Gcgurl Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I'm very new to this forum and desperate for some wise words as regards to my current situation. I work in a big company where there are plenty of work nights out and work place relationships are very much the norm. A male work friend of mine has been chasing me for 3 months now. Contact was always very minimal between us but we had a couple of kisses and we would text briefly after. Last Friday I had one too many drinks and ended up going home with him to his house and we slept together. It was the mixture of the alcohol, his friends telling me how he really liked me and had me up on a pedestal and just the plain attraction. We had an amazing night and morning together. Since I left the next day I haven't heard from him apart from one snap chat which was a picture he sent to a number of people. I can't understand what I did so wrong. The sex was great. We get on so well. I feel completely used and disappointed in someone I thought was my friend. It's now been a week(he has been on annual leave all week). I'm due to see him Monday. Should I text him tonight and ask him to meet up ? Or does he just not fancy me/enjoy the sex? Would love to hear honest opinions as I can't speak to my friends on this
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 What you did "wrong" was to expect that after sex, he would start treating you differently... like suddenly now that you had sex, you are now in a relationship and therefore he *should* start treating you like his *girlfriend*. Nothing has changed, except you had sex. Since you wanted more than that, you should have discussed that with him and your expectations BEFORE you had sex. 4
Author Gcgurl Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 I absolutely should have discussed expectations but regardless of whether I wanted something more we are friends and work colleagues and there should be a level of respect and decency there to treat someone in the right way. He is going to be the one to make things awkward. Maybe it was a one sided feeling that there was an amazing spark there and the sex was good. I don't know
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I absolutely should have discussed expectations but regardless of whether I wanted something more we are friends and work colleagues and there should be a level of respect and decency there to treat someone in the right way. He is going to be the one to make things awkward. Maybe it was a one sided feeling that there was an amazing spark there and the sex was good. I don't know Yes you are right and as "friends" you should expect a certain level of respect. However, I don't see how he has disrespected you. Why do you feel disrespected... because he's not acting the way you "expected" he would after having sex with you? I am sorry Gcgurk, but this is on you, not him. He's done nothing wrong. Again, if you had an expectation of how things should be after having sex, it was up to YOU to share that expectation with him....BEFORE sex. If you don't like the way he is treating you NOW, then stop being friends with him..! You have options too and there is nothing stopping you from moving on if you don't like the way he treats you.
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