Women, doesn't canceling dates get old?

[SearchingForMyself]

I have but reality is I take what I can get.

 

Take it from a guy that has done what you are doing now: stop it.

 

That kills your self esteem. These women obviously have standards so why are you settling for every yes you get? Learn to accept dates from women you actually like and or relate to.

 

Dont be with someone slutty or flakey just because they didnt turn down your advance immediately. Learn to say no if you're not feeling it and please, dont come off clingy. If a woman says she isn't feeling you, graciously say thank you, don't say another word, and walk out.

 

Act like you have another option if this doesnt work, because trust me, many of them do.

 

Have standards. And make them reach YOUR standards. Just dont demand a supermodel. Stay reasonable.

 

One time I wrote on my profile "No overweight or obese women. If you guys care about height, then I dont want to date someone who looks unhealthy"

 

I got 3 dates from women who tried proving me that bigger women are worth the trouible, but then they saw my height and my financial situation and ran for the hills.

 

I learned someonthing that day: Women online really hate when someone rejects them.

[whatcanitellyou]

That's rich blaming me for the decisions of others.

 

 

Talking respectfully to her, confirming the date., picking a place agreeable to both. Never mind. I'm not in the upper echelon of physical attractiveness or fake charm and I don't put on a facade.

 

 

Do you expect her to be on the upper echelon of physical attractiveness?

[katiegrl]

I have but reality is I take what I can get.

 

Well it stands to reason then.....since you are not that into them, they are not that into you either...hence the reason they break the dates!

 

Difference between you and them is they DON'T have that "I'll take what I can get" attitude. They prefer to go out with guys they're actually into, and who are into them!

[SearchingForMyself]

Well it stands to reason then.....since you are not that into them, they are not that into you either...hence the reason they break the dates!

 

Difference between you and them is they DON'T have that "I'll take what I can get" attitude. They prefer to go out with guys they're actually into, and who are into them!

 

Listen to her. ^ Do not go out with a woman because youre desperate. Do it because you like her.

[Auspecial]

Haha.. This topic hits a bit close to home for me.

 

 

 

 

Just once I wish a woman would send this - "Changed my mind and cancelling tonight. Sorry." How hard is it just to be honest? Here's a newsflash ladies. When you don't mention re-scheduling, and deliver the lame excuse, the guy knows that you're FULL OF $HIT.

 

 

I agree that its lame to repeatedly make and flake on dates. And honestly it does seem that its usually women. Not all women, of course.

 

 

But honesty can be a dual-edged article with first-dates. Like the guy who asked if I wanted to gout a second tie and I told him nicely that I enjoyed the date, but I didn't think we were a match, and he told me I wasn't "all that," and then proceeded to berate me.

 

 

Fun City.

 

 

lol

[Auspecial]

CFW,

 

 

 

Maybe not "better" just "different".

 

It's a numbers game, you need to keep at it and develop a thick skin.

 

At least they didn't stand you up ....

 

And you're doing a lot better than I did when I used OLD. One site I used yielded no replies whatsoever. So the next time I joined a site I rang the guys. Some of them chatted for ages on the 'phone but no offer of dates. If I suggested a date they said "I'll let you know". They took my number and never called.

 

Good luck !

 

 

 

OLD has become a disaster for both genders.

[katiegrl]

Haha.. This topic hits a bit close to home for me.

 

Had a date planned for tonight. Got a flake text, three hours before the date. What's even worse, is that she was the fifth woman in the last three weeks to do this. The main thing that bugs me is that women continue to insult our intelligence with these LAME and BS excuses.

 

Just once I wish a woman would send this - "Changed my mind and cancelling tonight. Sorry." How hard is it just to be honest? Here's a newsflash ladies. When you don't mention re-scheduling, and deliver the lame excuse, the guy knows that you're FULL OF $HIT.

 

Because when we say that, we are bombarded with a million questions as to why, after which he proceeds to try and change my my mind, reschedule and basically WILL NOT let it go and leave us alone.

 

At least that's been my experience, because I "have" said that, or a version thereof.

 

And BTW, if I am breaking a date, and don't attempt to reschedule, it means I am not into the guy and therefore wouldn't give a rat's rear end if he thinks I am "full of shyt" or not.

 

In fact I would almost prefer it cause then at least he would leave me alone!

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

Don't feel too bad OP. I was on 3 bad dates/meetups that resulted in straight up awkwardness, no sex, and no affection.

 

All 3 of them assumed I was gay. Turns out they all only agreed to go out with me because I was black. They were in love with the stereotype and when they found out I was the complete opposite, they bailed.

