sedona Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I had a great first date on Wed. evening. The date ended with a hug and a chaste kiss on the lips, and we both agreed that we'd like to see each other again, although we made no concrete plan. He just recently ended a relationship and wants to take things slow' and we agreed that we'd like to get know each other before we (maybe) take things further. No one- night stand type of thing. Since then, I've sent a couple of text messages, to which he's quickly responded. He said he wanted to prioritize his kids next weekend, but we could find some time to meet next week. I answered that would be fine, told him to get in touch when he wants, and have left it at that. Now the waiting game begins to see if he really will get in touch. Everything up to this point has been initiated by me, and I feel that now it's his turn. My question is what's normal in the adult dating world now (we're both 47)? I'm used to a bit of contact - nothing major, but something -- especially in 2015 when it's so easy to get in touch. How else are we going to begin to get to know each other? But all I get from him is radio silence. I know his silence can mean that he's just not into me, but he said said he'd like to see me again, both in person and after via text message. I think he meant it. I'll of course wait until next week and see what happens, but is this what dating is like at the start-- one date each week with nothing inbetween? Am I just too impatient?
DoesntGetIt Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 A lot of people get spooked if you come on too strong/too often early on. I have a female friend who had been having a lot of trouble with relationships, but really wanted to be in one. When she went out to brunch with a new guy, she texted him later to say she had a good time. He responded. But then she tried to turn it into a text conversation. No surprise, when he stopped the conversation she got all freaked out and texted me in a panic. I told her 1) don't do that in the future, text that night (if it was an early thing like a brunch) or the next day to say you had a good time, let them respond, then do nothing. Then wait at least 3-4 days if not a little longer to reach out about another date. She calmed herself down with this guy, and now they've been dating, getting closer, having fun for a while. It isn't going to be a lot of contact early on (usually), don't fret about it unless he doesn't get back to you after the weekend with his kids and make actual plans. At that point, you can wonder.
Author sedona Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Ok. Good...makes sense. I just haven't done this in a long time!
Author sedona Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Thanks so much, Gary S. I have backed off - luckily in time - and will see what he chooses to do. It would ne nice to take things slow and develop a healthy relationship. Am doing my best to be an adult!
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