dcannon Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Someone posted about not drinking with regards to online dating. This post is about socializing in bars/nightclubs without drinking. Before I proceed, if you are tempted to post a "bars and nightclubs are evil places filled with skanks and douchebags" please start your own thread to that effect. Thanks in advance. So without further ado... The basic issue I'm facing is that I feel far more inhibited and "serious" when I don't drink. I am approached quite frequently, and last night was no exception. Within a few moments of making my way to the dance floor, the hottest girls in the place were making their way towards me. They are cut off at the pass by some broskie trying to intercept them. I come back to the dance floor later and they move quicker this time. The hotter of the two very hot girls has now positioned her rear end on my privates and is grinding and tossing her hair in my face. I am doing nothing. Sober, I feel inhibited. A minute later, she is gone. Embarrassed by my inaction, I leave shortly thereafter. How do I become less inhibited without drinking?
Assada Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Inhibited? i think your question is, how do you become uninhibited. Anyway, you dont need to drink, if you dont want to. in fact that would be a mistake. So... What did you want to do in that situation? Did you want to dance with the girl? Did you want to touch her? Did you want her to keep dancing on you? You dont know what you want. if you want her to keep dancing, say 'i like your moves, keep going' If you wanna touch her, then touch her. If you want her to leave, just do what you did, and she'll leave. Even though she left, its still not a loss for you, so I dont understand why uou'd let that tuin your night. Seems like you have deeper problems 2
Toodaloo Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 How do I become less inhibited without drinking? You learn that there is no such thing as perfection, its ok to make mistakes, its ok to be something other than perfect and you learn to relax and accept you are a human being and are as you are. I am a loonatic both sober and drunk because I just don't care any more what other people think. I am not trying to impress and I am not trying to be anything other than who I am... For some reason other people find that rather impressive all on its own!?! If only they knew that I have just as many insecurities, blubby bits, worries and concerns as everyone else eh! Have you ever gone to some adventure activity, got to a scarey bit, had to muster up courage before saying "F" it and just taking the leap or slamming your foot down on the accelerator or kicked on and hoped to hell your horse has enough umph to get over that 5ft fence...? Its that. Its the "Sod it I am going to give it a go and what the heck" attitude. I have had A LOT of fun because of it... 1
Auspecial Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Inhibited? i think your question is, how do you become uninhibited. Anyway, you dont need to drink, if you dont want to. in fact that would be a mistake. So... What did you want to do in that situation? Did you want to dance with the girl? Did you want to touch her? Did you want her to keep dancing on you? You dont know what you want. if you want her to keep dancing, say 'i like your moves, keep going' If you wanna touch her, then touch her. If you want her to leave, just do what you did, and she'll leave. Even though she left, its still not a loss for you, so I dont understand why uou'd let that tuin your night. Seems like you have deeper problems I think this is a great answer, except I don't think the OP has "deep dark" problems. He just needs to figure out a different way of seeing the same thing he has been looking at.
Auspecial Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 You learn that there is no such thing as perfection, its ok to make mistakes, its ok to be something other than perfect and you learn to relax and accept you are a human being and are as you are. I am a loonatic both sober and drunk because I just don't care any more what other people think. I am not trying to impress and I am not trying to be anything other than who I am... For some reason other people find that rather impressive all on its own!?! If only they knew that I have just as many insecurities, blubby bits, worries and concerns as everyone else eh! Have you ever gone to some adventure activity, got to a scarey bit, had to muster up courage before saying "F" it and just taking the leap or slamming your foot down on the accelerator or kicked on and hoped to hell your horse has enough umph to get over that 5ft fence...? Its that. Its the "Sod it I am going to give it a go and what the heck" attitude. I have had A LOT of fun because of it... Yes! I was going to say: You have to get to a point where you just don't give a shoot what people think. You are just living your life, peacefully infringing upon no one. Play it like a game. If someone comes up to you while you are dancing, its not as if the world will become unhinged if you reciprocate dance moves. Its just fun!