 

after the 3rd one, which was a dead giveaway, I made the decision that it was me. I kept going out with women like that who were easy and into bad boys, when I myself should be pickier.

\

And so \I did, I became pickier with women and all of a sudden, I became less needy of their attention...less clingy, and most of the time, Im not even interested in dating or hooking up.

 

|Because the type of woman I want, I accepted that at 24 and in my position, im not ready for. And these sluts arent doing it for me and neither am I them.

 

So I gave myself rigid circumstances...

 

1. No obese women. a little overweight is fine. If you have a personality that wows me, I may just forget that. I need a woman who focuses on taking care of herself. It shows discipline.

 

2. Im not a wallet. So dont ask about my career till after the 3rd date. If I spend money on you its because I want to, not because im obligated.\

 

3. I wont be with anyone out of desperation. That has landed me nowhere. So if you dont like black guys, ieep moving. If you only EXCLUSIVELY date black guys, keep on moving, It tells me youre attracted to the stereotype associatred with the color, and that you arent open minded.

 

I gave myself these standards. A woman who doesnt care about my height or my skin color, but still has some class while being both funny and intelligent, as well as ambitious minded is quite ideal, but I wont search for that ideal only. I will be open to other qualities as long as its reasonable with me.

 

 

Have standards and STICK to them, that way, if women flake on you, you know its their loss, not yours. The confidence you give yourself wont hurt with the ladies either.

 

^^^

OP, this is some good advice; heed it!

 

Searching, you have a great head on your shoulders. You know what you want and won't accept anything less than what your personal standards and preferences are - and on top of that - you still approach dating women with an open mind. I don't see you being single for long!

 

CFW, you're probably not doing anything wrong as much as you're probably picking the wrong type of women to approach (and date). All you can do is be yourself; and if you're being respectful, kind, considerate and amiable, then I don't see why all of these women would be cancelling on you...unless - in their eyes - something "better" did come along. But I'm thinking that they were all just flaky and insincere women who should've been HONEST with you if they had no intention of following through on the date.

 

Chin up, and DON'T be discouraged! It's like another member here said - it's a "numbers game". The more women you approach and set up dates with, the more likelihood that one of them will meet up with you and perhaps may even click with you. Good luck!

 

 

.

[smackie9]

Because when we say that, we are bombarded with a million questions as to why, after which he proceeds to try and change my my mind, reschedule and basically WILL NOT let it go and leave us alone.

 

At least that's been my experience, because I "have" said that, or a version thereof.

 

And BTW, if I am breaking a date, and don't attempt to reschedule, it means I am not into the guy and therefore wouldn't give a rat's rear end if he thinks I am "full of shyt" or not.

 

In fact I would almost prefer it cause then at least he would leave me alone!

 

This^^^^^ and from my single GFs have told me, they get verbally abused and insulted because they are so butt hurt over the truth. That is why women will buffer it with some lie.

[katiegrl]

This^^^^^ and from my single GFs have told me, they get verbally abused and insulted because they are so butt hurt over the truth. That is why women will buffer it with some lie.

 

Thank you! I'm glad someone gets it.

[SearchingForMyself]

Thank you! I'm glad someone gets it.

 

I understand why you do this, katiegirl, but reading what you put leads me to tell the OP this, and Ill speak from my experience.

 

Women either like you or they dont. It's easy to tell if they do, but it's hard to accept when they don't.

 

Most women are going to be picky, man. So you should be too.

[SearchingForMyself]

^^^

OP, this is some good advice; heed it!

 

Searching, you have a great head on your shoulders. You know what you want and won't accept anything less than what your personal standards and preferences are - and on top of that - you still approach dating women with an open mind. I dont see you being single for long.

 

 

.

 

I thank you but I disagree, because I pulled myself off online dating and the dating game a week ago. after my 3 failed dates in a row, I did some reflection and realized I was picking all the wrong women for me. I created this standards I really wanted for myself, and pulled out of the dating game. Why?

 

Because I want to work on myself to become the man the woman I want to attract are looking for. I gave myself these standards because I should be happy with whom Im with, and not settle because of low self esteem.

 

So I plan on being single for a long time, but when I walk down the aisle with the woman I decided to share my life with, the wait all these years will be all worth it.

[katiegrl]

I understand why you do this, katiegirl, but reading what you put leads me to tell the OP this, and Ill speak from my experience.

 

Women either like you or they dont. It's easy to tell if they do, but it's hard to accept when they don't.

 

Most women are going to be picky, man. So you should be too.

 

Totally agree!

