LookAtThisPOst Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I have noticed as of late, single people finding "neediness" as being a turn-off, but from what I've experienced, I've been witnessed to so many couples up each other's but on a MUTUAL that they are actually happy about it. And they aren't' necessarily during the honey moon phase either. I know a woman who has been with the same man for 7 years (not married, so maybe that's the secret, lol), they come to work together, go home together and of course bang it out when her 4 kids are away at gram's. (yes, they sometimes make it known to their co-workers in an innuendoish kind of way as they eye each other in the halls). But, this may be attributed to living in a small town and "being up each other's butts" is a way of life here (shrug). However, single people may say, "I'm not going to be up my sig others butt, and I hope he doesn't plan on it" may be eating their own words depending on how much they are into each other....yes?
Toodaloo Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I think what they are doing is actually validating each other constantly. I think its lovely. They don't need to worry if the other loves them of not because they know it, their co workers and families know it... Why can't we flirt with our long term partners and have a great sex life with long term partners? Why can't we keep that spark alive? These guys have found something that works for them so good on them and long may it last. I think "neediness" is only really an issue when the other isn't sire or not overly keen... In this case its a coop rather than neediness. They enjoy each other, they like each other. Good on them. 2
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Yeah, "neediness" is rather a subjective term. I think single people kind of use it as a type of wall they throw up to protect their feelings. I think what they are doing is actually validating each other constantly. I think its lovely. They don't need to worry if the other loves them of not because they know it, their co workers and families know it... Why can't we flirt with our long term partners and have a great sex life with long term partners? Why can't we keep that spark alive? These guys have found something that works for them so good on them and long may it last. I think "neediness" is only really an issue when the other isn't sire or not overly keen... In this case its a coop rather than neediness. They enjoy each other, they like each other. Good on them.
Arieswoman Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 OP, I have known some couples who were like 2 peas in a pod. They never went out separately, never did anything apart, some even worked in the same business together. It worked for them. It would drive me insane, as I like my own space. I like to spend some time apart from my SO and have different interests as IMO it makes for more interesting conversation, ideas and exchanges. It's "horses for courses" as they say...
xxoo Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Sure, we don't work together, but otherwise we are mostly together. With our kids, too! It was the same with my parents when I was growing up, so it seems normal to me.
GemmaUK Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 There's a difference between a strong close bond and neediness. I wouldn't say that these couples are needy. I suspect they are perfectly secure in the knowledge that they each have a lot of love for one another and are likely not insecure. Insecurity leads to neediness. A strong bond leads to security within the relationship. Strong bonds develop slowly over time. Neediness can occur from day one.
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 There's a difference between a strong close bond and neediness. I wouldn't say that these couples are needy. I suspect they are perfectly secure in the knowledge that they each have a lot of love for one another and are likely not insecure. Insecurity leads to neediness. A strong bond leads to security within the relationship. Strong bonds develop slowly over time. Neediness can occur from day one. Well if one partner did NOT want or feel comfortable with all that togetherness, no doubt that partner would deem the other "needy." But since they are both on the same page...to "them" it's not needy it's normal... for them. And to reference a comment in the original post, so much togetherness does not mean they are more "into" their partner then a couple who prefers more space. My boyfriend and I could not be more into each other, but we are both independent of each other and allow each lots of space to do our own thing. This actually enhances our relationship! To each his own! 2
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