Redchickady Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 i have always had trouble with guys, just like a million other girls. The thing with me is, i have always had an open heart, but i always end up having guys break it Last year, i broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year because he was treating me badly. I suspected that he was talking to other girls and he always ignored me.so i got fed up and started talking to other guys. It was never anything more than just talking; it was very innocent. However, one thing led to another and i ended up kissing another guy. I know that cheating is never the answer and i always regreted my decision for cheating on my boyfriend because it wasnt fair to him. I did tell him the next day and i broke it off. I ended up dating the guy that i kissed for about 5 months. Well karma came around, and he dumped me, in the middle of school.....in front of everyone. And i know that some people might think i deserve it, but at the same time, i felt that i needed something new..someone that would treat me right. And i put my heart into this boy; i gave and gave. And he just threw me out. He told me that he wanted to be friends, but he lied. He told me straight up.." nothing is ever going to happen with us ever again". I was crushed...completely. i didnt think that i deserved this kind of treatment. I went through a bad phase of guys after being dumped. I thought, the sooner i find someone else, the faster i will get over the last one. And i was so wrong. Eventually, after my bad phase ended, a new guy came along. He was differnt, at least i thought he was. He was a complete sweetheart to me...but after awhile, he started to ignore me..he didnt even call on my birthday. I know i should have let him go, but he was usually nice and sweet to me, and you should always give people one chance to make it up. Well he ended up dumping me...and so now im sitting here wondering how i did i let this happen again? I am a full believer that everything happens for a reason. But i honestly dont see a reason behind getting my heart crushed everytime i give my heart out. Im a nice girl...i mean im certainly not a cheater, not a liar...at least i try not to be. I may be insecure once and awhile, but so are a lot of people. So can someone give me a reason as to why my method of loving people never work? because i dont think that i could take getting my heart broken all over again
moon Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 Not that I am an expert on this myself, but it really sounds like you are not putting limits on these people that you date. You should set boundaries with them. When people begin to treat you like sh*t you should call them on it. If your boyfriend is pushing you are around---then don't return a call or two and tell him to treat you right. Punish him.....It sounds like you are putting up with a lot of bad treatment. You are probably just trying to see the good in these people. Maybe you are also chosing the wrong people for you. What are these people's backgrounds like? Are they actually good people, with character, jobs and responsibilities---or are they user types, who are always trying to blame you for everything. So I can hear two potential problems with your above statement. A). You should demand these people treat you better. You should get mad right back when they start treating you bad. You should tell people not to treat you like that. If they continue you should leave. B). You should pick the people in your life wisely. Jumping from relationship to relationship with losers is only going to hurt you. These guys sound like losers. So that part is probably not your fault at all. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries......You have to stick up for yourself. You teach people how to treat you. But seriously, I know your frustrations!! It's totally hard getting all these things right. It's one of life's biggest challenges. But you asked the question here, so that's my opinion. Don't be too hard on yourself., though You ARE single now, so no permanent damage has been done. There's still time. Good luck.
flowergirl Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 chikady: You seem like a nice girl, and nice girls do often seem to get taken advantage of. I definitely now about this, because I have worn my heart on my sleeve for the longest time. Mean and insecure people hurt others because they have no self-eseem and it makes them feel better about themselves. Sometimes it's hard to spot these people before they've done damage, but with experience you'll learn, and it'll make you strong enough to avoid them in the future.
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