Starship Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I must have always lived among nice people. I don't know any friends who were bullied because of their virginity. I don't even know how anyone would know who these people are...do they wear t-shirts with a slogan...'I am a Virgin'...? As for drinking alcohol. My boyfriend and I go out to clubs at least twice a week. Some friends drink..some don't. Unless it is a beer bottle, I have no idea who is drinking lemonade or alcohol...don't know of any friends who care. Are you all twelve year olds...'pressured' to drink. Good grief. What type if man is such a wimp that he doesn't have the confidence to say he doesn't drink. I wouldn't date him because he is a wiener, not because he doesn't drink. My boyfriend has never smoked, done any drugs in his life...I admire him for his strength if character. Bottom line...some of you people must be drama magnets...making issues out of non issues. Get some confidence. 2
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I must have always lived among nice people. I don't know any friends who were bullied because of their virginity. I don't even know how anyone would know who these people are...do they wear t-shirts with a slogan...'I am a Virgin'...? As for drinking alcohol. My boyfriend and I go out to clubs at least twice a week. Some friends drink..some don't. Unless it is a beer bottle, I have no idea who is drinking lemonade or alcohol...don't know of any friends who care. Are you all twelve year olds...'pressured' to drink. Good grief. What type if man is such a wimp that he doesn't have the confidence to say he doesn't drink. I wouldn't date him because he is a wiener, not because he doesn't drink. My boyfriend has never smoked, done any drugs in his life...I admire him for his strength if character. Bottom line...some of you people must be drama magnets...making issues out of non issues. Get some confidence. Confidence being the key word here........
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I must have always lived among nice people. I don't know any friends who were bullied because of their virginity. I don't even know how anyone would know who these people are...do they wear t-shirts with a slogan...'I am a Virgin'...? As for drinking alcohol. My boyfriend and I go out to clubs at least twice a week. Some friends drink..some don't. Unless it is a beer bottle, I have no idea who is drinking lemonade or alcohol...don't know of any friends who care. Are you all twelve year olds...'pressured' to drink. Good grief. What type if man is such a wimp that he doesn't have the confidence to say he doesn't drink. I wouldn't date him because he is a wiener, not because he doesn't drink. My boyfriend has never smoked, done any drugs in his life...I admire him for his strength if character. Bottom line...some of you people must be drama magnets...making issues out of non issues. Get some confidence. LOL @ not dating wieners! Great choice of words right there!
dcannon Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I didn't drink for about 4 years (in my early 20's) because it was making feel me sick. I never got "bullied", and I didn't get offended when asked why. Sure there we times when they would say, just have one.....I wouldn't get all pissy about it....just told them I wish I could, but no can't. No big deal. I still went to clubs and parties and enjoyed myself. TBH no one really seem to care. I still think your problem lies with your attitude. Not drinking is a very minor issue, in an objective sense. But if you are observant of and sensitive to social cues and social "pressure" and conformity, it can become a big deal in your head. Just stay grounded and centered in your own strength. I rarely drink these days. I am tempted to from time to time, but am reminded of all of the benefits of not drinking.
alphamale Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Not drinking is a very minor issue, in an objective sense. But if you are observant of and sensitive to social cues and social "pressure" and conformity, it can become a big deal in your head. Just stay grounded and centered in your own strength. I rarely drink these days. I am tempted to from time to time, but am reminded of all of the benefits of not drinking. drinking alcohol is a very bad habit, indeed
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 drinking alcohol is a very bad habit, indeed can be a bad habit, if you're unable to control it (i.e., a habit, or compulsive behavior). For most of us, it's just an enjoyable pasttime that we like to do with strangers and friends. 2
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Not drinking is a very minor issue, in an objective sense. But if you are observant of and sensitive to social cues and social "pressure" and conformity, it can become a big deal in your head. Then they should look into therapy because anxiety is the actual issue here. 1
alphamale Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 can be a bad habit, if you're unable to control it (i.e., a habit, or compulsive behavior). For most of us, it's just an enjoyable pasttime that we like to do with strangers and friends. alcoholism can effect any social drinker at any time.
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 alcoholism can effect any social drinker at any time.No, that's what they tell you to make you feel better about yourself. But it's not true, and the evidence for this is that there are 10 social drinkers for every alcoholic. That ratio doesn't really ever change. The truth is that alcohol only affects the brain permanently AFTER you bombard it with abuse. So the question is, why do you abuse alcohol BEFORE you become an alcoholic? I think it is because you are compelled to do it. Most people who get trashed yesterday don't start drinking again today. They'll wait a few days until their system feels normal again. You used the word habit. I've never thought of my drinking as a habit, any more than eating is a habit. So that's a very telling difference in thinking. There are those special few who just can't put it down. They HAVE TO keep drinking, and they can't tell you why, and after a while, their brain changes and they get the "disease". But really, the sickness is the compulsion. Alcohol is just one manifestation of the underlying illness. And it's the only illness that can be overcome by willpower. If heavy and unmoderated drinking conferred benefits rather than misery, it wouldn't be called a disease. 2
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 (edited) It's not the alcohol that makes them become alcoholics...it's the lack of coping skills which is from odc, depression, manic depression, anxiety, bi-polar, PTSD etc in turn they use alcohol to cope. Drugs like meth stimulate the brain differently, that's why people get addicted buy the first hit. Edited March 7, 2015 by smackie9 2
mightycpa Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I think maybe the conversation is beginning to stray off-topic, so let me use this developing tangent to help answer the original question: Why is this such a big deal to women? It cracks me up when I get asked if I'm a recovering alcoholic, or a Mormon..LOL i experimented with alcohol when I was younger, but the taste never did anything for me. Also, since health and fitness is really important to me, it's a personal choice to avoid drinking. It's always been an issue. But lately it's been down right frustrating. Have pulled several numbers for HOT women online. I call to arrange the first meet and they suggest drinks. I let them know I don't drink, and then they say that it isn't going to work. Seems like such a lame reason to reject someone over. I think maybe the militancy one encounters from some non-drinkers is one of the sources of the reactions you regularly get. Nobody likes lectures, and nobody likes it when people project their own problems onto you. So we avoid people like that, and you're simply feeling the effects of that militancy.
BikerAccnt Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I'm assuming you're fairly young. At my age, I found that women love the fact that I don't drink. By the time women hit their late 40's early 50's, they've had enough of drunken men falling all over themselves. 1
alphamale Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I'm assuming you're fairly young. At my age, I found that women love the fact that I don't drink. By the time women hit their late 40's early 50's, they've had enough of drunken men falling all over themselves. not to mention all the $$$ you save
markleymassraff Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I didn't drink for about 4 years (in my early 20's) because it was making feel me sick. I never got "bullied", and I didn't get offended when asked why. Sure there we times when they would say, just have one.....I wouldn't get all pissy about it....just told them I wish I could, but no can't. No big deal. I still went to clubs and parties and enjoyed myself. TBH no one really seem to care. I still think your problem lies with your attitude. Totally agree! I was a complete non-drinker at one time and I didn't draw attention to it. I just ordered a soda or else an actual drink that I took four baby sips from. People just see a drink in your hand and think...it's all good. Or whatever, but you just don't draw attention to it. 1
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