theoutlaw88 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 ive been dumped before and have no problem getting over it. i never acted needy or desperate. but my last ex i was deeply in love with. i saw myself with her for along time, possibly marriage its hard to explain but she just made me happy, i was in love she dumped me though. she said i could be childish at times and could be a little annoying i was hurt and upset and begged and pleaded for her back for like 2 months. i tried and tried and just came off as desperate and needy. now looking back i cringe. i cant believe i acted like that. i just pushed her away more but i cant figure out why i acted like that. why didnt i just move on like i always had before? was it from being in love with her which i hadnt been before? it just makes me sick thinking of how i acted
ZiggyZoo Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 First off, let me tell you that you are far from alone in the cringe-worthy behavior department. I myself can't hardly look back on some of what I did when my ex-husband left me. The good thing is, it'll prevent you from EVER EVER doing the same thing again... And heck yeah, it was because you were in love with her. When someone you love leaves you, the only thing you can think of to do is get them back. It takes the brain a sec to get the idea that this person is no longer interested, especially if you had planned a future together and everything. So cut yourself some slack and just go NC. Don't beat yourself up, there's no point, and it was a natural reaction to a terrible situation. 3
Author theoutlaw88 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 First off, let me tell you that you are far from alone in the cringe-worthy behavior department. I myself can't hardly look back on some of what I did when my ex-husband left me. The good thing is, it'll prevent you from EVER EVER doing the same thing again... And heck yeah, it was because you were in love with her. When someone you love leaves you, the only thing you can think of to do is get them back. It takes the brain a sec to get the idea that this person is no longer interested, especially if you had planned a future together and everything. So cut yourself some slack and just go NC. Don't beat yourself up, there's no point, and it was a natural reaction to a terrible situation. your right and it makes sens.e its a sick feeling though
Jonp219 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Man, the night my girl broke up with me I was balling in tears like you wouldn't imagine. Saying all kinds of **** that I can't even remember because it was all a blur. Then I sent her a letter in the morning asking her 4 questions (closure) she answered them, we had a chat and that was it. Then 2 weeks later I tried to reconcile with her again, I tried to compromise with her (but this time I didn't cry, beg, nor bash her) and still fell flat on my face. I haven't spoken to her since that night.
erklat Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 It's more like a reflex. Heartbreak throws you into survival mode. 2
Jimmyjackson Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I did it too. Do I regret it? in some ways yeah, it's not like me to be like that, I'm usually pretty relaxed. But in other ways I don't, it might've been needy but I tried to fight for one I loved. Looking back it's obviously doing that very thing that pushes them further but at least you know you tried and you showed how much you cared. Don't feel ashamed, you put yourself in a vulnerable state for what you thought would save your relationship, if anything it just shows how much you cared about your ex.
Satu Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 For some reason, when you were with her, you chose to have her as the exact centre of your universe. You were in orbit around her. Then she was gone, and you had nothing to orbit. Now you have to place the centre of your universe inside yourself. Once you have done that, the empty place inside you will no longer be empty, and you will begin to enjoy life again. 1
Author theoutlaw88 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 will it always be what she thinks of you a needy desperate guy?
Arieswoman Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 theoutlaw88, Stop beating yourself up over this - now. Maybe you could have handled it better, maybe you couldn't - it doesn't matter any more what she thinks because you aren't together. Now, dust yourself off and get back into the game. When I say that, I don't mean necessarily dating, it might be too soon for that, but get back into circulation doing all those things you used to like before you met her. It gets better, I promise. Good luck 1
erklat Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 For some reason, when you were with her, you chose to have her as the exact centre of your universe. You were in orbit around her. Then she was gone, and you had nothing to orbit. Now you have to place the centre of your universe inside yourself. Once you have done that, the empty place inside you will no longer be empty, and you will begin to enjoy life again. Man that's deep. You described my relationship with my ex in Couple of sentences. It's bound to get bad when you depend on others too much. 1
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