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 You change your mind set & do a sort of fake it 'til you make it. With the effects of alcohol, your inhibitions & self consciousness would be lowered so you would do things like dance & not care who was watching. Just make up your mind to dance. Also remember that many of the people who you think are watching you are too drunk to focus & they won't remember in the morning anyway. The booze is an unhealthy crutch. While a few drinks can be fun & I'm not knocking social drinking you don't need the alcohol. If you think you do need it, that need is the sign of a problem. 2
Author dcannon Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 You change your mind set & do a sort of fake it 'til you make it. With the effects of alcohol, your inhibitions & self consciousness would be lowered so you would do things like dance & not care who was watching. Just make up your mind to dance. Also remember that many of the people who you think are watching you are too drunk to focus & they won't remember in the morning anyway. The booze is an unhealthy crutch. While a few drinks can be fun & I'm not knocking social drinking you don't need the alcohol. If you think you do need it, that need is the sign of a problem. This is a great answer. 1
Author dcannon Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 You learn that there is no such thing as perfection, its ok to make mistakes, its ok to be something other than perfect and you learn to relax and accept you are a human being and are as you are. I am a loonatic both sober and drunk because I just don't care any more what other people think. I am not trying to impress and I am not trying to be anything other than who I am... For some reason other people find that rather impressive all on its own!?! If only they knew that I have just as many insecurities, blubby bits, worries and concerns as everyone else eh! Have you ever gone to some adventure activity, got to a scarey bit, had to muster up courage before saying "F" it and just taking the leap or slamming your foot down on the accelerator or kicked on and hoped to hell your horse has enough umph to get over that 5ft fence...? Its that. Its the "Sod it I am going to give it a go and what the heck" attitude. I have had A LOT of fun because of it... Good stuff! I will be re-reading some of these answers as I like them a lot.
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 How do I become less inhibited without drinking? I think you merely have to ask yourself if it is reasonable to think that a bunch of people who are drinking and going a little wild are actually going to stop doing that long enough to judge you for doing something a little bold and daring. It would be one thing if you were in a library. But at a bar? C'mon.
Gary S Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Practice dancing with girls when you are sober - practice makes perfect. If the pretty ones intimidate you, dance with the ones you don't like... you know, the horizontally or beauty challenged ones! But dcannon, according to your posts, you have so many women throwing themselves at you.... if that were true you would have some throwing their number at you too? In any event, if you are getting approached so much.... if you can't be funny, banter, or dance when you are sober, all you need to do is smile at them and ask for their number before you leave.
MissBee Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Someone posted about not drinking with regards to online dating. This post is about socializing in bars/nightclubs without drinking. Before I proceed, if you are tempted to post a "bars and nightclubs are evil places filled with skanks and douchebags" please start your own thread to that effect. Thanks in advance. So without further ado... The basic issue I'm facing is that I feel far more inhibited and "serious" when I don't drink. I am approached quite frequently, and last night was no exception. Within a few moments of making my way to the dance floor, the hottest girls in the place were making their way towards me. They are cut off at the pass by some broskie trying to intercept them. I come back to the dance floor later and they move quicker this time. The hotter of the two very hot girls has now positioned her rear end on my privates and is grinding and tossing her hair in my face. I am doing nothing. Sober, I feel inhibited. A minute later, she is gone. Embarrassed by my inaction, I leave shortly thereafter. How do I become less inhibited without drinking? Is there a reason you don't drink? If you have an alcohol abuse problem or you get wasted and stupid then I definitely understand laying off, but otherwise, is a drink or two not enough to take the edge off and loosen you up without you being drunk? I have probably been very tipsy/drunk only a handful of times in my life. Even still none of them included passing out or doing anything crazy, just maybe walking a bit wobbly and then throwing up the next morning. Generally though, most times when I drink I just feel mellow and nicely tipsy, and I have 2 drinks, 3 tops if they're liquor. I'm not out of control, I still have my faculties, but as you say am less inhibited. So is there a reason you can't consume one or two drinks responsibly to mellow out? Sorry if you answered before, I just read your initial question.