[SearchingForMyself]

I saw a really obese woman only choose tall, muscular guys on an online dating sites.

 

Shes sleeping with a new guy every night, and purposely tries to knock out these guys gfs just so she can feel desireable.

 

^This is the kind of woman that me, in my present state, seemed to run into online and in real life for dating. So I pulled out of the game, raised my standards, and now my main goal in the future is establish a liveable and decent career doing something I enjoy...then...

 

I shall travel the world.

 

I will not settle for women. I want women who are intelligent, funny, beautiful(if they are like models, awesome, but im just looking for someone who looks healthy and attractive) and independent minded so that even when were doing our things, she and I still make each other feel sexy.

 

Once I woke up from being under another obese chick, I realized that just because Im African American and poor, DOESNT Mean that all I have to settle for is big women.

 

So I chose singledom. Its not as bad as you would think if you have friends, activities, and passions. Its all of what you make of it.

 

I still wish I could have someone but the desire isnt as great as it used to be. I know I'll be all right. And oddly enough, that is what attracts more women to me.

 

But now I dont really want them as much as I used to. Isn't life ironic?

[whatcanitellyou]

I saw a really obese woman only choose tall, muscular guys on an online dating sites.

 

Shes sleeping with a new guy every night, and purposely tries to knock out these guys gfs just so she can feel desireable.

 

^This is the kind of woman that me, in my present state, seemed to run into online and in real life for dating. So I pulled out of the game, raised my standards, and now my main goal in the future is establish a liveable and decent career doing something I enjoy...then...

 

I shall travel the world.

 

I will not settle for women. I want women who are intelligent, funny, beautiful(if they are like models, awesome, but im just looking for someone who looks healthy and attractive) and independent minded so that even when were doing our things, she and I still make each other feel sexy.

 

Once I woke up from being under another obese chick, I realized that just because Im African American and poor, DOESNT Mean that all I have to settle for is big women.

 

So I chose singledom. Its not as bad as you would think if you have friends, activities, and passions. Its all of what you make of it.

 

I still wish I could have someone but the desire isnt as great as it used to be. I know I'll be all right. And oddly enough, that is what attracts more women to me.

 

But now I dont really want them as much as I used to. Isn't life ironic?

 

Nothing wrong with being single if you haven't connected with someone. I've never given a rats behind if I was single or not and have never had trouble finding good men I'm attracted to. And I'm not that special, reasonably attractive I guess and in very good physical shape.

[SearchingForMyself]

For me, it's cause when I made the date, I was interested and wanted to. Duh.

 

But for whatever reason, I changed my mind.

 

Often times after a few texts, he says something that turns me off. Or I met another guy, does it matter the reason?

 

I changed my mind, we all do, even men!

 

Yo Katie, if you ever did that to me, I wouldnt say a word, Id just go ghost. No point in draggin on the pain when I could be focusing my energy on things that actually go somewhere

 

Dont take it personally, Im sure you have your reasons and I know some dudes just cant take no for an answer, but if a woman rejects me, im not going to stick around and be her friend unless shes an awesome friend.

 

you have a right not to be interested, just like I have a right not to be a womans friend.

[SearchingForMyself]

Nothing wrong with being single if you haven't connected with someone. I've never given a rats behind if I was single or not and have never had trouble finding good men I'm attracted to. And I'm not that special, reasonably attractive I guess and in very good physical shape.

 

Im 5 ft 8, African American, light skin, chocolate brown eyes and milk chocolate skin, tiny afro, and 24. Average body.

 

I truly did connect with someone recently, but it turned out she was visiting from Canada and had to head back. The chemistry between us though was INSANELY strong.

 

I want to improve myself financially so that I could be around more like minded people like that, because that, in comparison to sleeping with easy women, was one hell of an experience.

 

Haha, me and my little friend even joked that we met in a past life and were secret lovers in Paris hiding a forbidden interracial relationship behind her husbands back, and that he shot us when he caught us.

 

I want to find a woman like that in the future. Someone who being around them is so amazing that sex is just icing on the cake, and not a focus.

 

And for that reason, I want to improve myself so I can be worthy of connecting with a woman like that, and chances are those women arent going to be online.

[katiegrl]

You and not me have the holier than thou attitude.

 

How many different accounts are you gonna open dude? Sheesh!

[smackie9]

Me and my husband went looking for a buddys profile on an OLD site as a joke. As we were looking there were a lot of not very good on there, so mmmmm ya if I was single I sure wouldn't be looking on line either. So glad I am married.

[William]

How many different accounts are you gonna open dude? Sheesh!

 

It is for that reason that this thread will now be closed. ~Thank you