Bobbi7 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I was asked this question when I was out on a date with this guy and I just thought it was rude. Like he asked me that question, then he said, "I think I already know the answer."
Gary S Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I'll admit I don't like the question. What's important is chemistry, attitude, and making sure they don't have too many problems. Interview dates can be a turnoff... everything will come out through normal conversation anyway, so I say keep the talk lighthearted and not heavy or serious, it's more romantic that way. Too bad he does not know this. 1
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 then he said, "I think I already know the answer."Well, yeah. I mean, who's really got to ask THAT question? Isn't it generally obvious? You must be an introvert if you didn't like it. An extrovert wouldn't care. 2
DoesntGetIt Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 It may be weird to ask, but then again not that much different from other random getting to know you questions. Both answers are perfectly fine and acceptable, so it isn't like the person is trying to find out bad things. And I don't see what the point of the "I think I already know the answer" since that just has an air of jerk to it. 2
Author Bobbi7 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Well, yeah. I mean, who's really got to ask THAT question? Isn't it generally obvious? You must be an introvert if you didn't like it. An extrovert wouldn't care. An extrovert wouldn't care, but then why ask that question if he already knew the answer??? Plus, wasn't he insulting me by saying I am? 1
LostOnes05 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 An extrovert wouldn't care, but then why ask that question if he already knew the answer??? Plus, wasn't he insulting me by saying I am? No, not at all. Being either is not a bad thing. I'm an introvert until I take in my surroundings, then I'm an extrovert until I get tired and retreat to a dark corner. And his last little bit was him gaming you. He wanted you to tell him to guess and if he was wrong you could have gamed him back and said I guess I'm not so predictable after all.
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 An extrovert wouldn't care, but then why ask that question if he already knew the answer??? Plus, wasn't he insulting me by saying I am? No, although I will say that in my experience, most introverts view this as a negative thing that people think about them. But think about this for a second: 1) If he's an introvert (which he isn't for asking that question) but anyway, if he is, then you're birds of a feather. You have something in common. 2) If he's an extrovert, then he's being playful, as extroverts are wont to do. He was trying to draw you out a little, and invite you to feel safe with him. That's how extroverts do it - boldly and loudly, and sometimes, a little insensitively. Being an extrovert is not always what it's cracked up to be. You get feedback about that too. 1
Price2Play Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 (edited) Did he say anything negative about being 1? No reason to be ashamed if you are. I'm an introvert & I love it! It's who I am! I embrace it & if somebody doesn't like it then they can take a hike! I wouldn't see it as insult and it wouldn't bother me but again thats me. You never know he might be one? He was just being observant that's all. If he continued on & made fun of you then I would understand. Definitely don't go on another date with him. I'm 36yr & I've never had a woman ask me this but I usually end up dating introverted woman. My exwf was 1 too...lol INJF:D Edited March 7, 2015 by Price2Play
Ruby Slippers Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Was he a lot more talkative than you? Were you very quiet? There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. There's a great book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, and she discusses the emergence of the "extrovert ideal" in 20th century America. Extroverts are heavily rewarded in American culture. But I think the tide is turning a bit. Introverts are the deep thinkers, the sensitive souls. Without us the extroverts would have no one to listen to all their yakking 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I ask that question and I am an introvert. It is actually a deeper question than "who talks a lot". I can often appear to talk a lot but in reality I can do it for a few hours and then need some quiet time to recharge. Extroverts recharge by talking and being social. It's an important distinction and it is sometimes impossible to tell during the date. I like to ask as I like those types to discussions unlike "nice weather" or "have you seen the new tom cruise movie?"... 1
Maleficent Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I wouldn't be insulted by the question and can understand why some people would ask. My mom is an introvert and my dad is an extrovert. They are still together but they worked through a lot of stuff (which I later on understood was partly because of that fact). It could also be a "getting to know you" question. It's his "I already know the answer" that is rude in my opinion... 1
Auspecial Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I wouldn't think it was rude, but I would think it was socially awkward for a person to ask that.
Auspecial Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 An extrovert wouldn't care, but then why ask that question if he already knew the answer??? Plus, wasn't he insulting me by saying I am? I think its the "individual" who questioned, not their status on the introversion/extroversion continuum. It seems socially awkward, that they bluntedly asked this question, and then deemed their knowledge in advance - it feels like they needed to place a label on something, maybe needed to control their environment in some way by labeling things.
Diezel Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 An extrovert wouldn't care, but then why ask that question if he already knew the answer??? Plus, wasn't he insulting me by saying I am? So wait... to you being an introvert is an insult? It seems like this is more about you than the question he asked.
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