Author dcannon Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Is there a reason you don't drink? If you have an alcohol abuse problem or you get wasted and stupid then I definitely understand laying off, but otherwise, is a drink or two not enough to take the edge off and loosen you up without you being drunk? I have probably been very tipsy/drunk only a handful of times in my life. Even still none of them included passing out or doing anything crazy, just maybe walking a bit wobbly and then throwing up the next morning. Generally though, most times when I drink I just feel mellow and nicely tipsy, and I have 2 drinks, 3 tops if they're liquor. I'm not out of control, I still have my faculties, but as you say am less inhibited. So is there a reason you can't consume one or two drinks responsibly to mellow out? Sorry if you answered before, I just read your initial question. I'm just far more sensitive than the average person. I can literally get drunk just from the aroma of wine, or a small sip. If I stop drinking for any period of time, and try to resume, the effects of alcohol are multiplied many times over and affects me for far longer than the average person. Therefore, I cannot "just drink occasionally." It's better for me just to not drink at all now.
todreaminblue Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I'm just far more sensitive than the average person. I can literally get drunk just from the aroma of wine, or a small sip. If I stop drinking for any period of time, and try to resume, the effects of alcohol are multiplied many times over and affects me for far longer than the average person. Therefore, I cannot "just drink occasionally." It's better for me just to not drink at all now. do you enjoy dancing? not caring what others think helps...i do know it feels awkward when you around a load of people getting uninhibited and you remain sober, you feel out of place.....which really you are...you arent getting drunk like everyone else is this is fact.....they arent going to remember you being awkward they arent going to remember much of anything even what they get up to....but you will remember....next time remember that and just have fun dance up a storm ...be charming....be you......who cares what a bunch of drunk people think who wont remember anyway ......who cares what they think of...dance with who you want to dance with...probably better to make sure they are single first... how i look at it is...you are almost invisible to the drunk eye...certainly forgotten the next day....so live it up and have some fun..in my mind...alcohol does not make people cool....at all.have you ever stayed till the end fo the night and not had a drink...you would agree with me...not cool at all......so dont you worry about how you act....just be respectful to others...that ...is already more than what they do....deb
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I'm just far more sensitive than the average person. I can literally get drunk just from the aroma of wine, or a small sip. If I stop drinking for any period of time, and try to resume, the effects of alcohol are multiplied many times over and affects me for far longer than the average person. Therefore, I cannot "just drink occasionally." It's better for me just to not drink at all now. I gave up drinking for Lent once, and when I started up again, I was a total lightweight. At least it saved me money, but it was hard to gauge how much I could drink.
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Someone posted about not drinking with regards to online dating. This post is about socializing in bars/nightclubs without drinking. Before I proceed, if you are tempted to post a "bars and nightclubs are evil places filled with skanks and douchebags" please start your own thread to that effect. Thanks in advance. So without further ado... The basic issue I'm facing is that I feel far more inhibited and "serious" when I don't drink. I am approached quite frequently, and last night was no exception. Within a few moments of making my way to the dance floor, the hottest girls in the place were making their way towards me. They are cut off at the pass by some broskie trying to intercept them. I come back to the dance floor later and they move quicker this time. The hotter of the two very hot girls has now positioned her rear end on my privates and is grinding and tossing her hair in my face. I am doing nothing. Sober, I feel inhibited. A minute later, she is gone. Embarrassed by my inaction, I leave shortly thereafter. How do I become less inhibited without drinking? Dude, since you have told us you're average looking (I think that's what you told us)...all I have to say is .... since you still attract so many women, to the point of grinding you, etc. ...... you must be generating some damn good smokin hot sexual energy ..... Re your question.... mind over matter. You know how you act after a few drinks....so just act "as if" you've had a few and act accordingly. You'll get the hang of it and it gets easier and easier....until it becomes natural for you to act that way. The act "as if" rule works wonders.... in all areas if one's life. Especially good for when you're trying to get over someone too.
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