BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 My ex-husband was (and still is) a smoker. I met him at work and during lunch breaks, we would talk a lot outside by the picnic table where everyone ate their lunch. I was so attracted to him physically and personality-wise that his smoking was just something that I pushed to the background. When we eventually started dating and then we kissed for the first time, the ashtray-ish taste (and smell) that I experienced while kissing him didn't matter to me....because I was THAT into him. Fast forward to several years later after we got married. He developed health complications due to his pack-a-day addiction. Even though I still loved him at that time, I was starting to become turned off to the taste and smell of cigarettes whenever I kissed him or was near him. Years after that, I told him I wanted a divorce because of reasons unrelated to his smoking addiction. But now that I think about it, I just don't understand how and why I tolerated the unpleasant effects of being with and kissing a smoker! Ever since my ex-husband and I have ended the marriage and have moved on with our lives, I have never been able to be around a smoker, because the secondhand smoke makes me physically ill whenever I smell it. And even when they're not smoking, unless they've just freshly showered, I feel repulsed whenever I smell it on their clothing or on their breath. I have only chosen to date guys who are not smokers. And to me, this is unfortunate because I know that I might've missed out on some really sweet and loving guys because they're smokers ....but, I just can't tolerate the smell - let alone the fact that they're ruining their health with each puff. I had to see my ex-husband's health deteriorate after years of smoking, had to see him suffer with hospital tests, suffer with breathing difficulties and lung issues, and all around had to see him SUFFER; and there wasn't a thing I could do to help him! I just can't go through that again. Ever. So, would you date a smoker if you're NOT a smoker? It would certainly make someone's dating pool a lot larger if they did. But for me, I just can't do it. . Link to post Share on other sites
Harold of Andraste Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Absolutely not. Smoking is a complete deal breaker. I have far too many issues with smokers and how the smell makes me feel to even consider dating one. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 No. I used to smoke. But smokers and nonsmokers don't mix. It's gross. I have chronic bronchitis, so I can't be around it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I have, and I'm not a smoker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I smoked for almost 35 years and quit 3+ months ago. I feel so much better and save $7/day and also don't stink like sheeyot all the time. and no, i would not date a smoker Link to post Share on other sites
Assada Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Yeah I would. I have no problem with people who smoke Link to post Share on other sites
stellamaria Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I stopped smoking 6 years ago and detest smoking. I couldn't kiss a smoker, or even be anywhere near them. Plus I have kids and no smoker is ever going anywhere near them. Smoking in 2015 is pretty socially unacceptable. NB - I'd probably be too concerned I'd go back to smoking myself if I actually dated a smoker. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I quit smoking over ten years ago (yay!) and have only dated one smoker since I quit. Wouldn't do it again. His apartment, his clothes, his skin, his hair, his breathe all smelled like cigarettes. I couldn't date another smoker. I'm too sensitive to the smell of smoke now; it makes me cough and sneeze. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 I'm with the majority. Smoking would be a deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 was married to a smoker and while I generally dont like smokers, I will date someone if there are most of the criteria Im looking for if they respect me and dont smoke in my face or if it bothers me, they will smoke away from me. and not too many a day. a pack a day is too much. half a pack is fine. didnt disgust me so much to kiss after she smoked. I noticed how smokers who are not now talk bad about other smokers. no thats disgusting. what a horrible habit. youve been bombarding others with 2nd hand smoke for years and now the hypocrite that you hate it. my dad was like that. he sent me to the store to buy him and after he stopped it was the most disgusting thing in his eyes. idiots. its not a deal breaker all the time. I went on a few dates with a women who fit all my criteria. I never saw her smoke and she could go for many hours without. but I went on 4 dates and that was it. "? It would certainly make someone's dating pool a lot larger if they did. " exactly my mindset. so I dont say no immediately. looks are first, then their status and if that passes then HOW much they smoke and if it passes then sure ill give it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Starship Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Never, never will Never have It's not just the smoking but a general approach to lifestyle. I am attracted to fit, active males who thrive on being healthy. My guy has an enthusiasm for hiking, cycling, eating well and we will be dancing together and racing up a hillside well into our 80's. As a health professional I expect a responsible adult to make their health a priority in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 was married to a smoker and while I generally dont like smokers, I will date someone if there are most of the criteria Im looking for if they respect me and dont smoke in my face or if it bothers me, they will smoke away from me. and not too many a day. a pack a day is too much. half a pack is fine. didnt disgust me so much to kiss after she smoked. I noticed how smokers who are not now talk bad about other smokers. no thats disgusting. what a horrible habit. youve been bombarding others with 2nd hand smoke for years and now the hypocrite that you hate it. my dad was like that. he sent me to the store to buy him and after he stopped it was the most disgusting thing in his eyes. idiots. its not a deal breaker all the time. I went on a few dates with a women who fit all my criteria. I never saw her smoke and she could go for many hours without. but I went on 4 dates and that was it. "? It would certainly make someone's dating pool a lot larger if they did. " exactly my mindset. so I dont say no immediately. looks are first, then their status and if that passes then HOW much they smoke and if it passes then sure ill give it a shot. Well then, you're a better person than I am, Rocketman. I used to have the exact mindset that you have - until I married a smoker and then watched his health (and his esophagus) deteriorate...the man that I loved was slowly dying right before my eyes; and there was NOTHING I could do to help him. Even though we're no longer married and living our lives together, I still feel so sorry for all of the suffering he is now going through. I hope you never fall in love with a woman who's a smoker. And if you do, I hope you NEVER go through what I did. Seeing someone you love deteriorate and suffer before your very eyes is probably one of THE toughest things you'll ever go through. Sorry, I can't sign up for that. Like I said, reading your post makes me feel a little less of a human being because you sound more compassionate and empathetic than I am. I guess I'm guilty as charged. . Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 and racing up a hillside well into our 80's. The only hillside i'll be running up at that age will be in purgatory 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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