Author irresolute Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 He doesn't love you, Irresolute. Someone that loves you doesn't tell you he's not the kind to love. He said the words because you said it and he was just telling you what you wanted to hear. He said he wants to meet other women. A man that loves you, doesn't need to seek other women. No, no more chances. You need to give yourself a chance to heal and get healthy. He also told me he was scared of loving me... I don't know, maybe I'm trying to grasp any breadcrumb to continue with something that is toxic for me. If he has so many issues, he's not the right choice anyway, right?
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 no, you have to go to your account to change that setting. He did it on purpose. Hence my question. Isnt that selfish, given the fact I told him to leave me alone if he was not in love with me? Meh, maybe he doesn't want to be invisible for the other women he's talking to on there. And it's not his duty to cater to you, it's your duty to protect yourself.
Author irresolute Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Ok, so this is a new guy. That's a bit of a relief. That being said, if he truly loved you, the fact that you blocked him isn't going to stop him from telling you so. In the meantime it allows you to decompress without looking at your phone or at your account wondering if he's trying to reach you. If you block and he wants to reach you, he'll go way over the top to do so. Maybe him looking at my profile was a way? He's insecure, as I am. He's somehow broken, just like me. Maybe he is trying, indeed. Maybe he doesn't want to lose me. When I told him I was bloking him he told me: this is a huge loss for me...
Zahara Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 He also told me he was scared of loving me... I don't know, maybe I'm trying to grasp any breadcrumb to continue with something that is toxic for me. If he has so many issues, he's not the right choice anyway, right? Yes, you're trying to find some loophole to justify you going back to this. And yes, if he has all these issues, chances are nothing good will materialize but drama and you going in circles.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I don't know, maybe I'm trying to grasp any breadcrumb to continue with something that is toxic for me. I think we have a winner here. 1
Author irresolute Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Thank you guys. I'll take a break from adult friend finder for a couple days to clarify my mind. 1
Mi7522 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Maybe him looking at my profile was a way? He's insecure, as I am. He's somehow broken, just like me. Maybe he is trying, indeed. Maybe he doesn't want to lose me. When I told him I was bloking him he told me: this is a huge loss for me... I think you're attracting the wrong guys, if you want a relationship that is healthy and rewarding you won't find it on aff and if he's on it along with you it definitely won't work. You're both looking for two different thngs 1
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Maybe him looking at my profile was a way? He's insecure, as I am. He's somehow broken, just like me. Maybe he is trying, indeed. Maybe he doesn't want to lose me. When I told him I was bloking him he told me: this is a huge loss for me... No, it's not a way. I assume you've already hooked up. There's no need for him to be passive with you if he really likes you because he knows you really like him. So no, this is you executing a severe case of mental gymnastics to try to justify continuing this chase. For whatever reason, guys like this get you going it seems. But no, this guy knows you want a romantic relationship. If he wants one, there's nothing holding him back -- he knows you'll say yes. It's a sure thing, nothing to be apprehensive about. At best for you he was just curious and nothing else. At worst he's doing this as a calculated attempt to make you overthink and comeback to the interaction with you that he desires -- a sexual one. And by the way you're freaking out, it seems like a good strategy for those means. But no, if he reciprocated your feelings, he wouldn't hold back out of fear because he knows that it's mutual. You're telling yourself lies because you want to continue the chase for some odd reason.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Thank you guys. I'll take a break from adult friend finder for a couple days to clarify my mind. If you are looking for something real -- I'd leave it permanently. You aren't going to find Prince Charming on there -- just a bunch of horny toads. 1
Author irresolute Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 No, it's not a way. I assume you've already hooked up. There's no need for him to be passive with you if he really likes you because he knows you really like him. So no, this is you executing a severe case of mental gymnastics to try to justify continuing this chase. For whatever reason, guys like this get you going it seems. But no, this guy knows you want a romantic relationship. If he wants one, there's nothing holding him back -- he knows you'll say yes. It's a sure thing, nothing to be apprehensive about. At best for you he was just curious and nothing else. At worst he's doing this as a calculated attempt to make you overthink and comeback to the interaction with you that he desires -- a sexual one. And by the way you're freaking out, it seems like a good strategy for those means. But no, if he reciprocated your feelings, he wouldn't hold back out of fear because he knows that it's mutual. You're telling yourself lies because you want to continue the chase for some odd reason. what scares me a little is to think he is doing this on purpose to destabilize me. I don't think he was just curious. He likes to have me hooked. He wants me, yet he doesn't want me. But you're right about aff. I'll take a couple days and see what I'll do on Monday.
