soupkitchen Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 So I'm in a little over two months of no contact and we've been broken up for about 4 months now. The last time I hung out with her (two months ago), I made the terrible mistake of sleeping with her. I got answers to stupid questions I asked that made me wish I never contacted her after she broke up with me. Hurt like a ***** but it was enough to make me move on quicker and pull through with NC better though. Two weeks ago, I posted a video on some social media app (snapchat) of me at the club with some friends drunk. Maybe it's a 6th sense females have but my ex's friend saw the video and I'm sure she told my ex because three days later she texts me how I'm doing. I did sleep with this gal and I do put videos and photos on this app for all friends to see frequently. A week later, her friend sends me a video directly of her at my ex's house rummaging through the memory box I returned to her. Showing photos of us kissing in photo booths and of my cat I gave to her after hers died. She also put a video up of my ex all prepped up and pretty, definitely ready to go party. To be honest, I was moving on well until this happened. I don't go clubbing often, and this girl I slept with helped me gain a lot of confidence I lost after my relationship. Now, I think about my ex again with false hopes and I know that's the reason why I'm feeling down again. Either that, or schools just getting to me but I doubt that. The last time we talked, I know for sure she didn't want me back. I still don't think she does. In fact, I think her and her friend are immature as hell by doing that because she knows that it would bring me down and talk to her again even though she doesn't want me. But I'm lonely and a part of me always still wants her back because I'm the one who made the mistakes in the relationship. What does this mean? It's my birthday in a couple days and I know she's the type to say Happy Birthday though I've told her plenty of times before to just never talk to me again. I'm trying to decide whether to keep ignoring her, give her a short thanks, or actually respond to her. Maybe she's genuinely trying to see if I'm alright as a friend because the last time we spoke, she knew I wasn't alright.
Charlie101 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Hey man... I feel your pain, I. I. The exact same boat I made the mistakes in the relationship, yeah she did make some but mainly me, becoming insecure needy and depending on her, I've realised all of that since breaking up and really striding back to becoming the confident guy I was in the beginning, yes I still love her and miss her terribly and still do have hope in the back of my mind that possibly one day we may reconcile but I'm not holding onto that she made it clear when we broke up she didn't wanna be with me, as yours did you you've got to focus on you and and try to get rid of the thought that your ever getting back together...I've been in nc for 2 months now only broken once by her texting me similar to yours just saying she thought about me through a film and hopes I'm doing well, I messaged her back having hope that this was her reaching out, but it was the conversation ended sharpish I didn't give anything away just said I was good and that was the end of that, she's just testing you mate seeing if she still has her hooks in, I personally wouldn't reply until you feel ready that if she doesn't give you answers you wanna hear you wouldn't care wouldn't effect your healing process in anyway, but hey I'm broken hearted to so what do I know lol. But from reading your post it sounds like a classic case of she's seen your posts and that your moving on, and she doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you either.
Ruby65 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 To be honest, it sounds like her and her friend were bored and looking for something fun to do -- dropping you breadcrumbs. How is it that your ex is able to send you birthday greetings? Whatever app that is, block her on it. In fact, you'd be smart to shut down any app or site you use that allows her or her friends to contact you. You can live without it for a month or two. Don't let your birthday become a way for your ex to cure a temporary case of loneliness/boredom. IF she ever changes her mind and wants to get back together -- she'll let you know! Directly. You won't have to guess or wonder or decipher texts or videos or hear it from her girlfriends.
Author soupkitchen Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 You both are probably very much right that she's just trying keep me attached and feel powerful as the last couple times I broke NC, that felt exactly likely like the case. I was always the one with power until the breakup, that was probably one of my big flaws by not having a 50 50 relationship. Yeah, I'm not going to talk with her about anything. I'll just say thanks and leave it at that if she does say Happy Birthday. Thanks for the replies!
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