves why others moan about it. The man who doesn't want to be labeled a creeper is the moaner. I want a man who doesn't give a flying f*ck and makes his life how he wants it, including the kind of woman he wants. That's the man who will approach you if he sees something in you. If he is rejected then he should be smart enough to understand this just wasn't the woman for him. Plain and simple. Edited November 9, 2015 by Hopeful30 3
Wewon Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 I understand, but women face the same stigmas if not more of them. We can't allow that to dictate our lives. Who the hell lives by this? Not me. If a person allows fear of judgment to stop them, then THIS is the issue, not the stigma itself. Humans are social creatures, we adapt our behaviors to avoid being seen as deviant all of the time. This is why we do a lot of things socially, its also why people often use shame to make people get back in line. And make no mistake, we're all guilty of it. I don't know why this is being treated as some unique anomaly as opposed to normal part of the human hardwiring. Very few people truly want to blaze a trail to be weird. Being brandished as a person that stalks, harasses, intimidates, creeps out or otherwise alienates women is a pretty ugly label to have slapped on you. And one that you won't be living down too easily. Just look at the threads were women don't like a particular interaction with a guy and see how quickly he's labeled, "arrogant", "creepy", "disturbed" or some other pejorative. Now apply that to the real world.
Myragal Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 I mean really, if a man is insecure, does anyone really think that insecurity came about for no reason? Of course not. Insecurity is borne from society projecting they will not be accepted as they are. Who cares why it's there? You work on it instead of blaming everyone else for it being there. It's called working on yourself instead of using excuses as to why your life isn't how you want it to be. We are all subject to this. The difference is some people try to get to the core issues to improve themselves why others moan about it. The man who doesn't want to be labeled a creeper is the moaner. I want a man who doesn't give a flying f*ck and makes his life how he wants it, including the kind of woman he wants. That's the man who will approach you if he sees something in you. If he is rejected then he should be smart enough to understand this just wasn't the woman for him. Plain and simple. It's been said a thousand times. So simple. Most of us prefer a man who is confident. He goes after the woman he desires in a respectful way. There isn't anything less attractive in a man than the moaner, negative 'no can do' image. 1
stillafool Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 We are all subject to this. The difference is some people try to get to the core issues to improve themselves why others moan about it. The man who doesn't want to be labeled a creeper is the moaner. I want a man who doesn't give a flying f*ck and makes his life how he wants it, including the kind of woman he wants. That's the man who will approach you if he sees something in you. If he is rejected then he should be smart enough to understand this just wasn't the woman for him. Plain and simple. Because of the times, men are starting to want this same thing from women.
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