Zahara Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 what scares me a little is to think he is doing this on purpose to destabilize me. I don't think he was just curious. He likes to have me hooked. He wants me, yet he doesn't want me. But you're right about aff. I'll take a couple days and see what I'll do on Monday. And wasn't this the same way Johnny kept you on the hook. Playing these subtle mind games and there you were analyzing everything. He always kept you hooked and running crazy about what his intentions were. It's very simple, when a man wants you, he will show you. Really, it's that simple.
xxoo Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 what scares me a little is to think he is doing this on purpose to destabilize me. I don't think he was just curious. He likes to have me hooked. He wants me, yet he doesn't want me. But you're right about aff. I'll take a couple days and see what I'll do on Monday. Don't hand over your power. Who cares what he wants? He has nothing to offer you.
minimariah Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 OK, but what if he wants to tell me something? Is it just too late for him to say he is in love with me indeed??? he isn't in love with you, you're overthinking stuff, he was probably curious & you're his ego boost, the moral of the story - block him and move on. if he was in love with you, he would've told you already. so stop with the nonsense and get yourself together.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 what scares me a little is to think he is doing this on purpose to destabilize me. I don't think he was just curious. He likes to have me hooked. He wants me, yet he doesn't want me. But you're right about aff. I'll take a couple days and see what I'll do on Monday. And it's working because you are allowing it to work. You can't control what he does, but you can control what you do and how you respond. You need to start doing that. If he's playing a game, and you fall for that game, then why would he ever stop playing the game?
Author irresolute Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 You're all right. No insecurity, or fear, or doubt would prevent a man from telling he is in love with the person he loves. His answer when I told him I was in love with him was clear. No doubt about that. He said "I'm not the guy to fall in love with". Nothing more to day and I'll stick with my previous plan of not letting him mess with me ever again. You're right. He has nothing to offer. Just drama. Now, why you guys disagree so much with my aff account? I'm not ready for serious dating yet I miss having sex and intimacy. What's do wrong about it?
Mi7522 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 You're all right. No insecurity, or fear, or doubt would prevent a man from telling he is in love with the person he loves. His answer when I told him I was in love with him was clear. No doubt about that. He said "I'm not the guy to fall in love with". Nothing more to day and I'll stick with my previous plan of not letting him mess with me ever again. You're right. He has nothing to offer. Just drama. Now, why you guys disagree so much with my aff account? I'm not ready for serious dating yet I miss having sex and intimacy. What's do wrong about it? Because you are falling in love with every guy you seem to meet up with. That is definitely not the dating site you should be on if you're looking for a stable relationship 2
Zahara Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Now, why you guys disagree so much with my aff account? I'm not ready for serious dating yet I miss having sex and intimacy. What's do wrong about it? You seem to get emotionally attached and affected quickly and that dynamic doesn't work with a sex finder site. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Because you are falling in love with every guy you seem to meet up with. That is definitely not the dating site you should be on if you're looking for a stable relationship You seem to get emotionally attached and affected quickly and that dynamic doesn't work with a sex finder site. Concur with both of these. You are falling for people emotionally, not just getting your rocks off. What you say you want and what ends up happening are two completely different things.
Noproblem Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 All for nothing. but this guy told me he loved me...J never told me that. EVER. What if he wants to tell me something but I've blocked him on iphone and facebook?? What if he is in love with me indeed?? Should I give him abother chance? If he loves you, he'll find a way to reach you! Don't delude yourself with other excuses!
erklat Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 My ex who brought me here also said that. She was the one to push for relationship. Nevertheless it didn't stop her from breaking my heart. How long it took you to drop the L-bomb because I think the last drama ended just recently?
Author irresolute Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Hey all. I'm debating myself whether to block him on aff or not. Yesterday I logged in, blocked, then saw he was online an unblocked. I think I still hoped hell contact me there as that's the only way he can. Then I was at work and thought he is not in love with me. Since I am in love with him, this is not an equal relationship. Perhaps he tried to love me but he couldn't. Perhaps he was too afraid to jump in with me? But I wasn't afraid after all! I wanted him and I was ready to be with him. Such a difference. Can someone be with someone that loves you less? I do think he had feelings for me. When we were together, it was magical, but thinking about it now, with Johnny it was magical too but he never loved me. I'm confused and debating whether to log in and block him or wait to see if he sends me a message there.
Zahara Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Read your signature. Do you see the similarity? Enough is enough. If you keep going on with this blocking and not blocking you are going to perpetuate this drama in your head. Block and force yourself to move on. And remove yourself from AFF.
Author irresolute Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Read your signature. Do you see the similarity? Enough is enough. If you keep going on with this blocking and not blocking you are going to perpetuate this drama in your head. Block and force yourself to move on. And remove yourself from AFF. Thank you for reassuring me what I need to do.
Author irresolute Posted March 9, 2015 Author Posted March 9, 2015 Good morning. I'm still in disbelief and I'm completely shocked. I don't know what to think right now and I don't know how to continue with my life without having this feeling of sourness. He's blocked from everywhere now included aff. Everything seemed so real when with him that I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm honestly clueless and heartbroken and today is hard.
Zahara Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Good morning. I'm still in disbelief and I'm completely shocked. I don't know what to think right now and I don't know how to continue with my life without having this feeling of sourness. He's blocked from everywhere now included aff. Everything seemed so real when with him that I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm honestly clueless and heartbroken and today is hard. There was a time when you were struggling with Johnny and after investing some time in NC, you were beginning to move on and you were starting to feel better. It's going to be the same process with this guy. You feel rejected and it's going to take you some time to swallow that hard pill. It's going to take time to get through this. And you need to stop fantasizing the image you had and how real it was but focus on how volatile and unhealthy it was and that's a fair indication that it wasn't very real. Real has to be consistent. You had sporadic nice moments with him -- you're holding on to that rather than the reality of what you had.
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